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1/20/87 I'm in a boutique and a Barbie doll dressed in a pink satin evening gown walks in. It has a pink ribbon in its hands that looks like a human sized bouquet. Under that is a doll size blue ribbon bouquet. It is talking (mouth moving) but you can't hear anything. The Barbie doll has just gotten away from a guy who was holding it hostage. Everyone in the boutique is watching the hostage story on TV. The Barbie wants them to look at her and throws the ribbons on the floor.
1/26/87 An island with a student union surrounded by scary empty fields. I start for the hill that looks like it might overlook the area. A bull runs by in the distance - looks almost like a shadow or sillouette. I hide inside a small fence from the bull. Inside are some small animals which are talking to each other. I start to hide behind some corrugated tin walls but the bull is at the door, pushing his way in. He's not as big as usual, but I cower in the corner and try to climb out like the clown at the rodeo. Instead he talks to the other animals, especially a smaller bull the size of a dog and says, "well fuck you then." I run away to a farm with an old man whose lunch I have to cook. I want directions. Two women come along who seem like campaign workers. They seem very downtrodden and subdued. They don't say anything and clean up the crumbs.
I leave work, where all the other workers have disappeared. I am working at a dairy. When I go outside, small planes are landing in steady streams on all the streets far in the distance and seem to be gridlocked, but when I reach the street where I would have to cross they are really going very fast. The planes are small jets and are all pastel colors - pink, blue and yellow. I'm reassured for a moment because of the innocent looking colors, but then decide to try to cross the street anyway, even though the planes are bumper to bumper. I get the feeling that this is an invasion and the planes are starting a war. I run into the street and then turn around, but in that direction is an airport so I follow the street hoping to come to an end of the traffic.
2/23/87 I dream I have to live with my parents again. I'm lying out on a towel in the middle of their gravel road by the mailbox. I have an old Mustang and am walking around at the beginning in chains like I'm the ghost of Marley. Flashbacks of playing badmittan in the yard, riding my bike up the steep hills, and escape dreams. This reminds me of jobs I could have avoided if I'd gotten different jobs.
2/24/87 For several nights I dream about "end of the world" plots for movies, I think. Even though the majority of people are dead there are trolleys that go to seven tourist parks that are still there. There are quite a few other people visiting these amusement parks also. I walk through the devastation from one park to another. I visit a TV studio and watch a stream of consciousness or non-linear movie. The audience is (punk) mean boys who shut the lid of the marble balcony and I can't see the movie. Then I go to Disneyland and the park is falling apart. It has big plastic brightly colored statues of the Disney characters that the heads have fallen off and are laying on the ground. There are lots of kids under two.
I am walking through a building in the future like our malls but there are bars as well as restaurants in it. I go through Penny's and they have shoes and stuff I don't recognize, one thing just looks like chrome bars. On the other side of the cafeteria is a circular moving hardwood floor. It looks like a freeway and goes underground. There are signs and also a loudspeaker warning that people get killed on this new transportation. I get on another one and there are sweaters on the floor (ass deep) between the seats. I wonder if they are the sweaters of all the people killed on the transportation.
3/28/87 I'm having the same dream again, so I'm relaxed - know exactly what will happen. My brother is about eight inches tall and hiding under a chair. A miniature horse runs in. Then a big horse comes in and I'm still not afraid because this is just a rerun. The horse just walks past me and the room seems to have the ghosts of animals from past dreams like the bull and the elephant, like shadows. Then my old orange cat comes in and the horse chases him towards me and the dream gets out of control again.
4/16/87 I feel like a security guard -- walking outdoors at a nuclear plant and then indoors standing in the corner. I work 12:00 to 8:00 and every time I look at the clock it is still 10 minutes till 8, so I take a break in the cafeteria and when I come back it is still 10 minutes to 8. It is a very boring job and time goes very slowly and I've only worked here one day so far. I didn't like working outdoors, thought someone might shoot me and felt conspicuous in my uniform. I have my usual trouble walking when two women and I leave and I fall behind. Purse snatchers appear and the other two women fight for their purses. I decide to give mine up when the time comes and feel bitter because he will probably charge stuff at Sears with my credit card. I try to hand him my purse but he tries to cut the strap, so I run into an old man's house. He has a shotgun and I tell him, "shoot" but he doesn't so I grab the now pistol and fire but it just clicks. A cloudlike thing comes out and I pull out the clip and push a bullet down to the end and fire again. This time a bullet goes very slowly up to the guy's bicep and stops. He says, "ouch, I need that arm." I pick the bullet out of the air and look at it.
4/18/87 There are birds in my apt and I herd them out a sliding glass door. There's a cat out there. Then I go out on the front porch and four planes fly over, turn around, and fly back over at about treetop level with a vibrating, buzzing sound. The first two were probably fighter planes and the last two (all following each other) are different looking. The third one looks like a catamarran and the fourth one - huge, fiberglass with squared off front and back. I am so scared I can hardly look at it. Keep looking down. I go back inside and there are Easter baskets where the birds were.
5/9/87 I'm looking in a mirror but have a slightly different face. I look at both sides. My skin is still smooth. One side seems longer and the eye more almond shaped, hair back. Looking in the mirror later at a swimming pool where I'm in charge of a youth group, my face looks older and tired, a little wrinkled but not much. The kids disappear and a black supervisor finds the older kids and tells them to sit down. They have a gun. Also the Junior Highs have pistols.
> 5/23/87 Somewhere you have to go down a ladder to leave (one broken
> step.) Then there's an old house and I want to look inside - an open door
> and furniture, but there are mean cats. One bites my hand and two more
> are coming. I run outside and throw them back in.
>
> 5/30/87 Creek at the foot of a mountain. Very narrow rectangular house
> made of solid thick glass with beveled edges. The inside is completely
> bare, sort of the size of a small trailer made of glass. Someone says
> this is where the body of Marilyn Monroe is kept. I see her - she's lying
> on a wood slab covered up except for her head, blond hair, thin face. Her
> head jerks around. Someone is mowing around her with a lawnmower. The
> building is L shaped and the other leg has wood walls so you have privacy.
> It is like a cemetery except the bodies are on top of the ground on slabs
> of wood. Then I hear someone across the street say, "we don't want any,
> go away." I'm working on top secret stuff at work. The offices are
> little cabins, each person has his own cabin, look like dynamite shacks in
> a Western movie.
>
> 6/7/87 A man getting a rabies shot in his side woke me up. Dream about
> memoribilia from the 40's and 50's. People using "opium" but it looks
> like Easter candy and they put it in their noses.
>
> 6/12/87 A warehouse in Minnesota. When I walk in I'm stabbed by five
> people in UFO type uniforms with very long knives. The knives are about a
> foot long with narrow blades and are completely metal, even the handles.
> They stab everyone who comes in. I'm in the corner in a heap watching.
> Then they all stack their knives on the table in one stack and they are
> covered with chicken fat like debris (no blood.) Then the door opens and
> someone else comes in and they all grab their knives from the stack and
> stab him. Then they have a meeting at the counter by the door. You have
> to take off your clothes to leave. Then you can sneak out. Outside is a
> resort town and I want to swim but there is food in the water and on the
> edge of the pool, like people left in a hurry.
>
> 6/15/87 New apartment with large bare rooms made of poured concrete and
> very high ceilings. Everything is poured concrete, even the kitchen
> counters. There are no dirty dishes. The manager keeps the riding
> lawnmower in the living room and leaves the door open and some five year
> olds get in. I chase them out. Outside there are ten year olds playing
> war. They decide to arrest an adult. He pulls a real pistol and points
> it at them but a girl takes the rifle from his shoulder (strap.) He
> leaves. The girl fires the gun in the air and it is a machine gun.
> Someone says, "she hit some of them." A plane crashes, some balloons lose
> all their air and crash, plop on the ground. Then a very small plane
> starts wavering towards the apt building. I look closer and the sky is
> full of planes, every inch and they overlap. Some of them almost merge
> with the sky and they are blue and indistinct. The planes are in layers.
> The girl couldn't miss them shooting into the sky. They might be UFOs she
> shot down. The thought crosses my mind that the plane might hit the
> building and it comes right towards me.
>
> 6/22/87 I get a job but you have to walk through a dry garden and valley
> to get there. Then I have to climb up a rope to get in the building and I
> get weak almost at the top. Then I dream I beat up the two secretaries
> (man and woman) at work. I throw them on the floor and hit them in the
> face because they don't do their work right. I go to the bathroom and sit
> on the toilet but I can't pee.
>
> 7/3/87 A woman grabs my left arm suddenly and cuts a hole in it
> vertically in the bicep. Then she sticks needles in me - one very long
> one like hypnotized people use. She says she's testing for diseases or
> allergies and sticks five holes on each side of the cut. She says I don't
> have any diseases. It doesn't hurt a lot but there is a dull ache. I
> walk around anxiously waiting for the tests to show a reaction.
>
> 7/4/87 In a 60's type van, I look out the windows, the driver fell asleep
> or something. A black bear runs across the road and everyone says, "nooo"
> when I mention it. I roll up my window. Then the bear runs after the van
> (going up a steep grade) and jumps on top. My sister likes it because it
> has long fingernails like her and she leaves her window rolled down. It
> reaches in the window and licks her face. The driver's window is also
> rolled down and the back one behind a chest of drawers. I am sorting a
> lot of curlers. I have all the different types I've used throughout my
> life, pink sponge ones, brush rollers, including some that didn't work. I
> also have the metal wave crimpers my Gram H used.
>
> 7/5/87 I tell my mother that she shouldn't feel bad about the divorce and
> ask if she didn't tell me that her brother destroyed her wedding dress and
> it was a bad omen before the wedding?
>
> 7/11/87 I'm at my old grade school and have to go to pee, but the bathroom
> door is padlocked. I look out the window and the baseball field has filled
> up with water and there are water lilies drifting in the currents, but
> they aren't blooming yet. Then I see a tail in the water that looks like
> an alligator but it's a giant animal that is a rat the size of an
> alligator with armour plates so it is a little like an armadillo but it's
> face looks like the side view of a rat. I try to find another bathroom
> and have trouble making any headway walking, so I skip and dance and can
> move a little faster. A plug in catches fire and burns right through the
> wall when I blow on it to put it out. Through the hole is an attic with a
> dirt floor. Something comes digging out of the dirt and hits me on the
> side of the neck. A voice says, "oh, it's just that crow." I pick it up
> and throw it off the balcony and it sounds like a rock when it hits the
> ground. Then the bird turns into a rattlesnake that is hypnotized so that
> it's stiff and floating waist high. It looks like a shadow and shows
> its rattles in silhouette.
>
> 7/19/87 I dream about a war. There are skirmishes and people gradually
> get killed off. The woman in the next room gets killed and all her things
> have to be cleared out. She has some expensive dresses (some from the
> 60's.) Then I open a door and the men that are left are in there planning
> the next step in the war. I see some of the old men from work. There
> aren't many of them left. In the first part with the fighting, the battle
> is on a dirt road and there were fences and barbed wire (Vietnam.) Then I
> go to visit relatives - a woman with white hair standing on her porch. It
> seems like I'm a ghost floating along behind people who are really
> visiting their relatives. The woman is digging new potatoes. By the time
> I cut them open and stuff them they are eight inches long and three inches
> wide.
>
> 7/25/87 I'm at Hughes and specialists there for a workshop are waiting to
> get in. A man tells me he's going to sneak in. I watch people go past
> the woman guard. A bunch go past, then the first imposter. Then
> immediately after him the second imposter gives the same name. I think,
> he must have more than one badge. Then she surprises me and turns and
> asks me if that is his name (Rick Flippo, an engineer at work.) I look at
> him and it looks like him at first so I say, yes (except for his mouth.)
> Then she grabs him and holds a piece of paper over his lower abdomen and
> says she'll let him go if someone can stab him with an exacto knife on the
> paper (like an appendix operation.) He nods and two people in suits
> standing nearby stab him. Blood spreads on the paper and he gets very
> shaky. I say, I guess he should have taken the trouble to go and get a
> temporary badge.
> Guard says, he didn't have the paperwork.
>
> 8/1/87 Pioneer days in Appalachia it looks like. Boy shot with arrow.
> Dad shoots Indian with gun. A girl is leaving, her uncle in the city says
> she looks like a mannequin and she goes in a horse and buggy over the
> mountains in Denver. It seems like it's me I'm seeing from outside my
> body. A man and two sons say, "where is that redhead." I make a fire and
> they don't seem to see it and make another one. A prickly pear is
> cooking, but the younger boy calls it a "peach." I go outside and it is
> my great grandmother (with the broken hip's) nursing home. She says she
> gives up, she can't find her way home from a strange place again. I tell
> her I have to do it all the time in dreams. It is a snowy day in Los
> Angeles or Denver. The snowplows pile it up high even though it isn't
> very deep.
>
> 8/14/87 Sitting on the ground in a park with a man and six month old baby
> lying on a blanket between us. The people are close together and a woman
> walking by steps on the baby. Then I think she stepped on just the foot.
> A fairy godmother comes along and picks up the baby and says it inherited
> a bad dominant gene anyway - I assume allergy. Earlier I'm carrying the
> baby on my back and it doesn't hang on and almost falls. I ask the man if
> we should name it Thomas or Tom and look it over, it has long black hair.
> He thinks that name is dumb.
>
> 8/16/87 I'm taking care of two very small boys (they become so small I
> can't see them clearly) for my mother while she's out. I know she wants
> them to play in the grass clippings and they are so quiet I rake the
> clippings for them and throw it to show them how to play. They become so
> small I can't see them clearly and a cloud comes and picks them up. I go
> to ask my mother and sisters if they've seen them and my two sisters are
> pregnant and Mom is very busy and distracted. They say, yes, he's by the
> tree. I am relieved and go to see him. They say, he just fell out. Both
> boys live on another planet and are adults and spend all their time
> gambling. Life is one race after another. The younger one is "keeping
> the cooler part of his body alive by using words occasionally." Their
> thoughts are a scoreboard and the boy complains that they just run and
> display these scores continuously. His older brother breaks in and asks if
> he's trying to get killed (by thinking words.) The mother, a blond, is
> ahead of me on a ski lift and is trying to think of an advertising slogan
> and doesn't want to be disturbed. Her name, amusingly, on Earth, is
> Clymidia.
> They are good with numbers.
>
> 8/26/87 Tall building, shopping for dice. A man with a knife appears on
> the staircase. I run down flight after flight even though I think it's
> hopeless (what happens when I come to the bottom and can't move like in
> the other dreams?) But I make it outside to a parking ramp in early
> morning. I think it's Saturday in the dream. A loud voice says, "it's
> not really Saturday." and wakes me up.
11/21/87 There is a map of the USA and Oregon and Washington are gone and the Pacific Ocean is at Minnesota. It has a bay like Washington has where the mouth of the Colombia River is.
12/4/87 Walking through a new house or museum. Museumlike pool of water with ornate walls and statues outside the door. A corridor lined with grass off into the distance. It's another planet and I'm scouting it for a possible move. I have an advisor, which is a sort of horse that you rode on but it could talk. It says, "what if the men are dangerous criminals?" I say, "we'd better get a dog," and start looking through a catalog for a German Shepard. There is only one page of dogs and the last two are types of coyotes.
12/5/87 I have to walk to the barn to build something. I start to do it and then see a red bull in the fence behind the barn. Then the fence disappears and there are two baby bulls, one red and one black. They are short like terriers but look like bulls. I get scared and try to run back to the house. I seem to be floating by an effort of will.
12/13/87 At work at Northrop. The lottery number is a woman's badge number. The scene outside is very nice green grass. I wait in some bleachers looking at a person's fancy home. It seems to be in a desolate swampy area and I'm puzzled. A man comes up and asks if I want to be the spokesman for my generation. I get the feeling he's looking for a 20 year old and I'm 36. Entertainment is dismembering dogs. Then I see a man I know and he's over there asking him if he wants to be the spokesman for his generation. I wonder how old he thinks he is. I was going to have to stand in a doorway and speak to people going through. Then a doctor agrees to look at some sores on my face and see if they are cancer. He says to take off the scabs myself. Then he sticks a needle in my nose and it hurts and the man holds my nose while the needle is in there.
12/18/87 A confused view at the beach - like a telescope. There is a banner in the sky or fireworks spelling out a change from "Wild Society" to "Mild Society." It looks like a gambling scene and I look for lottery numbers. Then the fireworks finale is a picture of a dragon that changes to spell "Maria." This happens twice in a rectangular dark gray box. People rush to the door to see the picture as it fades. Hugh Hefner is making a movie with them. I go into a fenced area that has a group of people on one side and climb up on a fence when animals start to appear and say I'm "looking around," but a horse begins talking and says, "oh, yeah, then I'll do this," and it stands on its hind legs and paws viciously at the wooden post acting like a lion. I think about an Egyptian god I was just reading about, Shekmet, that is a huge cat that roams around killing people and it disappears. I continue to investigate a series of pens and climb a wall. Small bulls are crashing into the wall beside some men. Then I'm in the building beside the wall and a man asks me what I'm going to do. I see a gigantic bull as tall as an elephant. A man had him tied upside down on a stick like a pencil carrying him into the ring. While I'm watching this, another bull appears between me and the fence. This one looks real and paws the ground threateningly with jerky motions bulls really have. It is black like all the others and stands outside the door so I can't get out. The wall seems very flimsy. I look out and the fence is 20 feet tall to keep the gigantic bull in. It's impossible for me to get away over that fence, but I try anyway.
Updated below 3/29/01
7/11/87 Dream starts out at work. I have Christmas trees all over my
> office and I turn on the lights. Then I'm in the kitchen of my present
> apt. A hole burns through the wall into the neighbors' apt. A crow
> flies up and hits me in the side of my neck, then turns into a pigeon and
> bumps into me again. I pick it up and throw it off the balcony. There
> are men standing around talking down there and the pigeon falls on the
> ground rather than flying and sounds like a rock. The place were the
> pigeon falls is where I am standing 1/1/97 in my most lucid dream to date.
> Also, that morning in July, police, firemen, paramedics are blocking the
> driveway when I try to drive out because a neighbor knocked a girl from
> Leuzinger HS across the street off her bike with his car pulling out of
> the driveway. This is the second time I saw him do this, but the first
> time he knocked a redheaded boy off his bike and he just got up and the
> police didn't come.
> 9/13/87 A dream of how Spiritualism/channeling works. A voice asks if
> I'm going to get another job and a little imp runs up and asks if I have
> and interview or have been offered a job.
>
> 9/26/87 In the lobby of a building in Albuquerque that has fifty stories,
> green tiles and an elevator. It's night and you can watch planes from the
> roof. I'm with a family and seem to be one of the kids, sitting on a
> bench. The elevator door opens and the whole family levitates into the
> elevator. Then the elevator starts upwards and you can see through the
> walls. They are made of wire and it's like being on the inside of a
> dressmaker's dummy because the building gets smaller and smaller the
> higher up you go. Barbed wire at the top. You can see the lights of the
> city below.
>
> 10/4/87 I wake up right before an earthquake. Someone calling my name to
> wake up. Heart racing. A big hand coming to hit me.
>
> 10/7/87 Dream speeds up, getting away from a murderer. After the flurry
> of escaping, I concentrate on some activity and then say, we're really
> dead aren't we, no need to do anything. This wakes me up.
>
> 10/11/87 I dream I'm an investigator at work. I don't have any duties,
> just walk around to see what's going on. I'm wearing a blue crocheted
> dress. There is another woman in a blue crocheted dress who is also an
> investigator. I see her a couple of times. I go check some paperwork and
> some men are carrying out the (Japanese) supervisor in a laundry bag. I
> hear his voice inside the sack saying, did Sheila see me?
>
> 10/18/87 I'm walking through a farm I just inherited. The dirt is red and
> bare, no crops growing. There are trees only around the house in the
> distance. I walk up a trail and a man says something about all the
> animals on the farm are adults, so there aren't any mean ones. Then a
> teenaged pig appears. It has very long reddish brown fur. When it gets
> close and sees me it gets startled and jumps back and also jumps up on its
> back legs - rearing up like a horse. When I get closer, the trees are
> eucalyptus. A man is fixing the hot water heater - bills already. There
> is also a cat. There are mountains shrouded in clouds, it looks like, out
> the window.
>
> 10/24/87 I'm running away through trees and then over a wall. I keep
> having to start over and after about five times of climbing over the wall
> I'm too tired to escape again. The wall is smooth pink porcelain. There
> are other people running away. They've run away so many times they've
> made a path, steep, looks like the Redwoods. There are two paths and I
> take the narrow one like a cow or game trail. A voice says that he did
> that last time too hoping the guy chasing him would take one of the other
> paths. Now the ground is dry and bare with clumps of cover. I can barely
> move, so I crawl and eventually have to pull myself along by the grass.
> Then the ground is bare with no grass and I'm stuck. An old man is
> shooting and we can't run across the clearing to the next bunch of trees.
> Then I'm at the wall again and everyone has found knives. One guy has a
> gun and shot the old man but just wounded him and has only two bullets
> left. My knife has a broken blade but the slivers are sharp. I try to
> cross again and a helicopter with USA on the side and a boy scout type
> sprays gas on us. One guy falls down on the ground and a voice says, why
> don't you fall down and pretend to be dead/asleep like that guy? Then the
> guy has a lot of supplies assembled, too much for everyone to carry and he
> keeps thinking of more stuff we need.
************************4/2/01**************************
> > 11/1/87 Last dream of the morning before the alarm. A depressed dream.
> > There was no picture and the sound was just mumbling. People talking.
> > Dream about a murderer at work. I run away through a doorway. It is very
> > chaotic, papers flying, people running, someone chasing, grabs me. Dream
> > about a real thing at work I don't want to do because it is a waste of
> > work. The person won't listen. It will have no result.
> >
> > 11/7/87 Living in the trailer again. Steve says, I have to go get rid of
> > that squirrel. He goes out to shoot it.
> >
> 11/15/87 I'm sitting on the ground by a sliding wood door of a barn. Feel
> like I've just become conscious or woke up in the dream. May back is
> against the wall. I hear that some cows have just had babies, which puzzles
> me, because it's not March, whoever's cows these are must have left the bull
> out with the cows all year. Then the bull snorts beside me/in front of me,
> but I was looking to the side trying to push the door open. I'm groggy,
> think it's a person and say, what? and when I turn around am horrified to
> see the bull's head right there -- but it's Joe, not the neighbor's red and
> white bull. He backs up and I think he's getting ready to charge but I
> can't move. Then I do get inside somehow and the building is completely
> bare. Some workmen had been working quietly and when they leave I see they
> built something in the ground with a wooden lid, poured concrete, and there
> are metal corners to keep it square. There are other doors and I look out
> but the bull is still there. I climb over into the pen where the babies are
> kept. The pen is full of babies of all sizes but the biggest's head comes
> to my hand and I push it away. I keep crawling over higher and higher
> fences (the last one is about twelve feet) and I start to get afraid of the
> height. Then I start across the last hill and see the pony going away from
> me. This is the last straw. A white pony (the real pony was spotted, spots
> are missing) appears on my other side and I throw snowballs at it and it
> turns around to kick me. I hear a voice telling me to chase it away and I
> throw more snowballs and show him how it turns around to kick me. Then I go
> to a lecture about beef preparation and a man in a lab jacket is cutting up
> thick steaks into little pieces.
1988 dreams
**********************4/3/01********************
> 1/3/88 Something about the sun. Dead people (veterans) doing something
> new now. Maybe a cemetery/graveyard - the ghost looking out over the
> scene resting.
>
> 1/12/88 I wake up standing outside the apartment building at the bottom of
> the steps by the laundry room in the manager's parking spot. I am
> standing right behind where their car is. I can see the fence around the
> parking lot, but can't see any cars. There must be cars parked there,
> there always are. I can't believe I'm out of my body, look around and the
> concrete looks like snow or sand with an edge like a curb. A man appears
> in the distance and approaches to the fence, about two car lengths away.
> He is naked except for a ribbon across his chest like the New Years Baby.
> He has dark hair. I think maybe he's a dead person and can answer
> questions, but I don't want to ask any, I feel stubborn and that it is
> greedy. Then I remember that I'm out of my body and wonder if I can walk
> up the stairs and get through the doors somehow. I start for the steps
> and he glides over there, looks shorter now. He grabs the railing and
> shakes it. Then I find myself saying, you said we could move by August.
> The guy says loudly, that's what you think... I am thinking the question
> but he can hear me. His voice is metallic and loud, right inside my head.
> It makes my head ring and I put my hands over my ears and feel like
> falling on my knees. He glides closer, in one instant is right in front
> of me. I look at his teeth and the bicuspids look a little large, like a
> cat's. He has his attention on me and I want to get it off, so I yell,
> no, you said that. I wake up yelling in a strangled voice in my sleep.
> [then I went down to look at the spot where I was and the railing is
> rusted off and dangerous. There is a branch of a mint plant I never
> noticed before growing through a tiny crack in the wall from the old man
> next door's yard.]
>
> 1/17/88 Traveling, I go the wrong way on a complicated freeway with
> complicated on-ramps. The traffic stops (four lanes) so I can turn around
> and go back the right way. Then I'm at a bus station and a woman asks if
> I need help. A pre-school teacher is hitting a kid with a long thick
> rope. I need money so I start for the bank and a man knocks me down and
> whispers in my ear, "run" but I can't. Then he whispers, you could have
> been a housewife and had a son and later a daughter.
>
> 1/18/88 I'm at work and there is a very bad earthquake. The shaking
> starts and goes on and on. Bob Gower has retired, so I go and stand in
> his doorway of his office, but the shaking is so bad I can't and just get
> under my computer table. The quake stops when I get under there, so I get
> back in my chair. The lights are out but you can still see and somehow my
> office is switched around so the desk and computer table are switched, a
> mirror image. I also now have a coat rack and I get my sweater down to
> leave. The woman I replaced is still there and getting her sweater down
> too. She did have a coat rack, I've been knocked back in time. She tells
> me she has to write down the instructions for the person who replaces her,
> which was me. There are two purses on the desk, a man's badge and keys.
> I go down the stairs and people are talking about how scary the quake was.
> I go to the car and the lot is gravel and looks like my old high school
> parking lot. A man wearing a mask is in my car and I open the door and
> tell him to get out. He takes a hammer out of the glove compartment and
> threatens to hit the dashboard. He takes off the mask and I don't know
> who he is, but he looks like the picture of the man on the badge. He has
> bushy eyebrows and looks short. He gets out of the car and threatens me
> with the hammer. I scream and he backs off and starts looking around like
> he's forgotten me but when my voice gives out and I get weak, he starts
> looking at me and coming closer again.
>
> 1/23/88 On a street corner in an unfamiliar town. A crowd of people. I
> run to get on the bus but it doesn't stop - there is no one on it. The
> next corner looks like the Galleria, so I know where I am - Inglewood Ave.
> A park with a lot of grass and piles of dirt. Teenagers hand me a
> Jehovah's Witnesses tract and it has a prayer on the back praying to meet
> a UFO. I'm sliding down some banisters that look like a Federal Building
> - a lot of steps, looks like Washington DC. I hear two men behind me say,
> lets throw her down the stairs. I reach the front door and tumble out. I
> sit on the steps trying to figure out what is happening. [Ruhland Ave,
> off Inglewood has had two tragedies. The first incident, a man shot his
> youngest son 1999 (another later dream with a small boy sitting on a
> grassy hillside) and the second, a child molester shot himself as deputies
> approached his house 2001.]
******************posted 4/8/01
12/25/87 I dream about "fairy gold" and get two Christmas presents in my hands in the dream. They are soft with dark blue and white paper. The presents disappear and become a folded army fatigue shirt in olive drab, not camophlage and a backpack. I have go learn not so shop in dreams, the stuff just disappears when you wake up and wastes the whole night and makes you tired.
12/26/87 At Gram Esther's house in her parking lot where I had to stay in the car after I saw the Indian family walking down her sidewalk and Dad came out and spanked me. The Indian was spanking his kid at the same time. Shirley is driving an old car and it won't stop. Rolls down the hill and she says, now I know what's wrong. Usually that happens to me. It is so tiring to drive in dreams. I can barely push in the clutch and my legs has an incredible isometric stress. I go inside, it isn't really like my grandparent's house, has a New Mexico decor. I have two tiny "kittens" in my hand. It's a new kind of animal. My siblings arrive and come in. There is a space ship on the lawn with these animals. They say, do you know you get diseases from animals (like Mom always said.) They urinate on my hand. I put them on a kleenex and it gets all wet and they disintegrate into caterpillars. I am a little annoyed because I heard the same speech and was telling Grandpa that they could be marketed, a fortune, but I knew animals are dirty and give you diseases.
12/27/87 I am driving to my "job" -- not my real job, at the beach. A tourist type street. I park. I try to pull out and a bus is there. The car rolls down a steep hill and I try to stop it by putting it in a forward gear. A bunch of teenagers wakes me up. [Cars often roll down the hill at the beach out of control.]
1/24/88 I visit Mom's old farm. We have moved in there. A lot of trees have died. The hackberry tree on the left side of the circular drive. I remember reading that they are short lived trees. The oak tree is on the wrong side. I think about using it for firewood and a twig hits me on the shoulder. The house has been painted blue again. A man says, I never thought we'd move into an old house like this. The house is about 100 years old. The ceiling is replastered. I think, it was the floor that was rotting. I go upstairs to look at my room and my brother's stuff is in Sandy's room and mine -- all kinds of macho camophlage stuff. I think maybe this shows what would have happened if I hadn't lived or had died. I look out the little window under the eave. There is a patio out there and a shopping center to the right. I go out and it looks like an airport ahead. I start to the left but the wind is so strong I can't move. I can see my dress blowing out behind and it looks like I'm floating on my back a few feet from the ground. The dress is dull black neoprene like a wetsuit. Then I'm sitting on the ground because I can't move and get so tired trying to crawl. A man tells me to sit and rest and goes through my purse and suitcase for stuff I don't need, throws it out. He throws out so much I get confused. Then the ground has moved me to a big building with an open door like a hangar. Some work going on in there. You can see workers in the big open doors.
2/3/88 I go to a lecture and end up lost in a strange town. I walk and walk. I end up above a small dam. Across the dam is the rich side of town. The houses are Spanish style and fountains.
3/2/88 Traveling, packing a suitcase, going for breakfast. A man talks about sending a boy back to the psychiatrist. He admits that he's been acting hyperactive again. I am suddenly picked up by a giant hand. One finger is around me -- in the front and I'm sitting on the palm. I want to get down.
4/11/88 Three scary dreams. Walking through sand trying to see if there are buried rattlesnakes - any horns or noses sticking up.
I wake up in the dream and find out I'm going to have a baby that day. I ask how I could have let this happen. I pace the floor. A man asks, what day did the doctor say she would be born. I wonder how he knows it's going to be a girl. I say, the day after New Years. He asks if it is the day after New Years. I wonder how I will support us. The I look down at my blouse and wonder if it will really be a girl. Walking through a barren farming landscape. Then a dress shopping break. There's a car you can stay in and two rooms that overview different groups of the world - reminds me of Disneyland. There are mountain Chinese people - the man doesn't have any front teeth and the families are camped very far apart in snow. This is a UFO trick, it looks flat, but when you try to climb back up it's a verticle cliff like a mountain. I almost start crying.
5/1/88 I have a van and I'm driving to work. The dream lasts three days and I drive to work three days. Each day I pass a man in a surfer wetsuit who is disappearing into a machine. The first day he's up to his feet, the second up to his knees, the third up to his waist.
6/15/88 A "shower" that is chocolate milkshakes. I feel it pouring on my head from behind. Then it's vomit in my face and I can't breathe. Horses and elephants outside but I'm not afraid because a man is with me. I look at them out the window of my old room and one comes up and looks in, pushes on the house and tips it, breaks the window and starts to crawl in. We run out a fancy french door that is new and get in a van but the back is filled with a grill you have to sit on. The grill might be hot from cooking.
7/4/88 Sleeping in a car outside a park. A man sized green dinosaur with brown human lookin hair comes along. Men are leading it.
8/23/88 In a rich person's house because they are on vacation. I take a quick look around to see how dirty it is. I look on a shelf and find a box of diamond ear rings. I say, they took the kids and the servants, but not the moving men. The ear rings belong to the moving men. Then they return home, a bratty five year old boy running ahead. They have a string of hot dogs trailing and one falls into my hand and I suddenly realize that they have horses and cows to feed. I get half way across a brown lawn and a red and white face bull appears, it's pretty small, the size of a cow. I try to run to a tree in the middle of the lawn that has fallen over a few feet from the ground like a gray platform. A dog grabs my shirt tail and keeps me from running. I walk to the tree and the bull is walking after me. I climb up on it and am about four feet from the ground on the fallen log. There is something on my shoe, bacon or meat and I scrape it off on the log and the bull eats it. I get a sinking feeling that I had this dream before when I see the french doors, but I haven't. I go inside and it's Gram Esther's house and I tell everyone the bull might crash through these flimsy glass doors. People are panicked and try to hide everywhere. A man in a cowboy hat with a sidekick comes in and says he'll take care of the problem. I think he'll shoot it, but he looks out the window and runs away and I have to take over again.
8/29/88 I get in a gun battle with police. I am behind a wall and have a pistol. Then I'm invisible and hide under the lawn. I'm a bump in the grass. I can't fight anymore. Some kids come along and I watch them play and wait until they leave and I follow along behind them walking in their footsteps so the police can't track me if they have Indian trackers. I follow a levee. At home, I pack quickly and a man leaves with me on a ship. The ship is going through ice, but somehow melts it to get through. There is air pollution from the engines and I have trouble breathing in the engine room. I keep falling off the ship and the water is very cold and my arms get tired trying to climb back up the rope. When I complain mildly, that the water is cold, the man says, then stay out of it. {This dream was the last one I wrote down for a long time. I was very tired from fighting and fighting my way.]
8/95 is the next entry. I'm walking down a busy street with a lot of people and stores on the other side of the street. I'm carrying a nice brown leather suitcase and my blue samsonite makeup suitcase from high school. The man with me runs ahead and I can't keep up and I start to cry and scream very loudly for him to come back, it echoes through the world. The street ends and a dog says something to me. It has reddish brown fur and is lying on its back on the ground on a river bank. It says it is fatally injured from a shot in it's stomach. I look but don't see a wound right away. I think it's just trying to get me to pet its stomach. It has its paws tucked under and is chest up. It is a cute dog. I am so tired when I think of going on and ask the dog to keep the suitcases and guard them. It says something about the bar across the street and I look and it is very crowded with more people going in. Maybe the man I was with is in there, I think, and start to get up. The street is hard to cross, so I look at the river where the dog is lying on the bank. I am surprised to find it is the Los Angeles River where it gets very wide right before it goes into the ocean --very dirty, wide, dangerous looking with fast current -- typical river. There's a bridge, really crowded with oriental women ahead of me. I don't have papers but am determined to sneak along the railing if necessary or along the ledge on the outside of the bridge or under it. The water is very high -- over the top of the bridge in the middle. Must be a storm causing a flood. I didn't think the Los Angeles River ever got that high. On the other side it is very crowded also. The ground is wet. There are concession booths that are all out of food. Then there is a nice mall with baby and children's furniture -- ruffled beds for young girls. I look at it for awhile and then have to go through a curtain and decide to go back. There is still a crowd on the bridge. I wonder if I hurt the dog's ears screaming when I was alone and too tired to walk.
NOTEBOOK DATED ON THE FRONT 1986-1987
12/25/86 A man with three henchmen is following around an actress or
someone. I see a secret police report that he has murdered several people
already in Los Angeles and put "J" on their chests. I see him several
times--once on the stairs, once with three hostages, once outside a new
building on a long dike or levee like thing (like New Mexico) where he says
he's fixing a three course meal--a rat on a Ritz cracker. There's a
long-dead bird (sparrow) on the ground and I throw that in his face. On the
building there is a police trap--cover the building with a blue plastic
water balloon and this will cause it to rain, which freezes into sleet or
hail. It works. I see the guy's face clearly--he has a (unshaven) straggly
brown beard, short brown hair, close-set brown eyes, muscular build, light
colored pants and shirt. He has the facial grimaces of a wrestler-- like
Randy Savage, only not bald. Then a blond woman in white slacks (straight
waist-length hair) lands a helicopter and takes him away (this is on the
levee). Swim show of the latest technology in swimming aids--dolls,
lifesize that have motors and you hang onto them and they pull you through
the water.
January 1987 I dream that I've gone on a long journey--like life, through
time and space, then I start back (in the dream I think you can go back)
which is through crowded mall department stores. I get to the door and the
building the mall is in is brick and several stories tall. Right outside is
our old home, which I now see is two hollow trees. I open the door of one
after knocking and it is bark. Inside is sawdust and it is very small,
nothing there, but a man finds books buried in the sawdust. It seems like
we have been taken away by the fairies and when we came back everyone who
used to be there is dead. The houses remind me of where squirrels live.
1/17/87 Dream while sick. Walking along the river that looks like a ditch
in Albuquerque. It is winter and the water is freezing. I climb up the
bank and a man is up there--also a store where the rich owners phone had
been blown up. There are books on the shelf. I wonder if boys will throw
them out the windows like the last day of school in the school library in
Van Meter.
Halloween Morning 1986 -- 3 Violent Dreams. I am at a potluck party
where everyone has brought some cookies or something. I know that one woman
has hidden a bomb in her cookies that are shaped like an owl, so I step on
them on the floor. Then the bomb blows up in the bathroom, but I get away
because I knew about it in advance. Walking out of the house I see another
woman from inside and am amazed that someone else survived. She seems to be
Death and tells me to turn around and I'll see all the people who were just
killed in the house. They don't know they are dead and are walking down a
hall and sitting by a window. She says they'll continue like this until
they get "old" as ghosts. I walk on down a street until I come to a house
where a mother and daughter lived who looked almost alike. The daughter had
a box full of sticks and had just gotten cheated on a deal. She was
standing at the top of a staircase and I pushed first her and then her
mother off the top of the staircase to the side all the way to the floor.
Then I see the young guy who had cheated them and he started throwing knives
at me. I put a net over him and then started the gas tank of the furnace on
fire to burn him up and ran out of the house--out the basement door of
Grandma's house.
1986 summer. Dream about the end of the world. I am in a backyard storing
junk under a table and see a retired colonel mowing a lawn. This is
disconcerting. Then I go on and am naked by a busy highway. A woman gives
me a lime green sweater; then it's the end of the world and the world is
divided up into zones. The first zone is thrift shops; the next zone is
volleyball courts and is hard going. I have to crawl and pull myself along
by the grass. Then I come to the next zone which has a fence and is
rapists. The rapists are breaking into the other zones. I think maybe the
thrift shop zone was better and go back. Now the volleyball zone and thrift
shop zones are allied against the rapist zone and are eating dinner at a
picnic table. The food they are eating looks, tastes, and feels like brains
in my mouth. So I decide to try to make it across the volleyball zone to
another zone. Then I run into a middle-aged woman wearing a coat with
pockets on the inside filled with greeting cards. She says there were still
greeting cards after the end of the world but she had only a few left and
that the rapists were wearing condoms. I turn right into a hallway with a
door at the other end that might lead into another zone. [This dream might
have started with me visiting Boeing Long Beach and the ground starts
shaking and I think it's an earthquake, but it's a bomb and someone yells
that it's the end of the world, so think about that--I run through a
security door and then find myself along a road with yard sales and then a
picnic table with people acting very civilized but eating brains. ]
5 years old, there is a big wolf in the barn that has big teeth. I try not
to act scared and climb up higher on the ladder. the wolf chuckles and says
I should be afraid of those little kids at school. I ask why it's an adult
wolf, not a little kid wolf. The wolf runs up the ladder and steps on my
shoulder on the way past--very furry warm foot.
1979 or 1980 I dream I am on the bridge at the end of the driveway at Mom's
old house. It is very foggy and at the beginning of the dream I am lying on
the ground clasping the calves of a very muscular hairy leg that is bent at
the knee. The feet are hooves. It seems to be begging Pan or the Devil.
As soon as I become aware of the action in the dream I stand up and attempt
to "get ahold of myself". The fog goes away and the sun is shining on the
creek and field. The hairy leg is unnerving because it feels so real. The
leg seems very powerful and restless and I grab it so it won't be as likely
to step on me.
5th grade, 1961 -- I dream I am walking up a hill with hedges in rows like
mazes. A little dog is running ahead of me. The little dog disappears and
it gets dark. Then I start finding dead rabbits on the ground. In the
woods I come upon my parents with a saucepan full of blood over a small fire
that won't stay lit. They have run out of rabbits and want blood from my
arm. I kick over the pan; and then my mother starts beating my father over
the head and it starts to get light. I leave the woods and it becomes sunny
with long dry yellow grass. There is a long slope where an army is
advancing, me with them. Then there is a fence with a body hanging on it
and bodies on the ground. They are the boys from school when I look at
their faces. I go into a town and am afraid because the soldiers will be
coming. I dress in a nun's outfit and put dirt on my face but become very
distraught because this won't work and I don't know where to hide and have
no gun.
1980 I dream I die and go to hell, which is a building under the ground.
There is an opening for the door, but no door. It is under a grassy hill,
like a bomb shelter/bunker. It is very humid and damp, not much furniture.
There are only 3-4 men there and they hurry out when I come in. A man comes
after me and is horrified that I am in hell and makes me leave. I am
relieved, we go out the door I came in. The 3-4 men seem to be the
Mideastern men who towed the car the day before in real life after it broke
down on Sunday in Redondo Beach on Esplanade (they were very helpful really,
coil had gone out--but they said to walk to Pep Boys which is open on
Sunday and try a new distributor cap--which didn't work).
11/5/86 Shopping dreams/shopping in outer space. This morning I dreamed
about shopping in a men's wear store. I look at some cheap pajamas that are
flannel. When I turn around, a man is holding 4 pairs of pants with big
signs on them that say $50 each and is trying on jackets. Usually I dream
about shopping at thrift stores, this is the most expensive dream I've ever
had. Once I dreamed I shopped at a thrift store with a patio that was
survivors after the end of the world, but I was too depressed to shop. In
1978 I dreamed I shopped at a thrift store in outer space or at the center
of the earth. The light was diffused which made the plants grow funny and
long. The dresses were covered with embroidery or sequins, but I was
skeptical and the decimals in the price tags started moving, then the price
tags disappeared altogether. Since it was a dream, I decided to steal as
many as I wanted, then thought I'd better just try them on, since they were
going to disappear when I woke up and I was never going to see them again.
Why get in the habit of stealing, and why wait to try them on--have fun in
the dream. As soon as I thought that, the thrift shop disappeared and there
was a style show in the funny long grass in the valley with crowds of women
all wearing the same style chiffon dress. I asked one why they didn't wear
the ones with the embroidery and sequins, but she didn't answer, so I
screamed the same thing at all of them to agitate them.
Hungarian Circus. A man and I are on a bus in an unfamiliar
neighborhood--looks like suburban rural with estate lawns and trees and
mailboxes. Then the bus goes into a pre-dawn condition in a valley with
bare dirt. There are circus people on both sides of the road from a
Hungarian circus with their horses and other animals. I don't look at the
animals, because there might be lions. There are some rusty displays. One
is antique furniture on a rug on the ground. There is a fire inside a tooth
display that also serves as a building with ledges to sit on. The building
is shaped like an open mouth but is really just an open molar that is open
because it is demonstrating a cavity. The cavity is where the fire is that
keeps things warm in the pre-dawn chill, but I'm afraid the rusty old stove
will cave in and drop the fire.
11/9/86 A plane to Tahiti is "shaken up" by a gremlin or by fate, against
them going to Tahiti, to start a new life, or to be tourists there. Several
stewardesses ankles sprained, a passenger's toe stubbed. Many people vomit
and the pilot turns back to Los Angeles. The plane hit turbulence and was
tossed up several thousand feet.
I get the feeling that there are certain types of dreams at certain times of
the night. Scary/ vivid ones right after you go to sleep, before midnight.
Ones about what the neighbors are doing around 9AM.
I dream that we're living in a nice house and find out our old neighbor,
Stan (The Grub) is living next door here too. So we go over to his yard to
cut the tops off all the trees in his yard. First a man cut off several
trees and plants and I think we're getting in trouble, then I help. Then
the place turns into someone else's yard while I'm concentrating on
identifying the plants--most of them are just weeds because the guy doesn't
take good care of his garden. Then it's a dairy farm and the people also
set up craft fairs. A woman is picking raspberries off plants in rows--sort
of like cranberries. Then I see the cows (3) between us and the fence;
there are two bulls, in single file. I tell the man not to run because then
the bull will run. We run anyway and when I look back the bull is right
behind us. It is so close it is a blur like the side of a bull. It is
light tan like a Guernsey. Then the bulls are walking on their back feet
and have one horn on the fronts of their faces like unicorns but the horns
are giant like white traffic cones and they can hardly see around them.
They try to pull them off with their front feet. When they stand up they
look like my ex-boss Al Stephens in stretchy terrycloth bull suits. When I
think this, Al picks me up in his arms like a little kid. Then we forget
all about it and walk through the craft fair after crossing the fence.
11/11/86 (Veterans Day) I dream I'm in high school or college carrying
books and leaving my house or apartment; which is at the top of a lot of
steps. As I leave, two men (Don Six and Don Ross) duck in and ask if I'm
going to tell the police they're there. I say no; I'm not happy. I get the
feeling they get my house and I'm in Vietnam--they switched me with them and
the valley looks suspiciously like a cemetery. I go down all the steps very
fast and hide in a shed at the bottom which looks like the Larch house when
I go in but has a dirt floor. Out one door, which is a hole in the wall,
open--I see an old man raking up hay to sleep on. There is nothing in my
shed and I sit down by the wall. Out the other door, Ray Radke is trying to
move his brother Joe to another place. It is impossible for any of them/us
to escape. It seems that someone is saying this and laughing. The I
slide down a slide into a pool of water and think I'm going to drown. Rich
people with a top of the ground pool. While I'm in the shed, a couple come
along (woman looks like Mary Jane). They are rich, the "narrator" comments
on the way the man rides his bicycle, they are both children at the time. I
walk with them up a steep footpath to the top and she talks about how he was
"executed for his crimes." It seems like she's talking about one of them
(the four soldiers) and now I think she's talking about Jesse James. The
feeling in the dream from the beginning is sadness and fear. I get the
feeling that they tricked me in the beginning (because they are laughing and
waiting outside the door and push past me) so I end up in Vietnam. I am
afraid to try to repair the broken wall in the shed because the enemy are
outside and I don't have a gun or even a book to read, and I don't want to
go out in the open where they would see me. The house across the valley,
that reminded me of a cemetery or rice paddy has windows all along the whole
side with light inside (it is dusk or dawn). The windows are opaque but
seem to be made of paper or wood like Japanese houses. Finally I sit down
on the floor, which is dirt. Then I look
out the other door and see Ray
Radke bending over Joe in another doorway. They are out in the open and
sure to get shot.
Dream Early 80's I go to a little house in the woods, it reminds me of
the evil house in fairy tales and I'm apprehensive. It has a moldy,
deserted look that old people's houses have that die and their houses are
deserted. I go inside and look around and almost sit down on something.
Then I see that it is an old woman's body that is partly rotted and is
wearing rotted black clothes. All of a sudden the house seems very small,
sort of like a coffin, but there is still a small nook in the corner I can
fit in.
11/17/86 Another dream about the end of the world. This time a bunch of
housewives survive. There are no more deliveries to the grocery stores, and
then there is a recipe fad and everyone uses up all the lemons. A woman
appears and says that someone has to replace the lemons. The way this is
done is by putting a wire colander full of minute rice over the culprits
head and holding a sample of the item that is all gone under the colander
and the person turns into the scarce item. One woman does that to another.
Then an old gray haired woman does it to me. I see how old she is and
decide to beat her up. Then I put it over her head and hold a bottle of
vanilla under there, but it doesn't work. Then I ask the first woman what
went wrong and she says there's a magic spell you have to say. It was too
long and I couldn't memorize it.
11/21/86 Bull Dream We are living in a flimsy little house on Hermosa Strand
where the bike trail splits and goes on both sides of the houses. I go in, am hesitant.
There are cows in the house and in the bathroom are the bull and horse. They
are jammed in there (it's a small bathroom)--maybe drinking water out of the
bath tub with their backs to the door, so I'm not too frightened. I hide very
quietly. They leave out the door and I try to stay calm and clean the floor
but I can't stand it, panic, and have to leave. Outside, they are now up on a
hill with a fence along the edge (south of Redondo Beach pier) above the
bike path. The a man jumps on the fence and taunts them and the bull starts
to step down through a place in the fence he's pushed down. I panic again
a and scream and run to a warehouse with no windows and two rooms; the
first has benches, the other is open on the ocean side and the bull can get in.
I start to run again, then stop and look around. There is a man in a pen full
of many pigs and he's shooting them randomly with a rifle (to the left). Ahead
is a small bull--the bull's son. He's reclining and someone says it's okay to
touch his penis. I turn back, but an oriental woman comes in who owns the
bull and says she's not afraid of him; a man at the same time picks up the baby
bull in his arms and carries him away. I go back into the first room and sit on
a bench and watch the two doors anxiously. Finally I wake up.
Around Thanksgiving 1986 I dream I have a 2nd job and have to be at work at
7PM, but I fiddle around until a quarter till and then decide to drive really fast
(I have an automatic in the dream). Then, as I pass the house after backing
out the driveway, a girl who was standing by the road hitchhiking is suddenly
inside the car even though I didn't stop; it gives me a start. I decide to be
aggressive and say, "how did you do that?" I am afraid she's a ghost. Then
I have to get a very small elephant that swam across the river and then the
elephant acts like it is going to buck me off. It gets to the store and the
black guy who was leading the elephant turns out to be Gary Coleman. He
lets me off at the door and puts the elephant with the carts in the cart rack.
I go inside (Sears) and all the way to the back to the room where I worked
as a maid in my last dream, so I turn around and go on where I left off.
This is a man giving a lecture on how to sell mattresses. The mattresses
are used but have new covers; since the mattresses are old and have
shrunk, the covers are baggy and the salesman shows how to hold them so
they will look good on a TV commercial. Then there's a long pole with a
hook for opening cupboards up by the ceiling. The one I have is more like
a grappling hook on a chain and I can't get it to work. Then I start to get
a funny feeling about this "Sears" because they are unloading used clothes.
Then someone asks me a question about my present job--John Crawford, the
supervisor, put a mesh thing like a cattle crossing in the hallway and people
were falling through it. There was something about burning asphalt--he was
burning them down there or something, like the Devil. Then I thought, this
couldn't be Sears if they are selling used stuff and I woke up.
12/13/86 A man and I are walking and someone yells at us--maybe says,
"why don't you go to a motel?" He drags me to a motel and slaps down
a $100 bill on the counter and we're in room 324G. On the way to the
room we go shopping and the pants are all messed up--people have
tried on all of them, but they have the wrong tag, which I knew but the
shoppers coming along don't know. Then there's a pub sort of restaurant
on the shore and the teenagers are talking about a revolution. Then one
teenaged girl is hanged from a For Sale sign; she was standing on a
wall and then dropped and was twitching with a rope around her neck.
Then a balding guy, very muscular picks her up and sits her on the wall.
I finally start looking for the room again where several members of my
family were, but there was a pile of people on the bed about 4 feet deep
I think were the ghosts of people who had slept in the bed before;
there was quite a pile of ghosts. Then I wake up when I find a bathroom
and sit down.
12/22/86 I dream I'm at Dad's house but there is a table in front of the
window with mail on it. There were some cards for me. The anniversary
card was a man carrying a woman dressed in white like a wedding
dress and had several pages of text. Then it turns into a field with a
road and the man was carrying the woman along the road. Then a
bunch of bandits seize them and carry them into the woods. I am with
one man and leader in one clearing and the woman is with the men.
The leader shows that the seat of his pant is wet and poor people have
to sit on the ground. Then I see the woman being sodomized and
screaming and I think she will soon be dead and run away in panic.
Then I find another group of young men with guns; they all crawl up
in one tree like the wolves in the Wolf Man's dream (like birds roosting).
I run and pass a beach where people are changing clothes in
booths; soldiers are all around me on the sand and the enemy are
chopping off one arm of each at the shoulder and they are all over
the sand. Then I'm in a house, which is middle-class or gentile
Irish and I'm pacing the floor because I expect someone to come
kill everyone soon (like everywhere else). But when there's a
knock at the door, it is a troubador and the woman who lives there
is looking up the Union scale for troubadors in her book. It was
going to be expensive because it was Sunday. The house is very
long and seems to go on through centuries because the next
room has ballustrades or stone balconylike walls, but on the ground
floor like in warm Italian cities. The man there was wearing ornate
Shakespearian clothes and the spaghetti is like strings of beads
on the floor. I don't go any further (wake up). Then later I am back
on the shore and now the fallen soldiers are skeletons with one
skeleton arm chopped off at the shoulder beside them. These
were all over the sand stretched out straight on their backs. Then
I see an old house that seems to be in the country. A family is
moving in very fancy furnishings like velvet and grandfather's clock.
The grandmother takes a fishtank and the water flies up in the air.
A man asks her what she wants to carry (she was already carrying
a humanly impossible load--several boxes, fish tank, grandfather's
clock and a bunch of velvet) and she says, "an umbrella." The
water from the fish tank is falling back down on her. Then it's night
and it has snowed, looks like Albuquerque from Sandia Peak
across the desert. Everyone goes to bed and I'm up alone and
Indians come in to kill everyone. I am crawling up the stairs
with them and hear, "there's a light in there." I get to the top and
kick the first one in the face; he falls down the stairs and stabs
and injures four others. I turn off the lights and look out the
window nervously.
2/26/88 A man and woman handcuffed together -- "the two visitors." Something grabs the man
and starts cutting around his chest or his back. Then cleaver down each side of the spine and
all that is left is the head and a skeleton spine. Voice says, that takes care of the two visitors.
3/31/88 I dream several days that a woman is diagnosing my health, I'm skeptical. I'm walking
through a strange town and have to run away from someone. Then I'm looking at a park and fog
is coming in - about 4-5 feet above the ground. Looks like Jim Thorpe Park in
Hawthorne/Lawndale on Prairie Ave. I don't want to get my hair wet in the fog. Then a short
kidlike being appears who is scary. I run three different ways, but they are dead ends. Then a
man says, climb up here, and we climb up into a small room. The kid appears up there also. It
looks like a space ship in this small room. I look around desperately for a piece of metal to
stab the kid, but I'm paralyzed and he comes over next to me really fast and sticks my finger in
his mouth. His teeth are very even, but very sharp. Then he tells me what is wrong with my
health while my finger is in his mouth. I am very alert. He says I need a hysterectomy. I think,
"no" and he seems to read my thoughts and changes it to liver damage (which I was thinking
about that day because Mr. Jaffre died of allergy medicine) and that I should eat less often. I
think, "no" to this too because I am on a diet right now and don't eat much, but maybe later in
my life. I drag my finger out and look at it to see if it is bitten off -- the teeth are incredibly sharp
-- panic and want to run to an emergency room. I think I'm awake. Then the kid goes to the
other side of the small capsule -- very black hair. It says, how old do you think I am. I say,
eight or nine, to annoy it. It snaps, I'm 222 and you won't live that long. Then he says that he
ate the pieces of metal that are missing from the wall. It looks like wallpaper now and he tried
to chew that to prove it. On the way to the capsule, I pass through a big room that a voice says
has been rented to a women's clinic. The carpet is gray like at work, but the furniture is gone
like everyone moved out. The carpet appears to be soaked with a lot of blood, a
slaughterhouse. A woman is defecating on the dirt in the tiled atrium where the plants grow in
the lobby. [I developed gallbladder pain that requires me to eat low fat, not spicy foods -
gallbladder is located in the liver. My mother had a hysterectomy in 1987. I told two co-workers
this dream in 1989 and Denise transferred to Hughes where in 1994 a Hughes employee shot
several coworkers when his disability was cut off when he reached retirement age.]
4/3/88 I go to spy on some factory workers. They are working in a corn field. It's dark. I go
through a tunnel to the edge of the field. They might be ghosts and keep working because they
don't know they are dead. It's very sad. They sense me and chase me. There's a big fire and
their factory might burn down. I run away with them close behind. I slide back down the tunnel.
Then I'm riding down the highway on a tricycle with me trying to pedal and a man on the back. I
think maybe the workers were only doing the necessary work or "stamping out fires."
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