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3/28/97 Walking down the freeway. It becomes very torn up -- under construction. It is a deep canyon or ditch with rocks and piles of dirt. I hear people talking about me and go into tn alcove - a list of five things or people retiring. A blond crew-cut guy punches me in the stomach and then stabs me in the leg with a pencil. A voice says, "what did the list say?" I'll never ask that question again.

Working at a computer. A baby boy appears and starts to crawl away. I look back at my book. A voice says, "Sheila!" so I pick up the baby. It turns into a dictionary. Visiting old friends. They are showing videos of the high points of their lives and have cookies under the table. They are getting a divorce. She is keeping the wedding dress - thinks she'll be getting married again. A blond baby girl. The baby across the street is her boyfriend. I follow her when she crawls into the house. She needs two diapers for overnight. Then go to see if the boy baby crawled home okay. Nowhere in sight. A man asks if the babies really need to be watched. I say, "of course!"

4/4/97 Walking through a long building like a train. In the last car a girl takes my red chiffon dress and red heels. I shove her in the luggage compartment and try to run out but a man stabs me in the stomach. I find a car and keys but the man runs alongside. I come to some people along a beach. They tell me everyone is dead, so relax. I look for an empty place along the beach.

4/17/97 Picnic on a hill. My parents are surprised I have a date. My fingernails are painted. I walk down the hill to a hollow tree I live in and look back and there is another Sheila still at the picnic. A mouse carrying macaroni up the hollow limb of the hollow tree.

4/27/97 An art museum. The stairs are all rotten and whole sections have collapsed. At the bottom it looks like a divided highway. One door leads to an alley. A girl shows me the way and I walk through a neighborhood where everything is red bricks on both sides -- very large old buildings close together. The bricks are disappearing and trees growing through. Maybe Ireland. I look up and there is a roof over this whole "ancient" town. Two men are making bricks they say are arsenic and a woman is dying rolls of cloth and yarn for sale.

5/1/97 In a trailer, investigation into my ex-husband from a previous life. He has pieces of paper with different Sheila's names added up with numerology on a table.

Dry area like New Mexico. The water in the stream is imported. Most people moving away.

4/11/97 A saint statue in a garage in Hermosa Beach. Sidewalks torn up. A man takes the term "family jewels" literally and keeps his balls in a leather pouch.

4/21/97 I wake up on the floor in a strange house. The windows are open and I think I'm cold but not sure what season it is. I look out. It's a very nice house and is mine. I wonder if the roof need fixing and if the lawn needs to be mowed.

I walk through the surf and sit down on a flat palm and push off. A voice says, "good." I fly to some satellites in outer space. They are getting overgrown with plants - scratches on them from the interior. I'm hot. Later I try to go again and a voice says, "don't go too far, I'll have to go and find you."

> 3/26/97 I'm outside the F18 building at work and some coworkers come
> along. I follow them through a hole in the fence and lose my shoe. I
> have a key but the key holes are sealed and the doors aren't locked. I go
> through the door and inside is a driveway with a semi-trailer rig in it
> and on the other side, another building. Inside that building is a line -
> seems to be electronics. It looks like plastic explosives, yellow clay
> like stuff. The foreman says something about keeping the positive and
> negative apart. I walk through the room right on down the middle of the
> table the workers are sitting at. The coworkers stop to ask a question of
> the foreman and I run on. I pass a cafeteria where the customers hold
> their chins up funny. I hold mine like that too so they won't notice me.
> Then there is a store selling mattresses in one room and clothes in
> another. Seems like Utah, repressive religious place. I start back
> across the grassy field and a woman comes up and kisses my cheek and says
> I might as well give up (and suicide.) Then a man with a hook comes
> along and says he doesn't want to talk to me because of his wife, but he
> takes me back to the store to look around again. Inside is a black
> baseball hat with a green duck painted on it. Pioneer bonnet. I look in
> the mirror and my face looks Irish. [Heaven's Gate mass suicide -- the
> hat they described on the news was an unusual one with a green duck on
> it.]
>
> 3/28/97 At the beach, I try to get the time from a clock on the side of a
> house and notice blue cloth hanging down from the houses like awnings. A
> blond guy asks if I want to play volleyball. [Suicides in San Diego,
> bodies covered with purple cloth.]
>
> 3/29/97 I'm making a garden at a school. A voice says the best dirt is
> in the margins where the gardens come together, it's a community garden
> plot. So the best ones are in the middle. I get claustrophobic, so mine
> is on the edge. The corn didn't grow very tall, no ears. Potatoes
> stacked on ground and something that looks like a mandrake root. The guy
> in the next plot just digs a trench and waters it -- doesn't hoe the
> ground first. Mom is helping me. I think about how many gardens I did
> for her.
>
> 4/5/97 Kelvin tells me his problems. He has to circumcise his son and
> he's got other sons on the way. His wife wants him to repair things now
> that he's married. He's still in college.
>
> 4/22/97 Box with strange animals in it. Bulls standing on their hind
> legs. I'm chased inside, there are rafters but they can get you down from
> there. Some are much taller. I see it from two angles - inside, the
> movement, dizzy. And from the outside, above. The walls are gray
> concrete curbs. I sit by the wall, look much younger when I look down at
> myself. A man says I can never have a vacation, must come here every day.
> The bulls look like big cats when they stand on their back legs. Muscles
> flex, no fur or maybe butchered.
>
> 4/21/97 Remote viewing -- must be, I can see a scene with my eyes shut.
> Like a movie and then the curtain closes after a few seconds. I see a
> blond girl's face in a bright light, then the light dims. Face turns into
> a tiger.
>
> 4/23/97 Walking somewhere. Have a long walk ahead. Maybe 1000 miles. A
> woman's voice laughing about a Spanish rapist rumor that I told her about.
> The neighborhood instantly turns Spanish -- the beds in a store window
> have red, green and white spreads. Two teenagers talking tough. The
> bartender says that there are chemicals on the coins. People tell me what
> they've been doing. I can see through the wall, I've already gone several
> hundred miles. A freeway, I cut through. My grandmother is sick.
> Sitting on a couch a woman asks how many kids I have, four? I have to go
> to the bathroom. There is no stool in the stall -- just four walls. It
> becomes co-ed and men run in. I realize it is a dream and think, Oh, no,
> I'll wet the bed.
>
> 4/24/97 Walking past the apt. Little kids drawing on sidewalk. Little
> Edgar, the three year old next door. I ask him if he can calm down, he's
> hyper. He says, can you? His head is shaved. Victor, teenager next
> door, has a blond girlfriend and leaves. My neck feels funny. I look in
> the mirror and there is a huge aneurysm the size of an egg on the left
> side of my neck. A girl from my grade school appears -- Karen. I think I
> should go to the emergency room, but what can they do. I'll probably
> never make it.
> I walk very slowly down the stairs - looks like Frye Electronics.
>
> 4/28/97 Very small baby girl, blond, about 8-10 inches tall. I have some
> antiques I give her to play with, ceramics, very pretty. Later she falls
> asleep on the floor. A puddle. I ask her if she sleeps in diapers. She
> says, yes. It's Gram Esther's living room and I think about which of my
> grandmothers I'd want to have as a daughter and maybe things are different
> now and they wouldn't be that bad even if I got stuck with them. I think
> of their names, May, Blanche, Alice, Grace. They all have nice names
> except Blanche, she'd probably like to get a different name. [I found out
> that May's real name was Florence May.]
> I walk through the house all the way to the basement and back to the attic
> where my two sisters and I sleep with my eyes closed. I think maybe I was
> sleep walking. They say it was dangerous. A man wants to do an
> experiment where a tiny one inch cat goes down your throat. A party in a
> big house - Nellie. You have to steam the food you select. Phone call, a
> man says I have to move my car. He gives me a ride. I ask if I parked
> him in, thanks for not calling the police. He says he doesn't have any
> insurance and he should kill me.
>
> 5/6/97 Looking for a record. The performer is dead and is haunting it.
> I'm afraid of fire. My apt looks different. All I have is a table, bed,
> couch. The table and couch are outdoors -- grass under them instead of
> carpet. Very neat and empty.
>
> 5/8/97 Suburban house, nice furniture. There are spiders outside the
> kitchen window. The man is killing them - they are about a foot tall.
> The neighbor woman consoles me. There are a lot of them in one web. She
> says I don't have to kill the one I have by the head.
>
> 5/3/97 A barn like place, the mother dies and the guy gets a blond
> girlfriend. They have a blond teenaged daughter. The boyfriend kisses
> the daughter. This is too complicated. I look over the railing at a big
> Olympic size swimming pool. A blond couple in a red convertible drive
> past inside the pool, which is dry at one end. The guy makes a turn when
> he reaches the shallow end. Then he drives into the deep end and the car
> is completely under water.
>
> 5/4/97 Washing machine, I can't go somewhere because I have work to do.
> Then the clothes turn into paper and I wonder why I'm washing that. A
> horse appears, corral and barn behind me. I go into the barn and the
> horse does. I go out, horse does, but doesn't step on my feet. The horse
> has lost its curry comb so I can't brush it anymore, it will get tangled
> hair. I try to remember if they really have to be brushed.
>
> 5/16/97 I have a bed in an attic. Everything is wood, painted white.
> The bedspread is blue. New kind of pen like a fountain pen.
>
> 5/13/97 A freeway underpass or other clay bank with a hole dug in it or
> caved in. There are nice big quartz crystals in the hole and polished
> balls of red rock. No use picking them up, it's just a dream. Depressed,
> obsessive thoughts, like before. But then I remember it is later in time,
> examine the thoughts, there is something different. The neighbor I never
> met before buys an RV with us and it's at the top of a steep hill so you
> can roll it to get it started. That's not a good sign. I quit my job and
> we leave so fast there is no ice in the coolers. Lots of people. I try
> to find food for them, paper plates plates, plastic forks. There is a man
> across the street calling to me. It must be the neighbor that bought the
> RV. He's not going now. I walk across -- busy highway.
>
> 5/14/97 Two pages of a notebook, a blue one. One page is about the IRS
> and $1000. First one is $100. I visit an old friend. The whole house is
> dark rose pink -- all the walls, the ceilings. I don't look at the
> floors. Everyone is siting at tables reading books, it is a huge house.
> Maybe the Huntington Library.
>
> 5/20/97 [Before I go to sleep, I decide not to write down any more
> dreams - last time I decided this was Aug 29, 1987. The next morning I
> don't have to get up as early because I'm going to a class that doesn't
> start until 8 AM.] I wake up in the dream very disoriented. I dream
> several coworkers have come and dumped me out of bed -- they say I'm late
> for work. I get up off the floor and start getting ready for work. There
> is a baby mouse frozen to the Swanson's breakfast. A big mouse comes out
> of a hole in apt 16 through the wall, white with black spots, looks like a
> guinea pig. Think about writing "trap" on the grocery list. Seems tame.
> I try to put on my make up and get dressed. All my make up is on a sponge
> that I wipe across my face and it's all done at once. I wonder if I
> should use the blue one, there are different colors. I have a metal strip
> across my forehead like Sylvester Stallone's mother. I go in the closet
> and put on some clothes, some sort of Super Woman suit, blue shorts, red
> bra. This won't work for a govt class. I put on a knit suit that looks
> too small and look in the mirror and I'm wearing a denim dress too. I've
> changed clothes several times without taking any off first. Think about
> how I can't change from my thrift shop look. Decide I'm too busy - drop
> the class and stop reading. The coworkers help me make the bed on the
> other side. One woman says I'm okay, even though I feel dizzy. I say
> something about, go away and I'm lowering my expectations. They make fun
> of my make-up but not my clothes. I'm surprised, I'm wearing everything
> in the closet and can't get them off.

> 5/31/97 I pay a little girl's way into a movie theatre. We wait for my
> relatives to arrive. It looks like Albuquerque airport. I look at
> people's clothes as they walk by. The ticket takers recommend movies. I
> get a pain in my foot and a man comes up and kisses it. Bull. The fences
> go in a square like a square knot in the doctor's driveway at Mom's house.
> The bull gets distracted by a cow and I walk to the house. look back and
> the bull is watching me. I look out the window, then I can see through
> the wall and the other Sheila is riding on the bull's back by the well,
> where I was riding on the oriental boy's back in the dream in 1978.
>
> 6/2/97 I go through the louvered windows in the front of the house in
> Lawndale like smoke. Think I must be a ghost. I'm going in where I
> heard the voice when I was trying to contact the plants' devas and heard
> the loud man's voice saying, the killer is here among us.
>
> 6-8-97 I get a job at an employment agency on my day off. Then I
> remember that I already have a job. Boss asks me if I want to take a
> typing test. She is the only employee. I move to a new hill in a big
> green grassy area and look back at the hill where I lived before and the
> other scenery around me. End of a dream -- a ditch at the side of a road.
> At the end there are five dead men on the lawn. Some of them are getting
> dehydrated. All laid out on their backs. [The earliest dream I remember
> (besides the lucid ones) was when I was about three or four, and I dreamed
> that I was running away from home. We lived in Gram's backyard. I was
> going to live in the ditch and I had a pink blanket. When Mom drove us to
> Des Moines to shop, I'd look out the car window and size up the ditch for
> living in. It had erosion from flooding and didn't look very promising,
> too cold.]
>
> 6-16-97 Wake up in a room in the future. There are twin beds and
> buttons on the wall. I go out the door and to an open air market in a
> college mall, looking at foods, books about the clothes - trying to find
> out the new ways. Man with me looking at a book about the tools of the
> future. Back in the room. One of the buttons is a suicide button. This
> looks like science fiction. A patio with trees and a big picture window
> with the view outside which looks like the Moon or New Mexico.
>
> Running away. Warning comes on car dash - "water pump went out, stop."
> I'm coasting down a hill so I can get a little farther even though the car
> says not to. I pull over on the gravel shoulder at a hotel. The phones
> don't work, each wire is connected to a tiny carrot growing in a starting
> flat. They say to just wait, the phones are out of order. I'm sitting in
> the corner on a kitchen chair and make a break for it. Fleeing right
> through the walls it looks like, pieces of wood and fluffy white
> insulation. Very small spaces, then work areas, a kitchen with men
> talking about their promotions, one man retiring. Out the door to the
> roof, snow drifts and ice. More tunnels off the roof. Then I come to an
> abyss, trees far below, miles deep, no chance of climbing down. I am
> desperate after fleeing that far and decide to cross the abyss even if I
> have to jump - it's just a dream but I don't know what will happen when I
> jump. A bridge appears and I cross hanging by my hands. Then there's a
> green cleared strip through a forest. Then a man guarding a room, he
> fathers all the children, he's bragging to me, as I stand there wondering
> what to do next. I notice a cool breeze coming from behind him and see a
> tube covered with a cloth. I run through there before he can stop me. He
> thought the tubes had condoms, some religious belief. If there's air,
> there must be an opening to get out of there. I see an elevator and get
> in, there are two robots in there with me. A voice says to get off where
> they do. I ask if they'll sneak me out, they don't talk. They have a
> very small casket, I have to crouch in it. I'm wearing the shirt I wore
> to bed, pink one. I get off the elevator and stand in line at a counter
> trying to look nonchalant so they won't notice me -- like a deer in the
> headlights. A man hands me a handful of Tarot cards. This is my future
> life bio. There are two names, Calvin and William, maybe the robots'
> names. Alarm goes off, 5 AM.
>
> 7/1/97 A scene superimposed over the old farm. I make some kind of
> adjustment to a machine. A man is driving and the road is flooded. He
> keeps driving (Volkswagen) and the water fills the car. I can't breathe.
> He drives into a tunnel by himself, I watch from the side of the road.
> He's cheerful even though my change caused this. It started out driving
> on a dirt road with shallow tracks through a lawn.

> 8/5/97 The phone rings, it's 7:30. My sweater looks very old. I'm
> walking down the street and there are two men and a woman in a nice car --
> hunters. In the kitchen of the old house. Shots from hunters. A sting
> on my finger. I look at it and there is a drop of water on my left thumb.
> Then I get shot in the left bicep and I think, ouch I need that arm. A
> man mentions the shots going through the windows - have to do something.
> It is a hail of bullets, trigger happy hunters. Outside on the sidewalk.
> The car is above, I listen to their conversation about what hunting
> equipment they need. Then I'm in a warehouse, looks like Australia. The
> animals, males, are standing on their rear legs like statues, one deer,
> one moose. A deer hiding in another building behind some stuff. There
> are so many deer lined up along the wall on their back legs they look like
> a mannequins in a clothing store. The hunters are just hanging around
> this building waiting for hunting season to start. Very pathetic. The
> deer looks like a woman hiding. Some are sick. Some are pregnant. Two
> are laid out on a table like an autopsy with a sheet over it. I peek
> under one sheet, a middle aged man. By the end of the dream when I walk
> through the building again, there are only two deer left alive, then none
> but maybe they went out the door. There is a pile of bodies on the floor,
> they are already skinned, or look a little rotten like they died and laid
> there a long time - leather skin, no fur, or like a slick skinned rabbit
> carcass. The people are very boisterous all around. One guy has a meat
> grinder and sticks my right hand into it up to the wrist and makes a
> sore. He does this because I won't say I love him. [dream after eating
> venison from New Zealand. I was almost afraid to eat the bison and frogs
> legs, but I just dreamed the frogs were sitting on big dinner plates and
> thought they were lily pads.]
>
> 8/6/97 A voice says they're laying off Barbie dolls. I see one. The
> voice says not to let her try on my bra. She is a flat chested doll. A
> trailer, I look at it to move in. It has been hit several times and has
> yellow posts all around it so it can't happen again. One car was being
> repaired and it hit the kitchen and oven -- there's a hole there. The
> walls are wood painted red. There are no parking places left, just in a
> lot nearby. Shirley (sister) is looking at a dress. Her hair is cut
> short in the front and dyed brown instead of blond. She says you can't
> park in the lot if you buy too many clothes or send too many to the
> cleaners I think this is a strange thing for her to say since she has so
> many clothes and shoes she had to move to a bigger house.
>
> 9/14/97 Sandy (sister) driving. She drives off the road and the car goes
> nose down and sinks. Big car like Lincoln Continental or their car Gary
> wrecked -- green '80's Monte Carlo. A boy watching men have sex with a
> woman. She had sex with all men - including her dad. At a women's
> clothing store - a sale. I don't have any money so I just sit. A woman
> shows a tailored sun dress to her husband but it's too easy to tear down
> the front he says. A blond woman with two teenaged daughters puts her
> hand on my back and it vibrates. She asks if they want to go to
> McDonalds. I am too tired to walk, someone goes to pay my gas bill. A
> lot of time passes. Two eight year old boys come and I get up and walk
> with them around a huge lawn. The store closes, the owner says people
> have contributed enough. A man's head cut off. I wake up in the bedroom
> of the apt and there are people, some women talking about what a man gave
> them, a homeless man sitting on the ironing board. I think about how many
> slices of turkey there are, then another man appears, I keep dividing in
> my head how many each will get if I split up what I have. Soon there are
> more people than slices of turkey. Cherries in the freezer, also
> raspberries. They are staying for supper too.
>
> 9/17/97 A library. Some things for sale, computers and tables. A man
> stands in a door, a lecture on ethics. I think that the place will have
> to be remodeled eventually. It's worn out like the benches on the Hermosa
> Pier, a ladder under a burned out street lamp. Chickens fly out.
> [Hermosa Pier was remodeled and it took two years -- reopened 2001.]
>
> 9/18/97 A mall, food court. A girl at the beef booth sells hamburger
> steaks, roast beef and spaghetti with beef and says she's tired, has a
> daughter, and is working slowly. Then her boss yells at her for saying
> that and he takes even more time doing that. As he leaves, she says to
> his back, "you should apologize for that." The girl ahead of me (from
> high school) pretends she's deaf and holds a plate of spaghetti and beef
> right in front of the girl's eyes touching her cheek and says, "can you
> see that?" The line has gotten very long behind me. There is some
> commotion because all the customers start talking and 3-4 bosses come out
> again to tell them to shut up. Another clerk notices that the girl
> pretending to be deaf is talking about the commotion. She says she isn't
> deaf, she has nose damage. She makes me a plate of roast beef before I
> can make up my mind what I want and says, "that's what you wanted, isn't
> it, it's easy to figure you out." She made it during the disruption. I
> take my plate (no tray) outside by the freeway to eat. A three year old
> girl is hanging by her hands from the freeway. The only money I have is a
> gold Kugarand and I wonder if they will cash it.
>
> 9/20/97 Dream I am cold, go from room to room closing windows. The
> windows are in different places in my old room, but are in the right
> places downstairs (at Dad's house.) Then I'm in South America watching a
> procession of figures dressed in white robes. They are wearing masks made
> of white plaster covered with gold dust, marching in rows. Then they are
> massacred. An old man leads them into an ambush. A few escape for awhile
> and run through dense vegetation. The masks are smiling. The men behind
> the masks try to speak in cultured tones, very intellectual, but I am
> skeptical of their actions towards the populace when they were in power.
> [I read in Fortean Times that some group wants people to collectively
> remote view some Mayan or other religious ceremonies since all the written
> records were destroyed.]
>
> 10/2/97 Holes in the ground with canvas covers with openings for your
> head, like Kleenex box. Mine is coded SA instead of QA. This means that
> I work for Northrop, not the Govt. It is located at Wilkie Way where the
> "timeslip" was with the lake and ducks. Sandy asks me if Anita told me
> something. Air view of two old churches. One is ancient. They are very
> big, thick walls. Down on the ground now, the oldest one is now a museum.
> Inside is a pool - people are really swimming. From the other side you
> can see the mosaic - mainly white tiles. There are food machines and
> pamphlets in the lobby.
>
> 10/7/97 A baby. Perfect little fingernails. A girl, she's only one but
> is talking about something. Blond hair. I hold her little hands. She is
> talking better than a four year old and I get confused. I get a job
> working for Mike Tyson. He gives me some shampoo he uses (from his
> bottle) to make my hair more curly. First he tells me to curl it and I
> tell him I can't, my shoulder is frozen up and my hair is too curly
> already for a permanent. The shampoo is pink. He also says to wear
> shorts and gives me a pill that looks like black tar so I'll smile more.
> I guess I'll be working at ringside and can't picture that but he says
> I'll be his advisor or some kind of manager. He has a gap between his
> front teeth, I notice as he talks. I think about how I used to have a gap
> between my front teeth before the dentist fixed it, they can't fix adults'
> teeth, have to snip a tendon behind your top teeth. I don't like the
> shorts or drug either but tell him I'll go home and look for some suitable
> shorts -- red ones. If I'm his agent, I'll get 10-15% and I think in the
> dream that this is $1.5M and I won't have to go to my regular job and
> maybe I can do it. But I'm vaguely opposed to violent sports. A guy from
> high school, Steve Davis, walks in and I'm shocked to see him - this is
> the second dream he's been in. In the other one, he walked past me on the
> street and didn't speak to me. He must be working for Mike Tyson too -
> keeping the books or something. I remind him that I sat next to him in
> physics and chemistry, but wonder why I said that, I didn't take
> chemistry. He says he never sat next to me. I think, you asked me to the
> prom, though, didn't you. Must be mad at me. I went to the prom by
> myself but Linda Arnold and I left with Mark Piatt. I go out. The yards
> look like Des Moines with clapboard houses and five steps and a sidewalk
> in front of the houses. My apt is about a block away and has a blue door
> and floor to ceiling windows. Stuff laying around I don't have time to
> look at. This is much nicer than my apt, maybe I already work for him.
> Someone tells me to stop looking for my red shorts, I don't have to work
> for Mike Tyson. I wonder if he's obsessed with me and I'll have to
> stay inside and hide.
>
> 10/27/97 Looking in the window of a mansion, then I'm inside. Looks like
> France maybe. Our boss is a redhead. I'm sitting at a desk. There are
> kids but no one takes care of them, they are left alone. In a different
> house, with bunk beds crowded in. I'm moving out. My sister has girdles
> and bras matched up by color in her closet, my clothes are gone. She says
> they're in a box, but there is just a list on a piece of paper in there
> and a CD. They threw my clothes away because I was gone five months. I
> go downstairs and there is a dog and a two year old girl with curly black
> hair. She looks like the manager's daughter, but she's mine and I've let
> them adopt her. They have a dog and I have one. I am wearing platform
> sandals.
>
> 11/7/97 Red chenille sweater. I'm in a bathroom and one toilet is full
> and I'm afraid to flush it because it looks ancient -- sludge. I think
> she washed out the sweater in the toilet. A meeting around a table.
> Another woman named Sheila seems to be the CEO, wearing a gray blouse. A
> man has to be restrained and get a shot. They stick pins in his hands,
> big gouges, trying to find a vein, I think. I take the syringe away from
> the doctor and it turns into a knife blade with a hook like a Swiss Army
> knife and sinks into my thumb. Thumb hurts. [scratch on my scar when I
> wake up.]

> 12/8/97 In a car. Stop for a roast beef sandwich on a hillside. Walk
> down a hill. Throw mud at two men riding horses and they cross the road.
> Big trees. One, two, three. I hide behind one. Girl comes along and
> says guy's fingerprints didn't match but she'd keep them in her file.
> Trailer, rain, fancy bathroom -- one room never used, all the fixtures
> perfect and new looking.
>
> 12/17/97 At a woman's house. She is middle aged and has a lot of pets.
> They are in a fence but one gets out and rubs against my ankle. They look
> like beanie babies, puppies, hamsters, then birds -- in a central area in
> a wire area, keep changing. I am looking around the house. The woman has
> hundreds of kids too, she takes in 2-3 at a time to see the pets. Then
> I'm filling out forms at a counter in an employment agency. Two young
> girls with long brown hair run it. The forms are multi-part and one part
> is pink. One doesn't apply. A woman takes a job and doesn't have to pay
> $5 to fill out a form anymore. One girl talks about how bad it is to work
> at a hospital - she took one of her own agency's jobs. She calls the guy
> beside me "Eddie." He puts my hat on my head, I take it off and he keeps
> putting it back on. Finally I throw it on the ground and the alarm goes
> off. I have to write a name on the pink form and want to write "Morty"
> but I write "Marty." I can't remember his last name and the man says
> "Martinelli" but I think "martini." [Some businesses are/were charging to
> fill out employment applications.]
>
> 12/20/97 A new cubicle or else I cleaned mine up. The floor is bare
> right up to the walls. There is a niche in the wall with water in it. I
> think it's a leak and think "oh, no" but there are fish swimming in it --
> minnows. They even have a fish escalator to go up a thing like an air
> shaft in a pyramid. Spider web near the floor with a big diamond caught
> in it.
>
> 12/22/97 A new house. I park with one wheel up on the bricks that edge
> the lawn. It's my lunch break. Planted there are bedding plants with
> metal stilts for stems -- like Dali. Metal animals on the bricks.
> They've been there a couple of months but I never noticed them. Mattress
> on the floor by the door, looks like one room, like a motel. Then I'm on
> a bike on the freeway on-ramp but it looks like Interstate 35 or 80 in Des
> Moines. I stay on the shoulder and I'm going 65. There is a stick of
> incense on the front of the bike that gives me strength. Then I'm talking
> to a man about Cliff notes for an English class.
>
> 12/30/97 Walking with a group of kids. Another kid and I get separated
> from the group. There are two roads. A bunch of kids with a teacher are
> on the left so I ask them if they passed anyone. No. So we go straight.
> The number of cars increase in that direction (street was empty.)
> Construction on the side of the road. A man falls, killed I think. The
> metal beams I'm walking under get closer and closer to the ground until
> you'd have to crawl. Some people are inside the beams.

> 6/22/97 A girl in a tank of water. Breaks and she floods out. Staying
> in a room beside a blond girl's -- new curtains and rugs. Very green
> outside large windows, a ditch with vegetables growing.
>
> 6/25/97 Two rooms -- like in an office building. One is personal apt of
> the Queen of England. Looks just like her -- short. I try to figure out
> how to curtsey.
>
> 6/29/97 Housesitting. I see a woman and two kids (boy and girl about
> five) -- a man gets in and woman behind the counter/mirror tells him to
> put a knife to my throat. She gestures across throat. The owner's mother
> shows up, knocks, climbs in window onto couch. The owner doesn't give the
> man away. Henry Morgan is in the kitchen -- drank almost a gallon of
> wine.
>
> 6/30/97 A little girl with dark hair, crossing a river. I think she'll
> get mud on her white socks. The river gets very narrow at the end. Go to
> work. My job is stacking things in the attic (bags of cement, paper
> towels). The cement is very light like styrofoam chips. Fast food place
> with four colors of beads for astroturf.
>
> 7/7/97 A computer message. Secret code, voice says it took someone a
> few minutes to break it. The first part of the message says that someone
> is working against some woman. A conspiracy or just they have something
> against her. Indian artifacts, a silver feather. Farms. This is on her
> new job she just started -- Angela Debruhl and Alex. I walk through Gram
> H basement door to the outside -- something is in the basement, but I
> don't check. Outside a path to the creek, nice path, a voice says, that
> way. I thought it was the opposite way. Packed bare dirt between green
> areas. My aunt Dorothy and Gram H are carrying an armload of flesh color
> clothes. A man filling out a job application -- one question about
> children, says he has a phobia about babies' bibs.
>
> 7/13/97 A man drags a blond woman through the ocean by a rope around her
> waist. Then the waves wash her into a concrete wall. She swims the other
> way -- a powerful swimmer. I go to where she is on a boat to get her out
> of the water. The man is tall, hairy chest, says something about the way
> he likes his women. She gets the rope off, walks along the shore. At the
> beginning we're both swimming, but I get a boat -- too far out in the
> ocean.
>
> 7/15/97 The land behind Shirley (sister) house is bare, red, eroded. In
> the dream I explain that it's been mined. This is on the side where the
> river really is. I go on around the hill. The old garden by the driveway
> -- vegetables a little rearranged. Short rows of corn, the strawberries
> on the opposite side and all rotten and under water. Potatoes switched
> with where the corn was. Like looking in a mirror sort of.
>
> 7/19/97 Pushing the car home down Marine. Buy a bicycle with gears -- a
> man says a lever is missing. When I'm too exhasted to push the car
> anymore it's a garage sale and the guy also fixes bicycles. The gears fly
> apart when he takes something off. The bicycle starts like a motorcycle
> -- kick foot lever but it doesn't have a seat -- like scooter or
> skateboard. [engine went out on car driving down Rosecrans in August 97.]
>
> 8/2/97 A meeting at work. A woman tells me I should show my waistline
> in my new green skirt because it's going to get bigger later. A man with
> asthma (breathing loudly) runs past in the alley. A man in a desk says
> he's 51 not 47 like the other people in his class. I'm sitting on a tall
> barstool higher than the people in folding chairs, holding my panties on
> my lap.
>
> 8/4/97 Garage sale in Palmdale, secretary leaving. Lots of clothes
> she's just giving away. Most of the drawers are empty. Behind a wall is
> a notebook with notes for second jobs she was getting (Sears, etc) and
> several yellow slicker sets, boots, pink jingle bells and other beads.
> Outside there is a pool of water you have to walk around with lots of
> plants. there are blue and white plates that kids are playing on in the
> distance. They look like giant dinner plates or water lilies, wakes me
> up. [after eating frog's legs] Cows in barn, I run through a stanchion
> (there's only one free) and think about it closing on my neck like on the
> cows' necks and wonder if the bull is there somewhere. I'm enrolled in
> two classes, a chiropractor is there, one is accounting and the other one
> is writing. Poop on my sheets, I finally pooped the bed in a dream -- no
> time, I just hide it. Hard to walk, it is a long way to class. Man asks
> if I have my $20 -- I check and have a couple of $1. There are several
> people walking on a narrow dirt path along a ridge overlooking the town.
> The books are free.
>
> 8/21/97 A pen full of pigs. A school -- teacher showing a movie. In
> another room are boys buying a table with lights attached. One boy has a
> big piece cut out of his arm. His arm is skinny to begin with. It
> doesn't seem to hurt. A man in bed, someone fell on him. He asks, why
> does the word symmetry come to mind? I'm on a fluffy white something like
> a pillow or cloud overlooking a cliff. A man is taking out the garbage
> below. It looks like a campground with streams -- early morning. It
> looks like miles to the garbage cans. Very green. Then I'm driving out
> of a prison compound with dry brown grass. I turn the wrong way but the
> guards come to help. I ran over a woman's shoe -- hard to drive in
> dreams. Good thing it came off her foot.
>
> 8/24/97 A valley and hill in Albuquerque. A kid has died and is looking
> for a cemetery he likes but this one is in a valley and you can't see very
> far. He looks at several graves already dug and looks around to see if
> maybe he's mixed up and standing in a grave, not a valley. Also at a
> mausoleum -- looks like a metal box. He's afraid they'll sell out before
> he can get one -- a lot of people dying, baby boomers. I get lost and end
> up on top of a building and look over the edge. Too high up to get down
> that way -- metal edge so you can't sit on it -- spikes and broken glass.
> A lot of teenagers. It is a school. I'm angry and a man meets me and I
> take both his hands and shake them. He moves his hands out to the side
> and when I shake them, my shoulders get weak. He says, good. My step
> mother talking about her bruised or broken ribs and what to wear over
> them.
>
> 8/25/97 Tarot cards, very confusing like two dreams at once. Someone
> else is doing theirs at the same time. I decide not to do them after 10
> PM. I think about it and that would mean I couldn't do them in dreams if
> I didn't go to bed before 10 PM because I get up before that. Working at
> McDonnell Douglas, first day. Lots of men, the end of the day. I help
> load pillows on a pallet, also some green necklaces. I'm an intern. A
> man is driving the interns to their cars. There are pallets of stuff
> stacked in the parking lots and bulls running between the cars. I'm in
> lot three. A fancy luncheon, colonel's secretary getting dressed, is in
> her slip. I try on two blouses -- tight one with flowers and a
> turtleneck. Then there are people getting off a ship on another
> continent. they have a dolphin or fish as big as a person and a big dead
> animal and I start a meal cutting the fish across the back -- easier than
> butchering the animal. Huge animals, I can only see their muzzles, come
> up behind the people across the fire from me and pick them up in their
> mouths. Then a giant man picks up a girl by one arm. Some other gods
> come -- young ones -- girl dressed in a short white dress. The man god
> asks, what's he doing here? Woman says, Manitou wants to talk to him
> about his evaluation and they leave.
>
> 8/29/97 Walking through a cemented in area of a warehouse. A girl
> talking about her clothes. Dirty dishes all over from various meals.
> Post office, I'm mailing tootsie pops with names on them. An old lady
> takes some after they fall on the floor and hides them in her coat. A
> long hall. [woman mailed out poison in vitamin capsules -- but someone
> saw her filling the capsules at a desk in the post office and questioned
> it.]
>
> 8/30/97 A school yard, kids playing games in groups. A woman wearing a
> bikini. Soccor, skateboard ramp to the ocean. A man talking about his
> wife's big breasts -- cantaloups.
>
> 9/6/97 Walking through a field on a road -- I went the wrong way and
> have to backtrack. Think about cutting across a valley -- the road goes
> around the hill. I crawl up and look over the top of the hill and there
> is a river down there. Several people tell me it's the San Antonio and
> some other river merging. Then I'm near Mom's old house -- overlooking
> Stewerts field to the river where I saw the cigar shaped UFO when I was
> about 7. I turn off and ride on a new trail across the corn field towards
> the river. Pedestrian and bike paths keep crossing. I'm on my old green
> bike. There is a diarama in a glass case like a pinball machine. A boy
> in the corner peeing, just put his penis away. Is some scene, I can't
> concentrate wondering about the pee. Then two cases with glass doors and
> layers. A voice says to look in there to see your future. I look in and
> it's like a funhouse mirror I think. First I see an old lady in a pink
> suit and hat or a pink dress. Then it's me but I'm wearing a white dress
> with ruffles all over it in layers. Very low cut neckline to waist. I
> look several times wondering if it will show other dresses, but it is
> always that one. I have curly dark hair. Red wagon, the box it came
> in empty except for pictures of Superman. Angel dolls in the window.
> Four or five stuffed ones -- pink faces, white lace. One is older -- has
> a pink dress. Looks like a middle-aged angel.

9/7/97 River in Van Meter flooded but the water is clear like ocean water.
Water over the plants and fences--up to the road. Different car; full of
stuff. House where I stayed; keys are locked in trunk I think I try to call
Auto Club for a tow truck but when I ask the name of the town the residents
tell me the Highway is Charing Crossroads and won't tell me the real name.
One street, I look at the street sign myself--DeVry. Man says the name is
crossroads because they meditate there.
10/17/97 A little girl with a yellow chick; she sits still and it comes up
to her. A girl I babysat; there's a dingo in the room that used to bark and
try to get away but now it likes me and stays when I call him when he was
running to the door. A man with a tube that projects a hologram of the
globe. Most of the countries are red; the end of the tube goes up my skirt.
Then it is the girl and the chick. Girl I babysat remembers me--says after
me it was Bonnie. Globe turns into small plane; phone call from Palmdale.
10/19/97 May, a psychic advisor in Clinton, Iowa, tells me two girls told
her their dreams about school. A kid wants to shoot his machine gun
somewhere. He's already gotten mad and pulled the trigger at his girlfriend,
but it was empty. Hunters run out of ammo, they had four rounds and are in a
lake. My sister wearing a yellow dress, I hug her and tell her everything
will be okay. A tall blond kid in his room, says a woman touched him. A
voice says that more fat women become schizophrenic when they get old.
English teachers under "Cadillac" in the Yellow Pages.
10/20/97 I'm working as a temp at a church while the pastor and his family
are on vacation. They have a gift shop that sells cards. There's one about a
frog with a long complicated verse inside and the other one is a humorous
one -- fuck life twice or some such philosophy. They heal people at this
church and two girl clerks and some boys orient me. The main tenants of
the church are "Save Maria's" and a healing ceremony with sunflowers. One of
the girls starts the ceremony out on the patio. The congregation are on the
lawn. The couple comes back from vacation. The walls are more flimsy now
because I put up more cubicle walls while they were gone. I spent the whole
time building and hanging up art and the kids did the regular work. They
have some magic liquid called "Canada" or "Canola" that they put in drinks
and the gas tanks of their cars. I leave trying to figure out what the real
term is supposed to be -- Hail Mary. A man says I lost touch with the 60's
-- Tarot cards, which the Sun and pentacles cards apply here. It does not
affect the sand; heat--a garter around a leg--black. Compare ice cream four
different years; men's pants pockets, not much difference. A man on a diet,
too strict. Other girl needs a shot in her head before exercises. Have
returned because of the clouds, a black girl's voice. Circumstances prompt
me to write a book. No number assigned to the natural disaster--deep mud. A
haunted house. I am thinking about November, a voice says, "no, December."
10/25/97 Excavation in a gas station; hills of dirt. A man pushes my car
over two ruts and into the station building. The gas station is going to
blow up and I wonder what I can do, because the bulldozers are going to
break the gas lines. There are 3 other men in the building; I'm sitting on a
stool holding my red drawstring pants that make my hips look big. Wearing
just a shirt. Lito asks if I'm going to get indecent. Introduces me to a man
named Chris Alporque. He's a man at work I've never seen. Driving fast; the
car is a good one, BMW or something; dies in sight of Booneville--I think a
UFO made the car die. There are three men; one asks what I'm going to do to
him. [In 1978 I was walking by the Federal Building before I got a job there
and was thinking that I could make a car die by looking at it--a car with 3
Middle Eastern looking men did die right in traffic! They got out and put up
the hood and were acting completely stumped why it happened and they looked
at me so I walked away quickly. I was thinking what if you did that on a
freeway and caused a pile-up?] Voice sounds familiar--some Navy man, can't
place it. Another man pushes a baby carriage and hits the BMW. Work scenes,
Juanita does to my computer through incompetence; Gus cleans out files and
makes joke about a big heavy box of mandatory inspections (it's a small box,
they don't have them); Nellie says she's retiring and leaves. Colonel tells
me she says that every week to get an afternoon off with her daughter. A
trampoline; I jump on it--fun, also some exercise. I stole it from Dad;
can't remember how I got it on the plane (really a gun). Going on a boat
ride with my boyfriend; this is why I'm afraid of river/dirty water. Water
is really clear, but scummy. He isn't proposing to me, I've been

waiting.
Have to change clothes to portage because the water is only 2 feet deep
through a tunnel out of the dam. I think I've drowned because he has a
phobia about getting wet--drops of water on his clothes but the guard brings
a rifle. He is talking about a safari he was going on to two of his friends.

10/26/97 A room that is a freezer; defrosted; red walls; students working
there, then Pam is. It's on a hillside in Hermosa, Valley Park. Blue dish
towels, extension cords, broom. People see UFOs then disappear; there are
several waiting for their dad to come home on a boat (woman and boy). Woman
jumps off one boat into the water; boy follows her in a dinghy and a girl is
still on the boat. Flat boat; storms coming--waiting for them. I'm washing
the globes that go over light bulbs and find 3 chocolate chip cookies; still
crisp even in water. I'm leaving and say goodbye to a thin sick boy throwing
up in a bathroom. I put on a size 7 and think it will be too small. That's
all I have. There were spontaneous rig riots at a march of women and 54
Harrods jars taken from one woman's house (in China).
11/2/97 I borrow Dad's white truck (in the dream) and drive to Eureka. It's
high--drives through water. A little house with vines, gate. I get a little
bomb from a policeman. He says it is nerve gas. I wonder how I'm going to
get rid of it--concrete, hole in ground. Hide it under seat. A man drives up
and parks beside me; man drives a truck. He sees it and the crystal ball I
put under the seat and runs away. I'm by the back door of the apartment
building--have two thermoses. It's raining and filling them. Two keys. One
split and bent. Other one has tape on it. Truck is tow truck. Dad's is
parked in about #23 or #24 space. Then I drive through a landscape to New
Mexico and there are very beautiful glittery houses. They look like
castles--all unusual. A car buried in snow. Three like churches, one has
pink poles for the balcony. One like a box. Now a high rise bar like Las
Vegas; everyone disappears--one woman to the 7th floor, one to 1st; I think
they've all gotten married and left me (my mother and sisters). There is a
museum with a yellow buffalo.
11/8/97 Pee smell coming from shower; boy dumps on more dirt. Bare along
wall from rain falling off roof. Wash my face, man puts his arm around me. A
black car rolls down the hill, steep, hits a soft black dirt bank and stops
at the bottom. Becky Allen, said I was a witch in grade school; says I have
a pimple on my chin, I do when I wake up. Gold socks. Swimming pool; I fall
in, very deep.
11/9/97 Chocolate recipe uses several forms of chocolate--must be fudge. Kid
eating a peanut butter sandwich; threw his food away--I make him tell his
mother. Moving his lips, I can't hear him. There was a picture of a man in
white on the back of the box.
11/11/97 A soldier asks me if I want a little area that has a concrete
border around it; vomit on ground I have to clean up. My pink coat is
wet--put it on and it seems dry--hand grenade. A man talking about sex
according to military regulations. A woman named Rosie; a baby reaching
towards some plants in a window. then a list of places that are tourists
attractions--historical. Some are hiring; one says, interview $60. A guy
telling 3 lies he tells women; one is that he gave them an abortion. A
yellow sweater with blue faded on it making green--crocheted from rags.
11/10/97 Walking along river; go around block; a concrete tunnel; has
explosives and a bugging device. Records what I say. Junk laying on ground
in tunnel; bugging device is on extension cord.
11/12/97 A wedding, the dress is white knit with lace and small straps and
buttons down front. Pleats on top maybe. Woman with short red hair is
getting married; a river, pretty wide. I look for a bridge, wood one. Room
where I take a shower and get dressed; walk along the river. There are
patios and windows viewing the scene.
11/23/97 My period, give my pills away; flush toilet which has hot water;
curling my hair, waves. A woman asks what I'm going to do next then says,
"but you've only got six months to live." Cooking turkey, the stuffing.
11/22/97 Crack in the floor of a tall building is wider; earthquake--the
walls fall in. Quicksand. I go the wrong way--water gets deeper--going into
ocean. Pellets hitting me in the back.
11/26/97 Red linoleum floor; caves in in places; the chimney (metal) falls
through the floor in the kitchen--seems spongy, gives. First the chandelier
stops working; people dancing. On the ledge are a bowl of rice pudding and a
cup of milk; it looks like the cats didn't eat it; snow on balcony; my
vegetarian cookbook on the floor. Lists of how I think things are on one
side and how they really are on the other. Some things are changes or things
people had suggested for changes. One is making all the students
secretaries, or leaving them where they are.

11/27/97 (Thanksgiving) Someone drives me to work; it's personnel, then I
drive to Plant 1--it says Property over the building. There are big green
lawns, plenty of parallel parking; playgrounds. Inside the building, Jesse
calls in sick for Monday, it's Friday; he says all the work came at once on
the computer and he's exhausted. I ask how his daughter is; her name is
Ginger but they call her BB or CC; she's beautiful. My sister takes the
phone, she thinks I'm talking to Jessie, our niece. Picnic table with two
glasses.
11/29/97 Walking with a guy shorter than I am; lock him in a room and run
away. Looks like a party; I take the bedroom curtains for cleaning; exit is
through a lobby with guards; looks like a bank. They tell me about something
that happened inside. Shooting? Moving all the bedroom furniture into the
living room; bedroom may be damp from excessive rainy season. Dates,
November 4th became 7th or 7th the 10th because of calendar change.
11/30/97 Camping or living in woods; I have to go to the bathroom; it is
miles. There is a trailer park with outhouses ahead. Blood on toilet seat. A
man serves quail for supper; you can eat two--he puts pork chops, black
stuff called.... Two quail will fill you up; chicken has been marked down.
Movie of me, very red hair, buckskin fringe saying goodbye to a man with a
baby carriage. Then I return, gesturing a lot, fringe flying out from my
arms. Then I have the baby carriage; boy--wants to get out; put socks on
first; has dog too, I have to catch him--I grab his tail. In weeds by the
river. Woman talking about how she was crazy twice--then got jobs when she
got out, one at Norton. Girl with oval glasses asks if I could possibly be
happy. Look in mirror; I have curly hair, taller, blond--then hair straight,
ear length. Apartment has stained glass windows, antique sewing machines and
fancy candles; a ghost. Some women leave saying that the trial will be over
and he'll be executed by the 4th and they'll take the antiques. The stained
windows go all the way to the floor on the 2nd story--you can't fight and
shove each other across the room in here. Faded brown plaid under the
window.
12/5/97 I walk from work with Nellie. We slide down a hill, long walk; guard
at bottom. We go through two collectible towns, one is Indian looking. She
cuts off too much of my hair and I yell at her that she's stupid and she
says she has a degree in ancient Indian studies applied to modern times.
There is a free newspaper on the ground--PCN like CNN. Then I sit and relax
at a table in a parking ramp. A man was talking on the phone in the phone
booth that also sells soft drinks. A girl asks me how much it is for one
year's tuition at the University of Iowa where I went. It was only $600 in
1969-73. Life is much more hectic working and going to school at the same
time. Maj Basque says that Vivian has been eating and shopping a lot too and
put a lot of miles on the motorcycle. Two men (Raul) are demonstrating a new
toy that looks like a big slinky on a leash. It swallows stuffed animals
like a snake. Raul says the other man is buying it from him.
12/11/97 I'm taking care of a little girl named Theresa. She goes through a
metal plate in the wall down a metal tunnel (size of light socket plate);
and I follow into a rich person's house. The kids are having a kid's party.
Presents. Science projects and paper dolls. It's 11 PM. Theresa isn't ready
for bed, starts running her bath.
12/12/97 Walking from one building to another; a big bull appears at the
corner of the long building as soon as you go out the door. Follows along
the pasture parallel; Linda walks towards him and he runs away. Then I come
out and he comes back. A pile of presents from Lockheed at some speech. A
movie about how to invest; phone call on employee relations. Working at a
New Age place--woman bought 100 of some silver ring with green or mirror
stones; one has a peace sign, one a cross.
12/13/97 At a remote area, rocks. Two men shoot at close range at rocks to
flatten bullets--see which one creates more powder. One powders, one flakes.
In a cube red and blue balls like molecules floating, have to kill a cow the
next day for meat. Good news -- a man in Arizona is doing something.
12/14/97 Talking to a neighbor about the number of trees around our
apartment; some thin saplings lean towards building; he says two. I think
there is a yard in front with them around the fence. Paperboy is $70.
Pictures of Mad magazine on the money; a lot of $10 bills. Old lady talking
about a building for crazy people on a beautiful street--Broadway, has a lot
of metal, not wood; wasted on them. Men talking about who works harder; a
truck load of stuff.
12/15/97 Sandy in hospital; got liposuction. I have tylenol. Her belly
button is on the side; she is hungry--gets bags of junk food and gets back
in bed.
12/20/97 Baby with no socks.
12/21/97 Bill; looks like doll furniture or small cakes, rectangular. Woman
sees chicken thigh on my plate; thinks it is lettuce. She is reading a book
in a window seat; it's about modern India and modern religious practices.
I'm sitting in Grandpa's chair at the head of the table.
12/24/97 At work; cleaning up, piles of towels--garage sale, selling three
records. One is Seven...., Doris Troy song (Just One Look). See Raul
crossing an empty room. Talking to a black woman about her 4-5 kids, job
skills, college; stand in front of a furnace with an oriental guy getting
warm--he says it's 9 and I thought 7 or 8AM. A box of business cards from
Veterans Hospital; Beatrice. Picture of a wedding of very young thin black
couple. I was near the end of the alphabet, it was supposed to be Tracy
Lords or Gold, but they aren't the bride. I look at the attendants and
background; it's from high school; there's an older big guy sitting in the
front at a table. Then walking to F18, all this is a day at work--I take the
3 records. There is a rec center and some very sophisticated people I don't
know. One man takes the Doris Troy record down to the ocean to wash it. More
people arrive; listening to a man talk, I put my hand on a tailored shirt
shoulder, an old man kisses me; then everyone is gone except for a man I'm
sitting on the lap of and a woman on the other end of the couch. He says, I
already know what this is, what I'm supposed to learn. I say, what, that
it's hard to live without a TV? Keep them talking, they're acting crazy; the
woman is rocking and asks if I'm in pediatrics; I say, no, daycare. At Camp
Dodge pool; it is sleeting so I can't swim. May go to a movie, Gallagher.
Woman singing Christmas carols in a long trailer with poinsettias. A monkey
in a cage; peaches with sauce. Row of bathrooms; doors not shut; two little
boys on a bed--one is the size of a fly. I'm studying for a science test;
trying to find a movie to watch.
12/26/97 In New Mexico, looks like Dad's farm. Hiding in the corn from a
crazy woman who throws rocks at her own car. She got out and was standing in
front of Highway 90; looks like Diane, Jamine's mom (told me Jasmine's dad
was schizophrenic). The crazy woman gets much older and is looking for a
subject for a TV show; Indians have a meeting in one bedroom (in a circle)
and artifacts in another. Sandy has built a new wing over the old house; all
glass, a whole town. I buy two bread rolls that fall on the floor from an
old man; black leopard starts following me; Mom in shed and they have guns
but they misfire. You have to have a hat to keep it looking above your
ankles so it won't pounce. The scene changes and it really is New Mexico,
further in my tour of the town. Calendars on the desk show December 17th, 7
or 11:30 on clocks. A woman has a lot of kids and her house is a castle but
crummy, fell down (the wall) and she lived on the porch surrounded by lush
plants.
11/28/97 A girl from high school, Luanne Fitzgerald, wearing a sweater like
mine at Don Six's house. When I look closer, the knitting is cable, not
diagonal like mine. Eileen Forret has a bicycle you lie down on; this is the
girls basketball team. Oil painting of teddy bear. Offices, Johnnie Lee
there, a map to Li's party in wastebasket with margins cut off. Baby pig
figurines with nervous breakdown look to them.
12/29/97 Animals in wood boxes; bulls (?) what else?
12/31/97 Two kids, a boy about 10 and a teenaged girl; the man is talking on
the phone to a girl from high school who wants to order a
catalog--Dreamscapes. The notebook has paragraphs (paras). I look at them
and find a letter to the girl's mother. She's pregnant and heard the first
heartbeat, needs money, went whale watching where her mother found a bronze.
The magazine article is called Mindscapes. It says you dream in
progressively more shades of the same color--two, three. The girl looks very
pregnant now--her belly button is protruding, cloth covered. She starts to
tell me about her dreams--she leaves her body and doesn't want to follow it.
Her teeth are blue and match her sweater when I look at her face. Her tongue
is green. Instead she follows the relationships of the people to each other;
the boss has a favorite who is obviously gay as the day is long. I think
about an article I read that says this gives him high serotonin that gives
him power; throws me on a tangent and I'm in a very green field along a
road. Very intense greens. Driving towards Gram's nursing home; very
tired--hard to brake. A curtain with blond boy and girl behind it; a
baseball team, coed wearing intense green uniforms. Boys have tall 1890's
hats; girls wrap skirts and pull on hats. Woman coach; there is a song they
are singing about fat girls to the tune of Bad Girls. Two boys are fat when
I look. Then a mother is trying to come up with a diet; first column is
CHOW; first meal is candy, powder in a tube. Doesn't seem like a baseball
song; the game is almost over. It is icy like New Years Eve in Iowa;
throwing out old ropes and rags from the apartment into the driveway, also a
wheelbarrow. The car widows are fogged over.
1/2/98 A room with old hippies giving speeches around a rectangular table
with magazines. One blowhard says something about recognizing you. His wife
tells that he hides his jimson seeds under the wieners. I leave and go to
the daycare center. It's cold and I look for my jacket but find candy. There
is one little girl in one room. She says to get out, it's too crowded. There
are 51,000 there. Calliope music. Hilton drives up in a classic Fairlane (?)
I go over a hill too fast on my bicycle and get airborne and flip, try to
land without getting hurt. I hear on the radio that my grandfather got an
award and a divorce. He's been dead for several years. Grandma is 84, so he
would be 92 if he was still alive. In the bathroom, two women washing their
faces; cakes on a rack, all with yellow frosting; my hair is down when I
look in the mirror.
1/4/98 Picture of a boy riding a red big wheel, following a dog. Field with
dry grass, tools, mostly pliers--12 or 15 of them. Auction block. Women
getting clothes altered. A box of books with several copies of some of them.
Talking on both phones--both dial separate numbers. A cat with several legs;
some of them have claws, some don't. Necklaces, lacelike cloth with small
beads.
1/9/98 I'm telling a guard that I'm tired because I have two jobs. Wall
falling down, have to move. There are a lot of cheap apartments in Hermosa
Beach. Sprinklers turned up too high, cut through a woman's yard and can't
climb back up, a pit.
1/11/98 Surplus equipment, typewriters at work; they are taking the Rambler
too; it has a new engine. I'm not sure it's a good idea. Broken chairs, copy
machine--Kelvin. A box the size of a TV--chocolate; I have to make a
choice-C130 or C17; I can't remember the number.
1/12/98 I am supposed to babysit a little Indian girl while her mom is gone
a few days. I need her carseat and the directions to the babysitter's house.
I'm going to act like the mother and take her to the regular babysitter. Her
regular babysitter lives in Booneville and I make a map, one part gets torn
off. It looks like a picture of a cowboy, very close-up of his horse. I am
babysitting my brother too and he knows where the babysitter lives, but is
puzzled by my map. The scene shifts quickly from place to place. Sam's,
Octoberfest, a ditch in the country, a curb where cars are parked.
1/14/98 Two little boys. The older one is throwing a bowling ball at the
baby. I lock him up in a wire cage with a cloth edge. The next time I look
at them, they are playing with a rubber ball.
1/17/98 Man says, All I need is an Army and one person to back me up. The
living room is less crowded and cluttered; sofa where chairs really are. I
go out and see a black bus with white stripes; go back for my purse; Cher is
there, she says she's busy writing songs. Alpine Village--eat on picnic
tables--pizza, mashed potatoes, cabbages, cauliflower, stuffing--very German
food. A dog, I pet it, very silky fur.
1/18/98 Some secret info hidden in my eyelash; accidentally knock it on the
floor. Lying on blanket on floor; learn to close vents; a horse--computer
program of the info in his head. It might expire.
1/23/98 Vivian, another blond give speeches; woman wants a presentation of
the TAG playground. In hospital, have to go to the 9th floor; elevator is
full. The stairs are like MC Escher; I can't find the way up--also like
cloverleaf onramps. I stay there for awhile; becomes the office, Kelvin has
clues to what he's saying.
1/24/98 Fox with burned leg; all the fur. It works in the copier; very hot
there. School bus picks me up at Dad's; two dimes to get on; seats far apart
on hills of dirt.
1/25/98 A huge house; a lot of people. Have to get down from the top floor
in a basket; button like elevator. Several people are Heldenbrands. A girl
with very short blond hair; raining hard. Basket has the blanket from my bed
in it. The other Sheila is in a room with wood chairs; she says it's
residential--huge rooms, ballrooms. Mail--one package feels like a giant
condom, a foot across. A woman falls out of the basket; my parents are going
somewhere, I think they're taking me but they don't They have suitcases.
Then there are people all around; some are talking about military. A girl
talks about a woman she babysits for--doesn't buy a new car because the old
one just fits in her two flower gardens beside the garage. I ask what kind
of car; she doesn't know, so I guess "bug" and laugh because they are wide,
can't think of a narrow small old car. Then I make the bed and make
corrections on a page of figures. A young girl asks me about a jet and is
lying on the covers along the wall with a little boy working on the figures
again. It is an early copy and they aren't corrected. I hit her and jump on
her stomach and tell her to put the blankets back and get the right figures
out of the wastebasket. Then John Byrne asks me about a jet; I'm saying
something about the military and there's a line of people to buy food; they
are mainly buying bananas.
1/30/98 I move into a different cubicle at work; Debra's next to Nellie's.
Then I go visit another woman and she's moved also and has a lot of
Christmas trees in her cubicle. She has boxes all around; her cubicle is a
cabin with windows all the way around at the end of a row of cabins. Also at
the end of a path across a baseball diamond or school yard. Her boxes look
like library card files. She takes out the ones of the person before her.
I'm at work putting up pictures with tacks; it's 430 and the students remind
me it's time to leave. On the door jamb there are pink and green beads and
rocks. I've been putting the extras there when I finish beading necklaces;
there are a few acrylic beads. I pull myself up on a pink stucco wall--my
arms are stronger from lifting boxes at work. Then I have to slide under a
small opening. Very tight, like the crack under a door. A small mushroom in
my pocket with some tacks. I climb over a fence--trash can for Hughes market
has good food; also 3D playing cards that distract me. One woman's breasts
get bigger on a card; then a zoo, feeding ducks-standing right in the water
so I can see them. Roz is there; then a girl orders a beer for $3.50 and has
to pick it up. The street starts with "C"--Carmenita maybe and is at the
Hughes exit from the freeway. A museum; shower sprays in one room--lots of
red. I look for the door--"exit" is above the middle one. It is pitch dark
in the shower where I am but I feel someone's hand and arm in there.
1/31/98 The future; things are different. Everyone wears orange/brown
clothing unless they're naked. They are thinking of changing their type of
medicine--they heal each other now, but might switch to physical
medicine--which will have a shortage. They go to church a lot and have
capital punishment. They live underground and their numbers decreased to
15,000 and then 2,000. Orange UFOs might come and help them; they are
thinking about introducing other colors. There's something about perfection
and the right to use midwives rather than doctors in childbearing. The young
people don't remember any other system and there is a fear of losing
historical memory. They are thinking of deliberate change to divert public
attention from something. Sandy C comes up and asks me to talk to her; we
pass various offices that all have beautiful plants and furniture; she says
she saw my application for a new job and took it and re-typed it for me.
There's a name on the list she's checking--Villegas--a man named Montgomery
who is the new secretary and is out sick already because of lung cancer.
He's a secretary with Queta. I ask for fashion advice on my clothes.
2/1/98 I have a double; fold her in half to take her to the garbage but a
man sees her. No one thinks she looks like me; she has short hair and no
make-up. I take her in to put make-up on her; she has her own clothes so I
think she can't look exactly like me (and take my place). She puts on eye
shadow; I was only putting on mascara like mine. Her eyeshadow is gray and
purple; she puts on my long white sweater. I think of xeroxing our faces to
check the similarity. The mascara runs out and the new one has two sides, a
new invention. A woman massages her; then I take her to a party at a rich
guy's house. She turns into a spider and tries to escape; old woman heard a
window break. I step on her and someone says, "no" then "delivery, Lila" and
runs out when they think someone came in. I get dressed; she is taking a
class on investing. Man asks if he should sell. It went up from $300 to
$500; the house is split level with very high ceilings--white brick. I try
to get dressed, purple velvet jacket but look in the mirror and it is a vest
with gold metallic threads I'm allergic to. I steal a red and black coat
that supposedly belongs to a kid, but is huge; he cries that it's his
favorite. It's cold, snowy outside and she took my sweater; look in the
mirror and MY hair is short; she was in high school (my hair was short in
high school). I go outside and now I'm at my old high school; fly into the
air--people and dogs are chasing me. Fly through a sports zone up in the air
doing the back stroke to get altitude. Land and sit in a group of women in
nightgowns masturbating. Then I have to try to take off again. Started out a
man at work asks if I'm having a baby and I say I can't; this dream
followed.
2/6/98 A factory with an elevator; walking down a street; very white
limestone buildings; a classical concert; a daycare--toys hanging in
doorway; a little girl asks if I dance; bookstore; vegetable and fruit
market; a string of green beads with green animals in a box; a white room
with pretty beaded dresses and lace bras; books about weather; a map of
western Tennessee; a beautiful home with a woman, baby and other kids; she
puts on knee socks; zonkers.
2/7/98 Dad's house; saloon door between kitchen and living room is broken
off; I put it by the piano (in the dream). Bird house on the floor; a ranch
house--dark brown with blue roof. Perfect bonsai maple tree like I dug up
and made. Canning jars, plastic; also two bears--black and grizzly--look
stuffed and then they move and one is trying to get me by the wrist; good
thing it's the black one. There is a big game hunter visiting inside the
house and I call for help but get away myself and push the bear out. Dad has
transferred from the bed to a stretcher, but his face isn't covered up. I'm
wearing a deerskin.
2/8/98 A big brick house; a room in the kitchen where there's water
dripping; it must be haunted. Stairs beside it; I go up to make sure there's
no water but the spot completely dried up. Long stairs, several flights,
handrailing is gone. Up there is a meeting in one room and Christmas
decorations in two others; a bowl of tangerines and a redheaded doll night
light with the cord spliced together. Man says he'll sell them for $50; rent
is $16,000 a year. There are other tenants from Missouri; a wood stove;
various art projects covering all four walls. I look out the window, the
wind blows all the time, quite hard. The ocean must be close; the vegetation
is in strips of gold, black and green up the mountains and swirls when the
wind gets in it; looks like hedges. A cookie shaped like the USA with
smaller ones for states; take Iowa and Missouri.
2/14/98 Sign along highway--32; driving to California with some women--I
have $1500. Linda figures the bill for her drier-$517; wants me to pay half.
She has some $50 bills. Watching TV--a game show with hidden words--win
$600. A cat in the car--climbs all over; put it in a cage with a squirrel
and it licks its ears. There is also a bird in a cage; it eats $2 worth of
food; 5 day vacation.
2/15/98 Max Factor building; Marina asks me to answer the phone from 1-3;
there is a meeting and she doesn't want to talk to a Mr. Beasley; I read the
minutes and Pete has announced that they might subtract 8 years. A doctor
looks at my stomach to see if I have given birth. Also something called
parturition. He also feels my back; I have on a skintight blouse and a loose
one over it. Little kids are going down a trail riding their big wheels.
They are going to a lower ledge. The teenagers are on this one. There is a
wooden gate across the opening and a space alien is on the other side
talking to me through the slats. A class--a man has a sculpture of a man's
face (green) made of layers of rock; a woman has one make of
limestone--looks like Shroud of Turin; couch is crowded--elbow to elbow.
2/20/98 At work; tasks being assigned; it's a meeting; I have to write
something. Vickie goes into a tirade and then lies on couch and goes to
sleep. Her dress is yellow, then gray with a sweater. Then the women are in
a circle and each one complains about something. The last few are in foreign
languages. The one before me has ornaments on her teeth and the woman beside
her translates that in her village no one will marry you if you aren't a
virgin and a man has fondled her breasts every day for two years. The woman
who translates is older and thinner. She is laughing. One woman is Indian. I
think about what I will say when my turn comes -- that I didn't have such a
great weekend either. My sister, across from me -- looks just like me, must
be another Sheila -- told me that I was stupid because she got stuck making
the cake for Vickie's wedding. Then we start singing, a Colonel tells them
to sing and a woman says not to let me sing at least (I can't carry a tune.)
Vickie takes over and sings opera -- Figuero --in an oriental language. Kids
knock my books on the floor' one falls behind the xerox machine; I count
them, 6 or 7. They are 1-2 years old--too young to read.
2/24/98 A place where photos are taken of little scenes; I have a cow, bull
and calf on the ground behind me. Scenery is like Dept 56. I'm surrounded by
kids; one girl goes to a shed in a fancy yard and gets out a purse; there is
pink gum sticking to all my teeth (almost can't breathe). Plants on a table,
one has a curved stem; two nesting Tibetan dolls--the last one is a skeleton
and you just pull the edges of the paper apart.
3/1/98 Winding white path; ends in a boxlike structure. Ants at work; I have
to go to the bathroom over and over. Jade earrings were $1200, now $650.
Colonel says some women are sleeping there. A blond girl says she's 12-13; I
thought she was a baby. A room full of leather and pottery--like necklaces;
I try on one with a long scarf; I'm wearing a filmy white dress when I look
in the mirror.

3/7/98 Don Six reading a red book someone hands him. I read part of it; it's
quotes. Four volume set of Carl Sandburg--life of Lincoln and another book.
New desk and computer, wood desk.
3/10/98 Outside Mom's house by pump; there's a big cat in the yard; the girl
with me runs to the house and it runs up to her; it comes up to me; very
frightened. Then I'm up in the air, circus or something. People talking
about how something happens over and over; I have to stay in a trailer in
the yard and be abducted by aliens and they'll do medical experiments on me
(and other kids). I walk by one trailer and a Navy guy is sitting outside
the door reading a newspaper; then I'm inside a mall. There are dolls in
refrigerated cases; girl is taking out one doll's clothes and going to wear
them. I think you become the doll in some play. I think about the hallways
between these cases will be very hot in the summer.
3/20/98 Waiting at a picnic table for a park to open; had a chain across the
gate. One guy sneaked in early and a riot squad went after him--big dogs
with wide shoulders. Chased him up a prickly tree--pine or locust maybe with
small dead branches all up trunk. A black cat--chased the riot squad guy
back down the tree--clawing at him. Then it opens; seems to be an Egyptian
museum or one about investing. Walking through tunnel like mall hallway to
buy groceries; stop and look at jewelry. A man tells me to hold one clear
rock up under my chin and look through it at my breasts; I see a scene at
first--white figures in a clear slab.
3/22/98 Gram's house has new blue curtains on all but one window. We are
going somewhere, taking potato salad; drive to work--other cars don't know
where to park. A wool skirt and sweater and Air Force jacket on my parking
place. It too hot now, spring. Potluck--cold cuts, cheese; Pam and Vickie
made summer squash pickles. There is eggplant paste. Bread and milk. A long
walk to a lake.
3/27/98 Elaine's jockey shorts showing from under short skirt. I say
Scottish are too cheap to move to the USA. Colonel handing out checks; some
Hispanic men charity--one can't work and wants to play baseball, I say he'd
have to be the pitcher(can't run). A woman introduces me to a blond guy who
was the Young and Restless (?) People are over-stressed--can't ask them for
any more. Mom's old house, walls painted in bedroom with fake rock. Very
pretty. King size bed, vanity mirror, chest of drawers. Outside is a parking
place and leather couches thrown out. One chair still looks good--wicker and
swivels on a cone shaped base. There is a Disco on one side; she has a maid.
The stairs are a ramp part way up. A garage sale; I get a yellow coat with
fake fur lining. Kids through house--a daycare. Vivian is asleep on the
couch; puts her hand under pillow. Sandy is under the mattress cover in
Shirley's old room; a little boy rapelling down the wall.
a little boy rappels down the wall. Another one sleeps on the floor; the
window is open, towards the outhouse. Mirror by the window in house with
slate rock walls; I look in mirror (trying to look out window--it is a
mirror instead of a window) and realize it's a dream--try to concentrate and
keep the image of the mirror. My freckles are very dark, all over face.
Then I have dark hair and eyes, reddish lips--full.
3/28/98 A test--answers are: an ad, socks or aprons, ABC or CBS, luck,
immigrants, number 3 is 5, a man who is attentive and tender, number 4, B.
A bunch of clothes size 6, many are green. Skirt, vest with chiffon print
long blouse. They are in a garbage bin at a store--mommy bin. Storm is
coming; a lot of rain and wind. A woman scared, walking away, son had
operation (Goldberg the wrestler). Kick one's ass out and another's ass in.
If you intimidate someone that long, he could have just died. A salad in a
metal bowl, ambrosia; no hero; working at Christmas; going to bed with a
cat; cats don't scratch leather couches.
4/12/98 Going away somewhere; buy new thongs for 79 cents. Tell the woman
clerk she should see the good side of things too. I have a 1926
uncirculated gold piece with a picture of JFK on it; wrapped in tissue in
Christmas box. Two miniature pennies. When I'm leaving that building there
are new Christmas decorations going up--a giant wreath made of white fur. A
new janitor looks like a muppet; he has a dog; life goes on. I'm supposed
to meet my co-conspirators at a lake; there are other people camped there;
it looks like a volcanic lake--rocky or cinders everywhere--looks so
familiar. I climb up a ladder into an attic room. Three men say they're
leaving when I come in. I am surprised to see several women and men from
work sitting around a small wood table; voice says this is Sandy's room.
4/17/98 The end of the dream I've packed for a journey. There are singers
on a stage who get mad because I make a noise putting sandwiches and
shoestring potatoes on a plate. There are plum, raspberry and mango vines
on a wall, vacant lot; very few left, it must be fall. Sandy C is
there--has her new diamond ring. I'm walking up a long hill; very
discouraging.
4/23/98 Shopping at Sears for men's flannel pajamas. The top is red plaid
and the shorts blue. Women's are silky and short. The bed is all sweaty
and bloody. I put down the clothes I picked out and then can't find them; I
see other women looking at them then they are gone and completely different
racks of clothes appear like time has passed.
5/10/98 I take a bus to the airport, decide to go to Las Vegas; then I
change my mind and am just walking, have to cross busy streets. Nellie is
back at work with a $25,000 car. Other people doing payroll; notes on some
of them to break it to them gently. Then I'm walking on the hill at the old
farm and two cats are following me--very skinny. One light with dark
stripes and one dark with light stripes; they zoom in close to me. They eat
junk food that kids leave laying around. I'm on a boat fishing; bass
tournament--they release them; voice says not to set the electric hooks. A
kid catches a small electric eel; I decide to go to shore, on top of a cabin
cruiser.
5/19/98 An apartment, I go in and a man can unlock the door, even gets the
chain off; I say I'll call the police and he says it's 1-800-sheriff. He
asks a policeman who appears to unlock a padlock and chain. The apartment
is different, long like a train; a couple, man blond with a beard; they talk
without moving their mouths. I can't remember what they said, very quiet.
When you buy a T-shirt you get an umbrella with it.
6/5/98 Looking out a window; someone comes up and looks out too. A stream
across the road, it has water lilies. There are canoes; on the mountain on
the other side are a lot of people but I can't see them--too far away. I
see a Tarot card--redheaded woman holding up a sword in a canoe. A tank
full of big goldfish; several are dead; all the food is gone--bottom is
shiny. The tank is lighted, blue background.
6/7/98 Someone shows me how to put a mirror in the freezer, then breathe on
it and the ice crystals form designs and move around. There are 3 other
things like that you can do (iron filings). I run away over the grassy
fields; it's someone's brother and she's worried about him; I talk to him
and ask how much he has to remember. Jaclyn--I'm looking in a different
mirror; she's telling me her boyfriend (RC Prunty in the dream) took his car
to be fixed driving in the ditch (didn't even want to drive during a slack
time) but then the edge of town came (also a river) and someone called the
police. I try on a lot of clothes, gauzy and lacey. Pizza; a class;
holding something fixed--a crutch or ironing board. There are lines of
little kids at work auditioning. I run to the door across the parking lot
and the man organizing the line says, "you better stop running, kid, the
colonel will see you." I have a book, Rewritten in Truth and Revised in
Love.
6/12/98 A test, I'm not studying. John is there and tears off a page that
has the questions. It says the answers are on the last page. Persian
warfare? The test (next one) is the Julie Building; that's near the
Pentacrest. I go thru a room and the other Sheila has a prescription,
CPU1524--also an S and a 5 I think. Two men sit at a table supervising the
test. Then I go around a porch where relatives of Elvis and Ann Margaret
(looks like her) say this is their attic (it revolves or you walk around
it). Elvis's daughter is a baby in pink on the floor; there is a box with a
riding lawnmower and a vacuum cleaner. I push a girl in a cart but she runs
ahead in the ballroom.
6/13/98 I'm reading a book of short stories looking for one (?). Sleeping
in a room on a blanket on the floor; Marina comes in and I get up and tell
her to sleep. Cleaning a kitchen; the cleaning products are in the porch;
the floor is very cold; I'm barefoot. Two sponges. Suren tells me he has
to fire some woman every morning, but she also owns a car wash and something
else.
6/14/98 At work, no one there in colonel's office, so people can sit where
they want. Rick C gives me an aquarium to set up but it is a paper doll
Barbie with a clear plastic bed. She has a lambs wool coat and a blue denim
dress.
7/11/98 I'm in Sandy C. office at work. I tell her rich people get
diabetes and poor ones TB. I look out the window behind her and waves are
breaking against the wall of the office building. They go back and forth
across the sand leaving the sand bare when they're out; the wall is at the
bottom of the building.
7/12/98 Office building; I see my reflection--very white face, red
hair--shoulder length, suit. Remodeling something. A boy about 8 is taking
care of a girl in diapers; she has blood in her stools. It's some other
man's turn to change her; her diaper isn't soaked. Magazine called Face and
Brain. A check for $300. I find a box with a doll Mom saved until I grew
up so I wouldn't ruin it; surprisingly, it's English--red plaid dress
pushing a baby carriage. Has black hair tied back and a belted dress.
There are words to read on the side (might be a nanny). I realize I'd
opened the baby doll earlier. Then the women from work point out a sale;
some things are 8 cents, practically giving them away--expensive sewing
pins. Frances Banks from high school is sitting next to me; a training
session on school buses is going on; a voice says, "push on the brake" but
it doesn't stop, goes through a barrier onto a grassy plain with a river.
7/13/98 I order two hamburgers and the "new kid" gets it mixed up--a steak
sandwich (long horn meat) and a taco. No fries, no tea, no diet coke. Two
new houses at Dad's farm; pools and the whole side of the house is windows.
Pictures of Sierra Rubber, 1981. Some girls from high school work there:
Nancy Gibson, Linda Lane, Sonja Allen, Nancy Johnson (Becky and Karen's
sisters). Also a redhead; photo of us all together. Restroom, second
stall doesn't have a toilet; it's just a hall. A man comes in so I duck in
there; he goes fast and runs out--going to pick up his kid to go somewhere.
Then I go into the fourth one and it's a motel room; has a medicine cabinet.

7/17/98 A laundromat, I take out wet clothes; there are dryers one floor
down too, so I go down there. They are too hot and start a manuscript on
fire--scorch right in the middle of the pages. I wonder if it will do the
same thing to the clothes and don't put them in.
7/18/98 In the old outhouse. I planted a tree in there that is still
alive, by the door. The hole is almost full (of shit). Gary dug another
one nearby; it has grass clippings in it. Couple are having sex in the rose
garden; I go inside, the door used only in the summer and kiss a man. A
hallway where I left my purse and two books--one is thick about Madame
Blavatsky; a woman thinks it's about a man that disappeared. A thin book is
gone; tall man dressed in furs like Eskimo--a homeless man may be living in
the hallway. The apartment next door belongs to one of my aunts--looks like
Gram's kitchen. When I pass the hallway again it's painted in bright red
and blue geometric shapes and a tree trimmed/grown in a shape.
7/18/98 A mall, a retiree from work is now the manager of Baskin Robbins
(Raul). He gives me a cone of mint chocolate chip. They have fancy shapes
of ice cream like flower petals. Kids flavors like bubble gum. A tall
blond woman asks me to rehearse just the long quiet scene; I'm in some play.
Tom Imoto also retired comes in; I have his turtle but it looks like an
English walnut shell; he says I can keep it. People are talking about how
much money they made in the stock market. Then I'm in a car; Victor is in
school again and I'm driving the kids somewhere; he tells me to pick him up
and bring some girls.
7/25/98 Voice says to check on Goldie Hawn and Brook Shields. A teapot
with indentations for cups inside in the bottom. A list of prices for
meals--going up. Long list like adding tape. A girl with short black hair
in blue polka-dot dress. Sandy C introduces me to a (dark) redheaded high
school kid; at Howard Johnson's but like a trailer with a window; kid is
joking around. I see rain on the window, leaves on the windowsill and start
cleaning it, voice asks if I need to do that. Sandy comes back in and I ask
something about her clothes.
8/1/98 At work, man working with me looks like Mom's home-care client, Art
Van Buren--to deliver some papers. We pass some women; Karen Johnson (HS)
is pregnant he says. Then we find some cakes; clock says 7:40. At the end
of a trailer a woman checks badges. Out on the lawn some redheads with dark
tans; a man on the ground; Art says, "who's that, oh a dead man." Training
office has been closed down, looks like false front. Before that driving in
mud and water. (Art Van Buren died sometime back then, Mom told me.)
8/2/98 Jesse tells me the new software gives you values; there is a fix on
lines 6 and 7. Light switch needs battery at position 8. I put a screw
between two of my teeth, about half way back. Jesse says Tony Waldron
kicked him in the leg in the morning swimming class and it hurts (he said,
"ouch.")
8/7/98 I see a man in a blue jacket on the stairs at work; later he walks
in when I'm in line at the train station or grocery store--it's a blue
sweatshirt. Now there's a tall blond/curly girl in navy sweatpants. I'm in
the cab of a truck with some important papers and have to move over so Mike
can get in; I tell him to get in the back. Then I cut across a parking lot
or cemetery (divided into small rectangles) to a town like Iowa
City--downtown. A bathroom, a little girl knows my name. The water is to
the top of the toilet bowl; she pees standing up, touches her face down in
the water and gets her curly bangs wet. She says, "beautiful." Then it's
my turn. There's snow behind the restroom--a wagon. I'm going to pee out
there because the toilet is running over, but a man like Andre the Giant
catches me. He gives me a telegram, he's a bartender. It's about wedding
pictures I have to pick up at Walmart; it's 5PM and a long way on the map
along the shoreline. The bar is closing and the bartender is cooking
cornbread; he asks to borrow my newspaper about the Detroit football team.
8/9/98 Madison County, classes with a glass window separating them. Mom is
on my side. Dante is the instructor on the other side and is wearing a red
tie.
8/10/98 I'm riding in the back of a big station wagon, working on a piece
of quilting. There is a military woman driving; she parks on the grass.
The back door isn't closed. There are a lot of people in the back of the
car; an old man tries to close it while the car is moving. Then an Indian
with long thick hair and a bright blue breechcloth steps down on the ground
like fancy horseback riding. Someone asks if his foot was dragging on the
ground and hurt it (car was moving).
8/14/98 A woman from work asks me where the Prairie Hospital is. I don't
know; "you go to Estella street, then what?" she asks. So she asks the
exact name and her computer will tell her; I look in my purse for the card
and I'm there. There are boxes in the hall--they are closed for the day.
Two little boys are sitting on my feet. I see a guy from HS, RC Prunty,
that I though worked at Hughes in the dream. Making chili at the old house
on Larch; a lot of people live there. One girl complains she doesn't like
the food all mixed together, another one gets a big package of beef and a
leg of some animal out of the freezer (they are all labeled on the butcher
paper). There are strawberries too; the basement is out the door where the
freezer is--it is like the inside of a hollow house--a huge empty space with
balconies along one end and an area hollowed out of dirt. There are tools
on the balcony and boxes of files on the bottom floor, the middle floor is
boxes of clothes, trunks. One barrel that glows red has a spotlight on it.

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