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7/24/01 -- Correspondence of reality to 7/23/01 dreams --[Palestinians OUT OF BED. About 20 Palestinian gunmen, including members of
President Yasser Arafat Fatah faction and the
Islamic militant group Hamas, shot at the Gaza City home of military
intelligence chief Moussa Arafat, triggering a clash with his bodyguards on
Monday.] [Native Tongues by Charles Berlitz (author of The Bermuda Triangle)
-- Insults and Profanity Around the World -- "In Arabic the word "dog" has
been used as an insult ever since, about 1,350 years ago, a dog barked and
alerted the enemies of Mohammed while the founder of Islam was hiding from
them in a cave. Ya, ibn kalb --"Oh, son of the dog"-- are fighting words in
Arabic. Dog based insults are common in English and the Germanic languages.
A German favorite is verdammter Schweinehund!-- "damned pig-dog!"-- and the
less explosive stommehond, "stupid dog", is a Dutch example. In Vietnam the
insult do cho de literally means, "you dog birth". Russian speakers use the
expression, "son of a female dog", sukin sin, in much the same way the
equivalent English expression is used. But the exuberant Russians can go
even further, with the insult, huy sobaki, "dog cock" and then can top that
one with huy morshevyi, "walrus cock". In Swahili, an insult is fisti,
"hyena." German national insult -- to question if a person is really very
happy -- "Yes, indeed, as happy as GOD IN FRANCE."
Sound of rain on the roof around 2 PM. Usually means it's going to rain.
7/24/01 Fool, Hanged Man (sacrifices -- admirable or useless) 1030 PM "Do
you think we're going to give you a medal?" -- picture of hands holding a
metal rectangular box. 2-5 AM "Cut this out, Bill, look what they did to
Granny." Three algebraic formulas I saw written outside a cave at the
beginning and end of the dream. Simple formulas (x+y) + 1 is part of it.
Idea that it was three things added together, then two places and one time.
I see a man who reminds me of Bob or Raul (dark hair, doesn't say anything)
again. It's after running down a steep hill in deep wet sand; path; feet
get raw cold feeling; there are branches on the ground in two places, but
they have a manufactured look -- look like the rakes for Zen gardens.
Voice, "the last time we thought about having a child together. Redlight
district forever (her or Sheila?) In one part of the journey is a man
working on something -- boxes on shelves - I hug him then get very sad and
cry and he disappears. Things nobody would ever tell me. I assemble with
the others at the bottom of the sandy hill to discuss what is occurring.
Nostalgia in dreams -- streets you only want to go down once -- you don't
write down because you'll only go there once (more). This happens after
hitting my head in the dream and lying down -- someone hit me. A sheep
locked up in a small field -- must eat grass it peed on -- mild protest -
this is a minor problem [Hillerman book, hippies living on reservation
didn't know about sheep diseases such as scabies.] Voice, "blocks of power;
wouldn't/couldn't block you out" -- turning page. Picture of a big block of
dressed stone. "I don't think so, the fact that you may have enjoyed that
in the past doesn't mean you would want to do it again." Three wood steps
at one point on the path, more deep red steps that a boy slides down on his
butt. "A woman from the early 1900s who wrote about the working man. The
whole gambling scene is dreadful." Earlier, I climb up from a quarry,
abyss, garbage dump, water park, Lourdes and when Shirley comes along I can
see details [Carlos Casteneda in Art of Dreaming says it takes two to see in
dreams.] -- I pick up a textile, then see silk roses with a large pearl
drop from the petal like a drop of water; the first one has crystal beads
also coating it like ice. There is a whole series of them as the idea
developed. In the early ones, a ball of pearls hung from a branch. In a
middle period, there were whole clusters of pearls on strands hanging from
the roses. Someone interrupts me. Voice, "how come women used to have
those nine months." A voice says the wet sand is not important -- group
standing around. Gram Esther is looking at the silk roses too and thinking
that they would make good rose color hats with pearls on them. [She made her
own hats, including one of mink and one of pheasant feathers.] Memory of
days where I didn't eat at all -- in Chicago at a demonstration. "A
whip/rib cage." Young woman's voice, "Death as my hero." The young male
hero -- voice says, "freedom." Freedom from or to what -- "isolation."
Another formula under a cartoon -- abstract kid with spiky hair -- Calvin.
(Formula for) "the short term." Temper/temporary/loneliness. Popular
writer. Scandals (revelations) from God. "Dig up those (archeology)
memories/ruins." "Get started on it." I turned over to my left side --
black and white picture of Palestine -- two pictures. The first is a town
on a hillside with a big building near the bottom of the hill. Then a big
hole in the whole middle of the town above the big building -- explosion or
urban renewal demolition.
Brought forth in coldness/My grip was true/Ice cream was awful/sounds like a
poem, fourth line would be That's why I love you.
Fight over an unborn child or a baby. "He doesn't even know." "Mad Willie
will cover it." "Children learn about the Big Bang luck/lunch, don't they?"
"Records things you would pass by or miss entirely." "It'll never match, to
try my missing parts." "Children are born." A man and two teenaged kids
wake up this morning. "Can I do that?" "When things hurt, I thought they
reminded me." "You just lie there (not asleep)."

7/23/01 Page of swords (R) 1030 PM sitting awake in a car -- daylight; looking out windshield. A dog in a restaurant, waitress stands between it and a four year old diner so he won't talk about it -- there is a sermon going on at the front and she wants quiet. The dog seems to be the minister, was just howling, which the little boy remarked on and the waitress quickly stood between to block his view of the dog -- she has a full black skirt and white blouse, dark curly hair. The boy then begins eating spinach with a fork. He's blond, oriental looking, about 4 years old. [DOG is GOD anagram/palindrome]. Picture of a hospital, one patient or visitor checks another patient's feet. Their feet seem frozen, wrapped in rags. German hospital. Forest fire coming up to a river bank -- elephants running along the bank (trying to save people). 1245 Midnight email about Aspen. Little boy dressing himself -- steps into his (short) pants. 5 AM I look for a clipping of a recipe in my purse and find two different ones -- one is a picture of blue dots. Going out the door, there is a small sign over the door saying it's a talking zone (voice tells me what it says) -- is a lab where they build secret stuff, I guess. Out in the hall are a lot of workers, Johnnie is wearing a tank top, which is against the rules and is directing people. I talk to a woman about a computer and ask if Windows 3.1 will still work; she says she sees what I mean; potential problem. Then I see a list of two books by forest defenders -- the first one is called "I Won" or "I One". The other one has a long title or is a list of world events/accomplishments in 1959. The first title is cut off. A voice also mentions the title. I'm not sure if it was a dream or real life -- I saw a book of excerpts of War inspired literature and the first two items were Mein Kampf and Diary of Anne Frank, then there were journalists such as Ernie Pyle and maybe TV shows such as Gomer Pyle. I go to the bedroom and a man and two women are getting into bed. One woman is "fat, dumb and happy" -- has just been questioned by the FBI or someone -- she gives cagey sounding answers. I follow her and she's getting into bed on the man's left and a woman with curly dark hair is getting in on his right. He is jovial and the two women are reluctant -- pull away slightly. He says to one, "okay, go shopping" and to the other one, "okay, go work on your emails/computer." Then he gets out of bed and talks to me, sitting by the bed. I'm looking at a big stack of books and he says to read the "big two." I think he means Science Fiction big two, say, oh, Gibson and Sterling. Or maybe Carlos Casteneda and Patricia Garfield if it is the modern "dream gurus" -- or Remote Viewing (Ingo Swann) and Out of Body (Robert Munroe) -- Ingo Swann has two new big books -- Pyschic Sexuality and Secrets of Power. [Man on the bed looked familiar, very kindly man -- could be Wahid if he has two wives, or his ex-vice president, the new president of Indonesia, Megawati Sukarnoputri and president of PI, Gloria Macapagal Aroyo who gave her first state of the union speech -- On the economy, Arroyo said her government would focus on building infrastructure, including telecommunications facilities aimed at the information technology sector, roads to tourist destinations and
transport in and around the capital Manila..] [Curse lifted: Monks in the Mount Athos monastic community have been chanting the curse on August 23 every year since Ottoman forces killed almost all their brothers on the island, blaming them for attacks actually launched by the villagers. "Villagers had killed some Turks and threw them down a well... Two monks managed to escape and return to the Koutloumousi monastery, where they imposed a curse on the villagers to "never sleep again." L Ron Hubbard was sentenced to Eternal Wakefulness in Slaves of Sleep]

7/27/01 World. 1 AM picture of beams in buildings made of a synthetic metal/substance. 8 AM Voice, "going over email from Baltimore -- says go here if you're young and want kids -- 'tumble ye eggs'." Woman has woodland sprites. Art Bell putting together a puzzle -- is his whole wall, the door piece is missing. "They always have spoons on them -- plates?" "Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom." "Computers (2) don't even have a button to turn them on" -- picture of a lot of computers."
[For immediate release, 27 July 2001 nsarchives. CIA STALLING STATE DEPARTMENT HISTORIES, ARCHIVE POSTS ONE OF TWO DISPUTED VOLUMES ON WEB, STATE HISTORIANS CONCLUDE U.S. PASSED NAMES OF COMMUNISTS TO INDONESIAN ARMY, WHICH KILLED AT LEAST 105,000 IN 1965-66 WASHINGTON, D.C., 27 July George Washington Universitys National Security Archive today posted on the Web (nsarchives) one of two State Department documentary histories whose release the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency is stalling, even though the documents included in the volumes were officially declassified in 1998 and 1999, according to public State Department records. The two disputed State Department volumes cover Indonesia-Malaysia-Philippines in the years 1964-68 and Greece-Turkey-Cyprus in the same period.
(Ironically, Suhartos successor, ex-President Wahid, is on his way to Baltimore this week for medical treatment, (see History Bleached at State, New York Times editorial, May 16, 1990, p. A26: At the very moment that Moscow is coming clean on Stalins massacre of Polish officers, Washington is putting out history in the old Soviet mode.).]
7/28/01 Queen of swords (R), 5 of cups (treachery) 130 AM "always good possible." Software for kids that teaches, has memories -- I see it twice in the dream. Comes in home and school models -- the last step is to roll it in dust. "I wait past time to tell my brief story." Little girl throwing popcorn into a compter or VCR. 10 AM The dream starts in my real apartment. Dad has asked my sisters to help him with tasks around the house. I see a rear-view mirror on the wall by the entry door -- thought it was eyes looking through a hole and mentioned it to a woman as I walk past it. I go in the kitchen, which is larger because the stove and refrigerator are gone. I stand along the wall so they can't see me from the great room -- out of the way, so I don't influence the other people. I hear snoring and go into the bedroom where Dad and my brother are sleeping in my spot on the bed. I think about sleeping on the couch because my brother might hit me in the face flinging his arms around in a strange bed. Someone hands me a light purple irridescent silk suit ($3) and shoes that look like cracked mud on the bottoms which fascinates my attention. I walk down the front of the building and Martin is the manager again and he is talking to a family of Chinese or Tibetans (broad faces) about farming the front lawn (up on a terrace). He tells them $50 is not too much to pay and they must subdivide the groundcover into five sectors and in one the seeds don't come up, how will they replant without making tire marks into the growing sectors? I walk to a conference and Cyndi catches up with me. She asks me who called this morning -- it was the Colonel's secretary and a man. I stand at the door -- there's anther meeting still going on -- may be on airline safety or FAA -- blond woman in charge. I see a man and two women asleep in the corner. They were sleeping in their commuter van and were dumped out in a pile at work without waking them up. There's an empty chair near them and I ask Cyndi if she wants to share it. Voice says there's a camera in the room filming everything and Cyndi points up near the ceiling. Then I'm sitting in a folding metal chair and the blond at the front tells the people to introduce themselves. A women sitting in the back near me mutters that she isn't telling who she is, then says loudly to the blond that she's too shy. The next woman is lying on the floor and mutters that her name is Fine. She says loudly that she's just waiting for a transfer to Minneapolis. The blond says that they (management) don't usually sit around while two whole floors of high paid employees bail out and leave the office empty. I'm next and I don't know whether to tell who I am or not, after what the last two said, so I just tell where I work and that I'm a clerical assistant. The blond leans back and gasps in horror (looks like Mother Nature maybe) -- but I ignore her having become fascinated with my suit, which got a drop of water on it and now has a watermark or bird poop on my lap. I look up and the blond is standing beside me inspecting the water stain also and she says that it is very unusual -- "the suit is not made of metal." It looks like where a blow torch discolors metal in a rainbow mark. Earlier in the dream, two men had permanent bird poop on the bottoms of their shoes -- one with just one white poop, and the other one with a half dozen of them. 9 PM "Now I think maybe mother." "Illegal taproot deep in Congress." PIle of books I haven't re-read -- Ringworld on the bottom. [4 PM while talking on the phone, a man kept breaking in talking about driving on the freeway in S California; L... Boy; people looking at his unusual antenna; getting into it with a van; and he said, "I can hear you better too."]

7/29/01 Ace of swords. 1 AM "your hands look so small" -- picture of hands holding small, maybe child hands. Memory of previous dream -- keys I was loaned in that dream, two of them. Picture of a man in a long white lab coat running through the room twice very fast -- legs not moving -- he comes in from the right, goes along a counter, and disappears to the left. A pig tied up -- rope around head, by a gray wood or concrete solid fence or wall. Loud voice, "he's about 20 years old." I inspect the pig -- has wrinkled black hairless skin -- is about 5 feet long and 3 feet tall at the shoulder. Girl upset and accusing, "I lied for you and now you want me to lie for all your friends." Voice behind me, "not my friends." Picture of a bearded dark haired man surrounded by darkness -- looks like a Catholic picture of Jesus. 7 AM Letter from a teenaged girl quoting how some reform or change had been made in the first paragraph. She says drugs make an interesting person in the second paragraph. I wake up after reading only two paragraphs. Voice, "is that all?" "No." "Thank you for coming." Dog is killed or removed to make a kid relate to his own species. Story (in black and white) of a woman's life I'm watching, from the same room. She's a movie star and has to go to work. Her boyfriend, who she has just agreed to support, has straight black hair slicked back, bathrobe, and has his back to me. He looks sort of like Robert Mitchum. She complains about a blond who comes to visit, "being a mess". Then I'm out in the hall and see the blond arriving. She's wearing a black hat with a veil, black suit and heels, carrying a black purse so full of white papers they're sticking out the top and trailing down the side of her purse, which she finally clutches to her chest rather than holding it by the handle -- so that she can stub out her cigarette in the ashtray attached to the wall by the front door of the apartment. The papers are full pages and scraps -- disorganized looking and she grabs the whole mess and mashes it together as she goes in the door. She walks into the living room where there are two gray couches at right angles to the fireplace and he comes in wearing a bathrobe and walks up to the mantle for a drink -- with his back to the room. She says he looks terrible. He says, no he doesn't, he IS terrible. He goes to get a drink. She goes into the bedroom and he has nailed a rectangle of sticky green (only color in the story) astroturf to the top of the door, for sticking her mess of papers on when she puts them down. Then I'm in my apartment gathering up library books to return a week early. I put them in a cooler and keep two with bookmarks that I started reading -- black book of Ingo Swann about power and Carlos Casteneda about power/warrior/art of dreaming. Room looks neat without the books -- now the top of the TV is a nice bare expanse. 8 AM I go through a manuscript looking for a theory. A kid fighting with parents says not to bother him, then says that wood is the problem -- "wood coming out my ears" -- sliver of wood in his ear. Woman asks if I want to see some dust that looks like mice under the bed. I consider going through something deleting out all the details or tangent thoughts. "The trade laws have caused hardships for thousands, maybe five -- disrupting their lives. Three cars parked by the nuns dormitory. A woman talking about going to the other side; too busy on this side. Voice says, "all she does is hop." [headline today: Merle Haggard tells all.]

> 7/25/01 Knight of swords, Queen of cups (has blue feet). 945 PM "Send
> it back to me." "The Bob's will tattle." "It doesn't matter, I came here
> alone." "You can only hug (your own) hands so many times" -- picture of
> short stocky person like Amerindian pottery women. Picture of pregnant
> Indian woman in buckskin dress -- voice saying, "you know she ran out of
> staples." Midnight -- I attend a conference for a hopeless cause; no one
> will even listen about Indian life. Then a woman in picture wearing only
> a big baggy yellow skirt, no blouse, with stripes on it and a blue denim
> belt, skirt cut up to the waist on both sides -- looks sort of like bikini
> bottom on a thronelike chair with babies crawling on the awning above it
> (like Queen of cups). Voice discussing if babies are to be shot if they
> crawl over their boundaries. She says the baby on the roof is not hers.
> She is middle aged, graying hair, stocky and rough acting. Then she tells
> me there's been a miracle -- text has appeared, a press announcement --
> seems like the speech of some old-time Indian leader. The person standing
> in front of me was to be arrested or go home, giving up -- and the words
> were posted. There is great rejoicing. There was parking for the event
> through a detour of orange cones. Before that, the woman was arranging a
> protest and told me to staple my boobs up and take off my clothes for the
> nude protest. I circulate through the group of protesters and then follow
> an important shadowy man to another room where a powerful, executive type
> woman is speaking to a man who flew in from Italy. The woman has a photo
> of herself -- dressed in yellow skirt or bikini as above. Before I was
> discussing how history is an assembly line of change with the other group
> of protesters. "Publicity of their plight -- when they were going to lock
> themselves in (to change things.) I was looking up and the message was
> suddenly posted in stone along the roof. "The American Indians have won."
> Before that, a man turns on a stereo very loud and when I try to turn it
> down, I can't, the knob is broken. A crowd gathers; it is the living room
> of my real apartment and the door is open and people come in and stand
> around. I say they might as well, until the police get there about the
> noise at midnight. I like the song -- a rabble rousing ballad -- Bruce
> Springsteen maybe, No Surrender -- about resistance. It is in my kitchen
> and food has miraculously appeared for everyone. The conference is about
> survivability. "No prisoners, no retreat, no surrender, we will not give
> up, we will not give ground, we will stand our ground." "Shut off the
> electricity and the elevators (to high rise buildings." "Megawatts."
> 530 AM Someone questioning me on the name of the person who said this --
> I erased the name earlier, and even the sex of the person. Then I can't
> remember who it was. A neighbor girl from Junior High trying on green
> fatigue pants in front of a mirror in a thrift shop. Dad's khaki shirts I
> wore in college in another pile on the floor, and sweatpants -- this looks
> like my stuff in a yard sale. I walk past some shoes and see my
> reflection in a window -- I have a flat stomach and cut off denim shorts,
> white blouse, cropped. I seem to be in Junior High again too -- thin,
> about 100 pounds -- I am amazed that I look this good, think it is now --
> keep going back to look in the window at my reflection -- impression it's
> a bank at a mall. Voice asks about the hard shoes -- high heels; my feet
> are okay again, I don't need to look at the moccasins. I go back to the
> mirror and now the girl is completely dressed, with her back to me, and
> she has on the fatigues shirt too -- they look tight, which surprises me
> and I almost ask what size that is -- men's sizes start at 28. I bite my
> tongue. Then she speaks and says, "should I wear these pants tight like
> this?" Army uniforms are usually baggy. When she turns around I see that
> the shirt is tight too, only buttoned at the middle over a white T-shirt.
> She has hair on her chest that looks like transplants (clumps). I am
> confused -- thought it was Don's girlfriend -- German girl up the road
> from Dad's farm -- cheerleader type with curly hair. [Wednesday July 25
> 12:05 PM ET Masked Gunmen Kill India's 'Bandit Queen' By Y.P. Rajesh
> NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Masked gunmen killed India's ``Bandit Queen,''
> Phoolan Devi, outside her home on Wednesday, ending a turbulent life that
> began in poverty and rape, turned into a quest for revenge and wound up in
> parliament. Devi, 37, was shot by three gunmen who pumped five bullets (2
> in head, 3 in body) into her when she got out of her car and was about to
> enter her house in the high-security heart of the Indian capital, Joint
> Commissioner of Police Suresh Roy told Reuters. The short and stocky Devi
> was portrayed in the 1994 film ''Bandit Queen'' as a rape victim from a
> low-caste community of boatmen whose career of crime began as a quest for
> revenge against her attackers. Devi rose to notoriety in 1981 when 22
> upper-caste men were massacred in the Uttar Pradesh village of Behmai. She
> denied leading the killers but surrendered to police in the central state
> of Madhya Pradesh in 1983.] [From yesterday's dream of 7/24, new story
> Wed, July 25, 1:25 PM ET. Hamas leader's car was hit by four anti-tank
> shells and the whole middle was blown out of it -- looks like the hole
> appeared in the hillside in yesterday's dream - the pavement through the
> hole looks like a tan roof of a big building -- "The Israeli army then
> sent two bulldozers and a pair of tanks to level a nearby Palestinian
> post and petrol station, the witnesses said. A Palestinian policemen was
> shot in the hand during the demolition"..]

7/26/01 2 of wands (boldness, fierceness, courage negated by sadness;
clairvoyance) 3 of swords (sadness, singing, faithfulness in promises) 1030
PM "there will come a time when you'll do something very stupid in your
history (looking at a rosebush with shears in hand.) 4 AM loud voice
outside window in the dream. I wake up and look out, very tired - person
said three things --. "Tick, tick, what's this, Sheila?" Person outside,
I'm up high - thin, light hair, dressed in loose buckskin or draped
furs/pelts holding a ribbon or scroll. The landscape is desert - flat,
baked yellow or reddish soil.

7/30/01 6 of pentacles (success) 1030 PM a stream emptying into an ocean
-- rocky, muddy stream bed. Wahid departing -- aide kidding him about his
shirt. All the same thing -- use the same madness -- companies or
organizations or nationalities. I never thought about leaving her but I
didn't know what to do. We can't ride a giant carp in a tank (with a
bridle) picture of a huge fish in a small metal container. I'm reading an
email about a little boy chasing a ball of light (picture of him, wearing a
white shirt); 30 or 60 days to claim him. Test is nudist going to his car
at a busy street. 2 AM "I was the only one having these," voice says,
"but Frankie, think." I'm in a barn -- two geese come to the door and want
in; they are the size of full grown geese but have fluffy yellow down
feathers. They chase and bite each others heads. Before that, a blond
woman is petting a dead chickens or birds or baby turkeys (face down,
plucked, featherless, but have the head and feet) in a manger or soup pan.
She pets their heads and says how cute they are and I remember putting
poison down their throats as instructed (correct way to butcher them?). We
stand at one side talking -- I tell her about my bad luck and someone comes
in -- Toney Escobar and a woman bigshot driving electric cars. Tony's is
like a mini-Brinks truck or chrome panel truck. They drive off to the right
and I follow them on foot -- look like they are showing the place/realtors.
The woman says there's a lot of life left in them (workers come with it). I
follow, intending to cut Tony to ribbons, down to size -- I have scissor
hands, and he needs a diet. The woman has just told me that I was following
my boss and someone else in his car and something fell from the sky on their
car and it's not likely they survived. I am amazed how bloodthirsty and
ruthless I have become suddenly. Everyone had been grabbing their clothes
out of the washer and hanging them on hangers and mine were mostly plastic
clothes -- so they don't need to be ironed. As soon as I finish that, I get
mean. I want to check them to see if they're dry at lunch instead of
waiting until tomorrow -- I'm very antsy. It was a barn and I let in the
turkeys and then poisoned the babies in the nest/soup. The two fluffy
yellow geese come in the door and head for the stairs where the hay is and
lay some eggs. I follow Tony and he and John Byrne are in the nesting area.
One nest contains two white/speckled eggs but they are flat on one side -
fit together like halves of one egg. Tony and John are grinding up mud,
manure, and beans on side of the concrete wall (like a vertical mortar and
pestle). My hand merges with John's and he scrapes my thumb on the concrete
wall in his haste to get it ground and scrapes a big piece of skin off the
tip and it bleeds/stings. They bury the eggs in mud to the top of the nest
like reptile eggs. I tell him he should wear gloves to do that -- get a
rabies or tetanus shot too from the scrape. "You have all this clutter, I
want to just wrap it.". Her mother wakes her up at 6 for work -- if she
sleeps later something may fall on her. I drive wildly -- two other women
tell how they don't have time to go to work. 430 AM I'm sitting in a lobby
-- it's the break at a class and everyone but me has gone out to lunch. I'm
there alone. I grab my purse to look at some notes I've accumulated from
the class. I decide to try to find where they went to lunch and find the
parking ramp. There are very old people with canes sitting along the walls
and 2-4 old women sitting in an island in the middle. One says someone's
name and thinks I'm her; she begins to ask if I remember different events.
Looks like my Great Gram Blanche maybe. An old man (maybe Grandpa Bill, but
fuller face, not prominent cheekbones and wearing a black overcoat) with a
cane along the wall says, "Hi, Sheila." The blond woman walks by again and
tells the woman to shut up. I'm in a car driven by a shadowy person
down a brand new freeway that doesn't even have lines painted yet and still
has plastic on the edges of the pavement. I walk through a park with
pictures of lipstick and make-up booths, and a book of

matches. Two women
discuss cholesterol -- one ate only fruit -- Beverly Hills diet maybe. Then
I'm on a bus parked on a steep hill, waiting to go to someone's luncheon.
Howard Drobness has come back -- he says someone might leave that day and
make up his mind very easily, not like someone else. Then he looks out the
window and sees Colonel Crandall climbing the groundcover on the very steep
hill. Howard says Col Crandall looks sour faced, but he looks more relaxed
to me (since retiring). "Not today, must pass today." An empty garage or
warehouse and a yeti materializes inside right in the middle of the floor.
Voice repeats, "empty garage." "I had a black night of the soul because I
have no soul." Make-up display of "relaxed make-up" -- picture of twisted
rope or rag used in headache advertisements in the 50's.

> 7/31/01 9 of wands, strength; two of wands (R) fear of the future.
> 1030 PM I didn't write down what I was hearing at first -- trying a new
> thing of having a conversation maybe, but then after a few seconds I
> couldn't remember anything -- was a peaceful feeling, almost like a boat
> rocking -- only remember the first thing I heard when I relaxed -- "the
> phone call". "How many times?" "They're gone, I put them in the bucket
> (glasses)." 430 AM I sit in a car or at a table with a blond guy (can
> only see the back of his head) -- he lost $43K already. I reiterate --
> you lost $50K and just started college. Voice says, "he lost half a
> million." "Easiest way to find dead babies -- watch the mother" picture
> of cat (before they start to stink). "Romantic bison just at the end of
> his affair with filth." I'm trying to write a (murder?) script with two
> other people. I'm sitting with legs outstretched on the floor. I try to
> think of something, then say that it's not much use asking me, I can't do
> dialogue -- because I never talk to anyone. I tell them they need a
> sample script to see how many minutes before the commercial/formula, but
> they show me -- it's two one hour plays. Man takes a kleenex, then puts
> it in my purse. "What shall we have them say to each other? What shall
> we have them do?" [A mine flooded in China (electric cars) -- 2,300 people
> possible in mine. Nanotube -- flat, ring shape, new amino acid that kills
> bacteria, and maybe fungus and certain forms of cancer.]

> 8/1/01 Knight of swords (R) -- logical, ignoring the emotional. 1030 PM
> she opened her mouth up different ways. She's totally into it. Group.
> Cross numbers. 2 AM Auditorium at work -- looks like the N-Building. A
> speaker on the stage (black guy) and a young black guy in the audience
> watching raptly -- dream focuses in on his face from about 20 feet away,
> but I don't recognize him -- ignores the rest of the audience.
> "Ravenhurst." or "Havenhurst." Loud voice, "Chandra Levy and I... (are
> here). 330 AM the same auditorium as at 2 AM -- I must have been
> trying to figure out what the speech was or who the guy in the audience
> with the spotlight on him was. Sandy Cortez is scrolling down a list of
> white text on a blue background. The background is a flat color a little
> deeper than sky blue. Suddenly the blue becomes a 3D color -- different
> shade and texture -- looks like a deep blue pearl or opal with a dusty or
> sparkly surface. I go back to sleep again, and again start racking my
> memory -- about what did the list say -- it looked like a table of
> contents. Then the top of page two suddenly appears before my eyes and
> the words are exclamatory (something like 'look at this list' -- it wakes
> me up from the dream so I don't read anymore, but I don't wake up enough
> to write it down -- but I remember it ended with the word 'list'. 530 AM
> "the course of the people not set in concrete." The .... costs no
> sieve like that."
>
> 8/2/01 9 of swords (R) -- (self-torture over nothing, self-loathing,
> bed-of-nails.) 10 PM "Since you already know it, you should know what
> this is" -- picture of a metal rod -- looks like the rod for cleaning
> guns. Picture of a baby in bright light -- picture fades away after about
> 30 seconds like all remote view scenes. Then, longer, more dreamlike
> picture of a baby sitting on one woman's lap and reaching towards me --
> little dishwater-blond baby saying, "I want Mommy." Then I concentrated
> my hearing continuously on a sound like a motor that went on and on.
> (Gordon Michael Scallion recommends this method for meditation, can use a
> clock ticking, and when you can't hear it you've entered the meditating
> state) until all of a sudden I heard a roomful of people with deep, quiet,
> relaxed voices laughing and chatting; which also lasted about 30 seconds.
> 11 PM "Her parents didn't like so she wiped from her memory -- about the
> baby" (turkeys). "Another night -- known from ..." (scribble on the paper
> where I fell asleep). 130 AM Line from a book or computer screen zoomed
> in on in the dream -- the words keep changing. For awhile there are a lot
> that begin with "H". Maybe something about a "gene pool" -- maybe fetuses
> UFOs get from humans, see below. "Angry arms will." The words are hard
> to read like the other remote viewers complain about. [Foreign Policy
> magazine, also covered by the Washington Post -- article on population
> trends to 2025 The Population Implosion by Nicholas Eberstadt -- "Be
> careful what you wish for. After decades of struggling to contain the
> global population explosion that emerged from the healthcare revolution of
> the 20th century, the world confronts an unfamiliar crisis: rapidly
> decreasing birthrates and declining life spans that might set back the
> progress of human development." Article states that if you can answer why
> birthrates are dropping all over the world (including countries as
> different in attitude towards industrialized jobs, lifestyles and culture
> as: Indonesia, China, Japan, Germany, Brazil, Cuba) the Nobel prize is in
> the mail -- declining life spans are expained by drinking and smoking in
> excess -- example the vodka consumption in Russia and Baltic areas,
> suicides in Japan over the depressed economy. MY ANSWER: 1. maybe the
> UFOs are stealing the fetuses in greater quantities than before suspected.
> 2. other relevant facts are that the first country to experience a drop
> in birthrate was France in 1800 -- which was during the French Revolution
> AND during the colonization of the USA and the American Revolution, the
> per-capita alcohol consumption in the USA was dramatically higher than it
> is now.] 5 AM Someone gives me some pregnant rabbits. Then I have two
> boxes of baby rabbits -- packed in boxes like china comes in with packing
> material. I open the first box and try to count them -- there are three
> on the first layer -- they are pink and don't wake up. Someone hands me
> another box of them and three of them open their eyes and get out of the
> box -- one has blond hair. Then I see a young skinny cat and notice I'm
> in my living room sitting on the floor in front of the TV. The rabbits
> have crawled around behind me so the cat might not see them. I tell a
> shadowy man to pick up the cat and he does and puts it right back down
> again; so I pick it up by the scruff of the neck and hold it that way so
> it can't scratch me. The cat begins to talk, "I didn't do it." It is
> meowing very quietly but you can understand it. It says something else
> and then the shadowy person interrupts and says, "what are you doing?" I
> mention that the cat can talk. Mike Dafforn and Bernie (teaching a class)
> are with some young girls that are jumping in the ocean and Mike says the
> splashing noises they are making is "throwing food to the sharks." I ask
> if we can teach a class on butchering rabbits (and eat them -- I've been
> adding up the number from the two boxes). Bernie says one whole box of
> rabbits fell in the ocean. I resume trying to put the other ones in a
> bigger box so the cat can't get them. An Japanese woman shows me two
> rabbits she has that are striped like chipmunks. I find five more on the
> floor with webbed feet and put them in the box too and then say to the
> shadowy man that they look like moles. They are cold. He says, "they
> are." I ask what I should do with them and he says, "put them back." So
> I put them back on the ground. Then there are a lot of people in a dark
> warehouse with shelves up near the ceiling, and we move towards the door
> where there are lighted glass cases with desert plants and sand. A woman
> asks me if I want some man and I say no. She says he's good in bed, but
> he'd eat me. Then I see a snake in another lighted glass case that looks
> big enough to swallow the girl watching it. She asks if there are two
> snakes and I see a skin it has shed. There is another snake crawling
> along the back wall. She points out an injury on the snakes's side that
> shows up on the shed skin. I say, "yes, you can stab them if they grab
> you and try to squeeze you." Maybe it's the ghost of a snake that the
> police found stabbed to death with its dead owner wrapped in its coils --
> stabbed to death while it was squeezing him to death. The snake in the
> case's stomach looks funny -- slitted, like it might already have been
> gutted. It has grown a lot since I saw it last. Then I'm outside and in
> the dream I know where the town is -- it was supposed to be Germany
> visiting Sandy. [The apartment manager's rabbits had more babies (last
> night?) and she put them in a shoebox. She had one that wouldn't nurse
> the babies and she gave it (pregnant) to a girl who looked like she owned
> a snake -- leather and tatoos.]
>
> 'Rabbit Fever' Multiplying Rare but deadly disease reported spreading in
> U.S. Tularemia, the rare and deadly disease that baffled health officials
> on the Massachusetts resort island of Martha's Vineyard for more than a
> year, is showing up elsewhere around the country. The Deseret News reports
> two cases of the disease in Utah. The disease, also known as "rabbit
> fever," usually spreads through contact with wild infected rabbits, ticks
> or deer flies. Because the bacterium can spread so easily through air and
> water and because it can be so deadly, government officials consider it
> one of five potential bioterrorism weapons, the story says.... Korey
> Stringer, a 335-pound standout offensive lineman for the Minnesota
> Vikings, died Wednesday of heat stroke, one day after collapsing at the
> team's training camp in brutally hot weather. "I'm not one to make a
> whole lot of noise," Stringer said. "I'm not trying to back up the Brink's
> truck. I just want to make a comfortable living." -- quote from an
> article written about his weight loss down from 388 pounds. He had failed
> to lose weight under a doctor supervised plan in Ohio.... In a separate
> study in Nature, Krause reported finding a 70-million-year-old tooth
> which is the only marsupial fossil found in Madagascar. The tooth is the
> first identified marsupial fossil from the time of the dinosaurs from the
> southern hemisphere....Japanese Live Longer, Women World's Longest-Lived
> ... Despite reforms in Japanese immigration laws, a community of ethnic
> Koreans in Japan-many of them fourth-generation residents of the
> country-still does not enjoy Japanese citizenship. Japan doesn't
> naturalize any immigrants....

8/3/01 7 of wands (valour, taking risks, no compromise); 10 of wands (R) beware of backstabbing; 10 of swords (infatuation) 1 AM "Since the day of their inception all they've done is change people." "The roads are closed for construction~~~" scribble, fell asleep. 4 AM I'm in an unfamiliar room. There is a baby in the room with me -- playing on the floor, in bed I'm afraid I'll roll over on, and then on the changing table -- has been in the room quite awhile, must have wet diaper. I have to nurse him, no food in the room -- but I have no milk, he seems to be full. A man gets in bed with us -- seems to be bunk beds, so he's above me. He says he's dying and I say I'll be true to him forever. He says, "No, Sheila." Then I tell him I really like him -- wonder why I didn't say "love" instead. The baby crawls into another room with adults and I follow him -- seems to be the cashier stand at a fast-food place and go up close to the dusty windows to look out -- looks like the entrance to the Galleria where the 66 year old Mormon woman was stabbed by the 22 year old blond guy. [Mom told me to watch out for blond guys, they're crazy.] The man offers me cake with fluffy frosting like I used to make in high school (whipped in the top of a double boiler) but I'm not hungry and he has only one piece -- he would have to share it with me. I see his room and he has a bag with presents I gave him. I take back a book and an small see-through electronic thing even though it will be heavy to carry a long ways. I am setting off on a journey that begins at Northrop Electronics (closed building) sidewalk -- voice says I'll need water. I think I'm walking to Booneville from Des Moines down Highway 90, which is very straight, no curves, 2 lane. I think I will get there before I get thirsty, but am carrying a 2 gallon water container. I pour it out on the shrubbery along the sidewalk and it is really bullshit, not water. Then I realize I left my purse on the ground and go back and someone has taken everything out of it except my drivers license and car insurance card, which are all mutilated. I refill my empty purse with a one gallon plastic water jug and a rag and start out. I pull the jug out of my purse and accidentally hit a man on the sidewalk in the face. He lies down under an awning and says he's so angry that he has a big hard on and grabs it (down the leg of his loose trousers) and I have to have sex with him -- blow job right in front of every one I think, or sex, my choice. I am so tired of this dream that I don't care if I get AIDS, maybe I'll die. He says, "I'm a little baby" -- and I unbutton his shirt and he says, "ALL RIGHT." I tell him I don't want to give him a blow job, but my $30 is gone from my purse, all I have is that empty plastic jug. He says he's a cop or FBI and I'm bribing him -- takes out a badge in a leather case, but it is really his card -- name keeps changing when I try to read it. He looks like Mark Ferman. I give him a blow job for awhile and he embraces me -- his cock is a guitar pick. Then he acts very friendly -- I am surprised. I say, can I go now? I try to get out of there before anything else happens but see my Indian sand painting quilt I made and also a scrap of the worn out red and white one my Great Gram May made on his floor. It is very tiring to walk -- plus it's about 20 miles. I'm at the bridge the train goes through under Highway 90. I take very big steps and just try to keep going. I get to the exit through a restaurant/bowling alley. The exit is a turnstyle with metal teeth that look like shark teeth that is only about 6 inches wide. I stand there, too fat to get through -- wish now I'd lost weight when I had the chance. I look up and the cop is standing there along the wall wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt. There is a blond curly guy next to him who was at the party too and he says, "oh, it's our little friend". The receptionist at the desk on the other side has red hair pulled back tight. She tells me that's (six inch wide turnstyle) is the path to the weddings and you have to follow the same path throughout. I have to go all the way back to the pin setting area and start over and take the right path (the paths have waist high metal walls and are like mazes). She says I can go around on the patio and the path that goes in that direction is the priests path. I don't argue, just go that way. She calls after me, "never mix the social weddings and the ....." I don't hear the end or she trails off....... "There's a post here I could give you a ticket for." "Small schools - this whole package is drying out (no more small schools in the future)." "Over here, these two people start meeting policemen; noodles on your back." ... Book with chapters -- title is 'My Joses'.... Volcano near a town -- tourist on a plane goes there; voice says, "I thought you were afraid to look out the window; the food service; I'll take care of all that."... "She's checking her book in case she ever gets good enough or ever gets $20."... Large rodent snoring behind a glass wall -- sound like a metal marble rolling around -- high pitched whining noise. "Should let it out? This is your baliwik." ... Italian voice, "Thanks for tellin me the future is a lotta offensive..." "The last named hero carries the guys (to the pet cemetery where they put all their sons-in-law).... "A baby. A kiss to focus on.... Those who are pregnant don't want to spend any time talking."... Huge fire in the middle of a biosphere, "you saw the fire and you knew." ... Druid pledge of allegiance -- "Pledge allegiance to the crowd and to the tree clinging with poison oak for which we stand and which stands for us." [Carlos Casteneda said it's impossible to walk in dreams, he spent a lot of dreams trying -- must glide or float. When I floated in one dream, I drifted higher while I was looking around at a town's lights and ended up high off the edge of the earth and had to try to flap my arms or hold my breath to try to sink back down again -- I kept drifting higher. Other times I've flown to the beach, high above and seen the waves breaking at 180 degrees to each other like the Red Sea parting and I didn't get dizzy being up high.] [When I was in high school once I was drinking water from the disconnected hose at the barn pump and the unbeknownst to me the other end of the hose was in the bull's water tub in the barn where he was locked up most of the year and the water running back had bullshit in it -- he'd shit in his water tub.] 8 PM I'm in the dorm again. One roommate moved out and a second has her stuff sent -- so one whole corner of the room is now empty and you can see the wall. Ida (the one that moved out a long time ago comes back and puts her sweater in a cabinet in the wall). I'm finishing the one class I had to go for my BA, but it's 28 years later and now I can afford to live in the dorm and study like the rich students. I open the curtain and look out and it's raining. I merge with the window and then am outside on a jogging sidewalk. The weather is violent thunderstorms and rain like in 1978 at Mom's and then I get mixed up with dreams I had back then where I have to hike into the wilderness to hide -- I'm a revolutionary in the resistence. I hiked there so many times I started flying finally. The dorm is brick with a large window with blinds. The fourth roommate whispers on the phone but I hear "she". I ask her what she was talking about. She says her boyfriend ran past the window. I ask her why I'm taking so many classes when I only needed one two hour credit. I'm taking 16 or 18 credits. I have a bed but don't go to sleep in the dream.

8/4/01 Queen of wands; 8 of swords (interference) sheer bad luck, past humiliation, details waste time from more important things, care in some things and disorder in others.
130 AM "Sacramento milk bar." "She finds it and then she doesn't want it." Label on a small door that says 'find out' (tonight). 430 AM Small trees sprouted in manure. Plants with a sign on them that reads, 'Call the homeless by their names.' Voice, "okay, we will." (The homeless are plants and trees.) I hear the beginning of a poem but don't wake up and write it down. "I don't see how this establishes something, dear." A tree branch falls in the forest -- it's a virtual forest in a computer. I'm typing and there are two copies of it on the screen, each one in two parts and the computer lists all four parts on the screen as it tries to save it. I hear a secretary talking in the next cubicle -- about Oddly or Audrey. It is really two or three different Audreys - face lift. We secretaries all go to lunch, I have to mail an order for two dolls and an application for disability that I made a mistake on and had to do over. The power is off - it's storming out -- outside the window. I put on a girdle my aunt gave me when I was a kid. I pass a supervisor and hear, "I don't want to sign any more." Elizabethan dresses.

8/5/01 Chariot (R) inability to handle troubles; King of cups -- social reforming activities as a mask for the wish for recognition. I study one-three cards before sleep, but it is hard to remember all the details of more than one at a time (to reconstruct them in your mind after closing your eyes) so I just remembered the faces of the men on the cards this time -- two blonds. I also asked to see a past life -- far enough back to be non-stressful. 130 AM Then I seem to be the third sister or third wife of four of a Chinese household. The other three's faces are distorted like ghost faces - they elongate. I ask where I fit in and there is a dotted line around a space for the third woman in line. I assume it is a descending sort from oldest to youngest. 630 AM "You're not helping (hurting) me." Email repeated several times to get my attention -- about favorite concepts -- [mine seems to be women/children issues -- including future population trends, which are ultimately dependent on women having children. Last week the new research finding is that memory/intelligence and pain thresholds are related --(my conclusion: must be a recessive gene or mutation) -- so now they give pain meds in the anesthesiology so that the sleeping patients brains will not remember the surgery pain and develop phantom pain later]. ... I seem to be a cavewoman -- standing on a cleared field trying to decide if that (being in the open) is more dangerous -- attack from above (by big birds?) or the tall grass nearby is. [I have dreamed about a group of rebels or army through tall grass before.] My hair is tangled and I'm bent a little with age, sunburned, even though I see myself from the outside. Thinking makes my brain hurt a little. I'm tired and confused thinking about change. I open a door that was stuck -- science fiction inside. [Project Pope by Clifford Simik I just started -- is supposed to be about Robots building a pope with all knowlege gleaned by "trained human sensitives" -- but unlike remote viewers, they are listeners (sentence that can be read two ways "all humans" do this (no aliens) -- involves the canonizing of Mary" a listener, "an honest attempt to haul Vatican back to the course it should have followed all these years".]... "Road probably won't go through." Bunk beds, I can stand an awful lot of pain. Language of the people. Nightmares, Sheila. Next present is clothes. Three parts of your body, assuming you were right. Can't come back in without the key (broke itself off in the lock). Very tall speed bumps. I try it, but I don't care. 8 AM at a gas station to get air checked; only need $1.26 in gas. Man has two collages like mine -- one is of a statue of a man sitting at a table (clothes like the King of cups) with two other statues of men on each side of him. The other collage has numerous objects -- a shoe is one. "Military are ugly, they eat once a week." I'm at a bookstore or health food store -- outside is a crowd of people -- it's London and the bookstores open at 4 AM. When I go outside everyone in the crowd leaves -- to a teashop or the other door -- voice says, "don't be concerned about it." "It's on location, is very capable, goes very well with your camp -- good companion." I'm locked in a room for awhile and look around, a few scraps of paper on the floor. "The third one (husband) is a cop -- sits around the house." A young guy in a yellow T-shirt comes in and is very glad to see me. A shadowy man says he has to go and leaves out the door. The young guy embraces me and when he leans back I get a good look at his face, which is very tanned. He says ruefully that maybe he needs my religious viewpoint. I tell him that I have to be honest - I'm an atheist, but I was a religion major in college. Then I quote a Sufi passage (the key of the Rumi story) -- 'my beloved waits outside the door' and say that's the same as a Christian quote also, but it almost wakes me up trying to think of it. He gives me two beautiful dresses, but I put on a pink and white striped sweater and pink jeans so that I can go look for the shadowy man. A large group of his followers comes in, I can see only one black woman clearly. I go outside and realize I don't know where I am or which way I went to get here. I go to the right and the street seems to go in a circle, maybe a cul-de-sac. "It's the rushing hour and I have a guy to fix it again." "Did I get hitched again this year, probably not." Hunters shoot at a woman and hit a metal frame as well as her. I'm on a divided highway. 4 PM A woman talking behind a partition -- I say she's Rose, a stripper I heard talking at Second Hand Rose in 1978 -- she's still stripping. Then I see someone on a trapeze and think about falling and it happens, then I think that the person can grab the chain as they come around and that happens too,but everyone is crying -- including me, but it is silent. I run to the spot and there are mashed potatoes and a life-size nude woman made of pink jello the person could have fallen into. [Videotapes of a man cutting off pieces of women and eating them found -- roommates found them -- my dream rotting meat between teeth.]

8/6/01 7 of swords/futility (taking the easy way out; instead of taking
responsibility and confronting others with theirs) 1030 PM "Not mine, her
bracelet." "Sat in Congress adapting." I read an email in a dream -- "I
enjoy seeing your political..." then I wake up. 2 AM A shadowy man drives
me down a dirt lane that has overgrown with grass, looks like a lawn,
because no one has driven on it for so long. I think the man is dad and I'm
18 and leaving . It is muddy, a little standing water but he doesn't get
stuck. He says, "they needed some energy." There's a flimsy fence -- and I
throw a small $3 slice of hay. There is a whole herd of very unusual black
cattle with unusual skin, no fur. They are shadowy too but could be baby
rabbits/rodents/badgers/pigs/very small elephants without trunks, maybe.
Maybe they are dead -- dead people have no hair. The bull is right in the
center of the herd and he gets the hay to eat first I notice (like the cat
family). Then the bull goes to ridiculous extremes--put the piece of hay
under his 10 gallon water tub and is standing on top of it with all four
feet bunched up (like elephant in a circus) I assume so that the other cows
can't eat any. The man says the fence is very flimsy so there is no use
running away, so I go towards the bull and shoo him off the water tub; and
am embarrassed to be so scared that I yell, "daddy" and cover my eyes. Then
I notice a red bull and I think the two bulls will fight, but they just look
at each other and then they stare intently at me and then I'm afraid they'll
follow me like they usually do, and they start towards me. I hide in the
cornfield and the red bull charges down the row I'm on and I step through
into the next row right before he gets to me, like a matador. I have the
water pan and I get underneath it to hide (barely fit, must painfully bend
my head down) and I can hear them talking around me -- sounds like Bett.
There is also a box there -- about 2 feet tall. [The water tub is the one
the real bull had when I was a kid and he's shit in it and make dad mad.]
Pictures of different school classes -- ghosts in pictures and clouds around
the kids and they have their hands up over their faces. An elephant walks
up on his back legs and wants to hug me but I'm afraid his trunk in the way
will make his legs too short and he'll crush me. Aussie voice, "if you
reflect the right movement." "People are beginning to laugh and get
concerned about that" -- peeling ear of corn. Some product that is going to
make me younger and thinner -- sold in New York. "My Lord," voice says --
when I gather up a handful of bullshit to throw at someone. Magic Johnson
has some poems in the internet. Woman hanging off the top of a flagpole.
Woman blowing up the house says, "true, I bought some explosives." Mom
maybe, an Irish thing? "Body temp went down to 43 -- breaks you heart
because it is frozen and brittle. "Have fun sweetie," he called me that
before he left. Voice, "stick it out." Black bull is giving money to
Catholic school -- going to cause a big stink. Authorities never won in
Arkansas. "Don't break apart real easy when

. "Don't break apart real easy when they get afraid." 4 AM I
dream I'm walking around the bedroom but I don't look to see if my body is
still in bed, so I don't become lucid in the dream. [I have strained
muscles from walking up a lot of stairs at the beach to pick grass for the
rabbits and in the dream I got up to put menthol on it, but my body didn't
get up -- I guess I was out of body.] In the dream I can hear it is raining
outside the window and I hear someone saying they might have to drive to
Detroit tomorrow and the Interstate is closed. [Seems like I can hear real
people talking around 5 AM when they start to wake up?] "We may have to go
tomorrow."... Man with magnet (erasing?) phone messages. "The children found
in bed in pain are usually mine." List of things, "definite lack of
interest."... Medical experiment where two boys tread water until one dies.

Another drowning on a school trip to the beach, like last year (girl drowned
in rip tide); two boys in rip tide, surfer held up one, but the other one
drowned. Federal judge killed by two motorcycle gunmen in Indonesia.
Police said they had arrested two men over the killing on Tuesday (8/7/01),
hours after finding explosives and documents (in his house) linking Tommy
Suharto to a spate of bombings which have rocked the troubled nation for
months. Stock exchange bombed killing 15.
8/7/01 10 of pentacles (family background) 11PM-- privilege. Picture of
simian face looking up and a hand with a wafer--impression of communion or
last rites. A campground with a bare littered path which changes into a
reclining woman's face--she is lying on her stomach, face to the left.
Mother Earth, looks American Indian. Everyone needs a check-up--a whole
group going to a doctor together. Picture of the interior of a Spanish
Mission alter with a bottle on it, man in robes sitting to one side in a
chair, "when you have one bottle, it's filled from the well." A young
redheaded woman to the left of a split screen--"blessed and beautiful."
Voice, "flatten the world and everybody in it." Woman in Russia calling for
help. "Instead of diverse, it's me." Man laughing, "Mike says they're
pissed." 12/Midnight--Man and woman in a truck driving through a forest,
sunny day. Voice, "clock." Man jumps out--he has shoulder length, curly
dark hair, army camouphlage fatigues. 3-4 times a week I'm happy--to see
your toes change color (through a hole in the wall). "I am pregnant, you
guys get out; my eyes are on top of the refrigerator; now wait for twin
boys." Huge super highway with 10-15 lanes in each direction crossing the
country. At the edge are rubbery balls the size of gravel the cars drive
over. The cars seem to be going at a constant slow speed as I cross the
road. Voice says a man was hit by a car. Maybe the future, though. There
is a plant that looks like a palm fringe with castor bean leaves that feels
like soap when you touch it, I bend the leaves down. Clothes washer/drier
that you put right in with the clothes (a small unit)--can wash them in a
small drawer. I am sitting in a drafty room in bed--school break. I have
several tasks I want to complete--laundry, several class assignments;
everything seems to be done, so I just sit there and look around--look out
window and a blond is down there talking to someone about laundry. I go to
the office and Pam seems to be the new supervisor or colonel's
secretary--has a nice office with more of those soapy plants, they are
ornamental too, they glitter. Man talking about a girl who lost weight.
Loud voice, "we do not release family matters."

8/8/01 Empress (R) You leave it on. Light stranger. Ironing board made of jute like welcome mat. Small insects (pink) in the seams of clothes -- I see one, inch worm. Crawls like baby. Jewish birthing chairs with a board between them covered with a tent.

8/9/01 Empress (R) 1 AM They're gonna have to pay for this (bigfoot). Peter, you throw away my handiwork, my dryness, my silliness. If I keep taking you, you're going to have to come to the conclusion. 2 AM There is a discussion of shamanic powers -- a woman and her daughter. The woman's power is solid, symbolized by matching red sofa and loveseat or chair and the daughter has a Cheerio she picks up off the floor which has a hole in it (traditionally, any food that falls on the floor belongs to the "Gentry" or fairies.) Discussion is the source of power. If you get a little bit furious, keep your mind to yourself. Another shaman advertises in the newspaper to find out the source of the power. Email to de Raney or Derhaney -- prevents disasters such as ferris wheels. Also the importance of the person and what they have to protect. 5 AM I'm at the home of my aunt or employer -- I'm babysitting -- I'm going to do it next week, otherwise I won't and I'm picking up some clothes. There are barriors of too many clothes to find mine, a little girl delays me, I pick up a quarter she found. I wanted to avoid the parents but I pass them going out and I don't have to think of something to say to them -- they seem to be gangsters, maybe Italian -- women is tall and blond, slender. They are very involved with their kids. I've just had sex with a guy -- I become conscious for a moment and groan and make too much noise, disrupt myself in sex scene, will bother the neighbors. Or blowjob and I'm afraid she'll smell my breath as I pass her. [This has to do with a Rumi quote, 'I silently moaned so that for a hundred centuries to come, The world will echo in the sound of my hayhâ1 It will turn on the axis of my hayhât ' (Divan, 562:7)] Secret is silent sex maybe -- for population density. The Lovers card is hidden by a black bar at the bottom of the computer screen. The couple is going out to a party, the woman is pregnant again, daughter looks about 8, has very beautiful dresses. Are you dedicated to my abuse and the story? Pregnant woman, doctors will not tell her how she's doing. Sound of rip page out of notebook. 9 AM Three hundred religions that have a temporary hold for one year -- or three months, on their ceremonies, try the new method. A man has sat so long he stumbles when he walks, limps, ragged clothes -- "get closer". On your own, so now you're processing. Hunting, a large animal on the ground -- I cut it open and have only a few seconds to take the heart. Very scholarly discussion about "scouts" (Stephan Schwartz, interview 8/8/01 on Art Bell, talks about how remote viewer human consciousness has affected sleeping mice." Energy of dreams; ability to remember; what would happen if he uses the code of his body? Alternate reality theory will cause disruption to society just like invitro. You have to make up for it, you have to call. A struggling life form, a small tree. A woman putting old furniture in a new house. New world with old world privatization. I'm reading a text, but a voice is telling me what it says in my left ear, "I wonder if you can be depressed in your sleep?" Woman's voice sounds like she has a gap between her teeth, distinctive voice. I try to wash it off. Magazine article titles I'm reading: Yet With Giant Flowers Taking the Scene. Hypo Inside is a Form of Petrol. Five Toys that Cluster Around -- man has no normal trappings of life, a table. Environment within a frame of family privilege. Continent fails historical test: pass saved, passe. I have two pencils and sharpen them down to nothing (dream remembered spontaneously hearing a mention of school on the radio). I'm standing outside a movie studio built in Palmdale, original building is a one-family house; big building with a metal roof; new construction, only the studs are up, next to me of 2X4s and I hear a noise and wood shutters roll down half way, then when I think about the danger, the other half rolls down cloth scrolls. There is snow on the ground but we don't wear coats. I'm carrying a sweater with gold designs like the Empress Tarot (dress); and think, Oh, no -- metal threads. But they are gold beads over gold threads. Somewhere I dreamed or read about four armies fighting in a temperate part of the Arctic. [story about silver derived chemical to be put in cloth in socks to prevent the growth of bacteria, mold and prevent stink -- a lot of people are allergic to metal.]

8/10/01 Empress/pregnant woman 1AM "yes, you come out of the eggs." Picture of a woman spilling wheat on the carpet (in my living room), then pouring water in a small circle all around her. Wakes me up and it IS the Empress! She has a wheat field in the foreground and a water fall on the right side, but with the added ceremony of a circle. "Since still upon this spot I put your passing." 5 AM I see a clock in the dream and it is either 1230 or 130, I can't tell where the little hand is exactly. I seem to be possessed by a multiple personality (dumb but cheerful) who is dreaming this dream or it is just that I keep switching from right brain to left brain in order to remember the dream. It also seems like someone has sent me a "message" or "email" in the dream and is talking to that dumb girl -- wants to be her son maybe -- because finally I meet the guy at a counter and he says that "policewoman was in India for 2 days... she has 2 hearts, 2 lungs... do you get the picture?" [pregnant woman would have 2 hearts--baby maybe removed by UFOs] Examples of dumb girl: she/I am talking to a young girl clerk paying for stamps that you have to print in the dream -- she prints a whole page and I think I barely had $6 for a roll -- she/I goes through my purse and finds two $5-bills (I only have one in my real purse), the dumb clerk gives me more than $25 change including some $1 bills that are "silver" so I look in my purse and find I'm dumb too -- she points out that I gave her a $50 and a $5. The $50 is cloth with embroidery on it. So then I have to give her $31 more, I think. When she/I walks away the thing we bought was a quart jar of gasoline that is supposed to be a car but it barely goes when you step on the gas. She says it will run every 2-3 of days to go to work -- is an old Volkswagen bug which I would NEVER buy. The gas looks dirty, maybe a clogged fuel filter. There is also a movie she says you can watch while you wait for your phone call to go through -- vidphone? (I am beginning to suspect I am in the future). I need to call because the new bug doesn't run and she's/I've wasted $1300 on it. I call at the counter -- the first time the number doesn't end with 72, so I must have misdialed. Calls are 23 cents and the female clerk helps me after I can't get the chewed up pennies to go in the slot. I put the 23 cents in her mouth and she says "good idea" when I put all the coins in at once -- bigger slot than now. Then the male clerk tries to help me (I don't know my phone number so I look on some "insurance" papers I'm carrying and it is 528- and I know the last part is 5672) and he dials and does the talking. First he makes a call for himself and I get impatient, but he only says one sentence and hangs up, "I'll be there on the 9th; how much is that going to take, a week?" Then he must call an operator in Alaska for the number I need and he must chat up the operator and reclines comfortably on the counter; then hangs up and says he was too scared to do it. "Night of 5 bullets." I have a gun in my purse too, and had a baby that I left somewhere with someone. I'm turning a thing around and sending it back and hear, "oh, Lordy, oh for a nap, oh baby." so I stop doing that and try to hurry. I/she start walking cheerfully down the sidewalk with the female clerk who is now walking home also in the same direction. I turn around and see a shadowy woman who looks like Nellie and think about borrowing her cellphone, but come to a blue phone booth along the sidewalk; now I think it's 30 cents to make a call. The other Sheila also comes up and says she piled them up like shoes -- she's good at phone calls and volunteers to help me too. The male clerk helps and is the go-between, "last line is while trying to call Chicago, choke laughing; male writing 'just in case something happens', 50 page fashion magazine doesn't end in divorce -- my family; to trust like that! -- pcture of kid thrown down from airplane or by the stork -- had all the plans changed and made at the last second (clerk believes in the stork...); India is in the same situation we are, closest example, burning (widows?); $47K to fix up an old house or $65K to tear it down (more faulty math by the dumb me?); woman officer helps a man out of the car by his hand -- he can't get out by himself; Weinerschnitzel hotdog costs $5-20 for lunch (must be the future); the Elizabethan story suits me fine -- make it suits; email address for horror and anagrams is Los Angeles prefixed -- 213 and 310; everyone has a goal or plan, I don't want to give you details. .... Later I sleep-write with scribbles -- man wants to do something like turning two hamburgers -- big mean? guy. 5-9 AM Muslim man on a horse, boy walking -- spoils of war? I don't wake up and write this down and it repeats over and over until I wake up at 9 AM. I am spoils of war also, man decides he loves me and hugs me. I wake up in the dream on a linoleum floor with nothing and don't even know who I am; but I've gotten a message from a man that we have to both leave at the same time. I am on the "escalator" that is the on-ramp to the freeway to the airport when I realize I don't have my credit card. My mind is racing -- where to go, Italy, Germany, France -- I want somewhere comfortable and Italy is sunny. Then I'm in my car going to work and there is a barrior so you can't turn at the crossroads-- also guards. Faith is ahead of me in line and gets out of her car and walks back-- looks very thin, wearing bluejeans, which is not like her. I tell her that there is a side road that the guy in my carpool took once to go around the barrior, but he was afraid (law) and came back to the main road. I go back to my car and it won't start, clicks; is parked by a wide river or flood channel in Huntington Beach. Faith doesn't offer me a ride, just crouches down and looks at some small damage on her bumper, she wants to sell the car soon -- it is a tiny blond or beige car,looks futuristic. I find a phone on a restroom wall by a big bush to call Auto Club and this time I correctly think the call is 35 cents. But there is gum inside the phone slot and it gets all over my quarter and nickel (I put in a dime and nickel). I also can't remember AAA's number. There are more phones on the counter by the guards at the barrior. [There is a one-day sale of NW Airlines tickets for 50% off I found out when I woke up.] A man following us yells when he falls down and maybe breaks a leg; he's dressed in blue and loses his shirt. It is a will in reverse I'm working on -- for guaranteeing in the next life, a contract. Heyokas in Indian culture do things "backwards" -- wear clothes backwards, walk backwards.

In Gaza, around 2,000 mourners took to the streets for the funerals of
Maher Afaneh, 27, and Mohammad Saqqa, 20, killed by Israeli troops a
day earlier during a confrontation near the Karni commercial crossing.

8/11/01 Empress (mother, pregnant woman) 1AM Picture of hotdogs on a table. 2AM Roz is secretary at F18 again, one week vacation and wants me to sub for her; I'm on a railroad flatcar eating; tell the men in that building I'm not washing any dishes -- to wash them as soon as they finish eating. I get there through a movie theater hallway and Jere and Nellie say they've finished all the work and are just leaving. I try to drive there; ask a sophistocated woman who is reading if she remembers what color the Government car was when we parked it; wait around and then there is only one car left in the parking lot,so I find it. 9 AM I find myself visiting my family and they ignore me completely, maybe grumble, why do I have to visit them. I remembered getting on a plane, maybe I'm sick. I'm sitting in a clinic and I knock on the employee's door to ask where to leave my specimens; the room is emerald green walls and deep purple velvety flowers. A young girl says to email it to her (her email box is 10 -- is in a childrens section of a library) then she looks at it and asks what the specimens are -- I'm holding a quart of water and a ob gyn test (embarrassing) and she says, 'oh, your pain specimen.' I remember going to grandma's house and there was no one there, there were two basement doors -- one green and one blue. I wander out of the clinic which has closed and teenagers are buying hamburgers with different kinds of fries -- one is "incidental" ones you pick out. I keep walking through the parking lot where a man is riding a horse that is running and screaming and fighting, he is pulling on the bridle. The horse ends up throwing him after I think it will; a flimsy fence appears, but I don't crawl under it. Then he rides past me on a dyed-black camel-faced creature that can talk. I hear it say, 'where shall we go now.' Everyone will get tired of this fad horse soon too, it thinks. I decide to cut through an empty lot to where my family lives in the dream and end up at a soybean field, big brick barn. I see empty fields in the distance; my family lives in the city and there are only three houses to the right in a new surburban tract. I am very tired but determine to retrace my steps. Then I think maybe I could fly -- it's a dream, but I don't try it. A list of stars who do and don't wear bras. A plate with a cookie on it.

8/12/01 Devil (Pluto, god of the underworld/sea) 1AM Palos Verdes, what your boyfriends said to you. 4AM I think I've gotten an answer to an email about a myth or fairy tale dream (I see the title of the email, which is THE MERMAID - the title is centered and the rest (?) scrolls off the right edge). Loud voice says, "Is there room with his paws in his pockets?" -- to send an email. Things we would have done differently today. Rain in Asia where they try to determine the fate of the islands. A new myth comes out and there is a fray or battle among some women -- I hear a scream, scuffling. The emails seem to be from a big brick barn (Piers Anthony story in Dangerous Visions -- man takes job on dairy planet/barn where he is a farmhand for a mute human female herd; falls in love with one young "cow" but she probably doesn't even feel his attempt before he escorts her to the brutal "bull.") You would need thousands of dollars to get it right, to reject me. Art Bell's voice saying, "I do." A jet comes too close and takes off the roof where some kids are working. Lily Tomlin's five year old character voice says, "fight ruins a young girl; I have a T-shirt of (bulldozing Lil Abner, Peter Pan or Little Mermaid)." This is in front of the Good Stuff mural of the ocean coming up and covering the streets of Manhattan Beach. In Moscow, shoveling hay in deep snow for cattle. Repeated three times, "I want to see now." Pool in basement of a Texas house (they put it indoors instead of in the yard (to make it safer) -- voice, "didn't matter, I played it safe." Bulldozed the pool. [teenaged girl and her dad drowned in the basement in Texas during a flood in a thunderstorm a few weeks ago.] Man says he cleaned up all the dead leaves in the whole neighborhood and one family wanted to do it themselves. I see some art on a wall just like a guy in the internet (he has lucid dreams and memorizes the art) -- "first picture" -- is a cloud bank from above, swirling like a hurricane, puffy white clouds in a circular pattern on the sky. Seat belt on a bicycle; violence of sleepers in a double bed (arms flailing). People are hoping (end of Earth Quarterly) -- voice, "you've gotta be kidding, sweet corn is modified field corn." 830 AM Started eating (Jewish) myths and myths started coming out the other end. "No, daddy, you can't, you're too thin." That's pretty petty of you, worm; you want to make it with this dish? I have a roommate; her passport expires and she calls her dad and says she can't come home to some family dinner, can't he come to her place. He has a gruff voice like a US capitalist, says it's okay.... There's an oriental wife (eating) so the blond wife leaves.... This is about a character (Barney dinosaur) that consistently appears without make-up.... Rick Coutu's new office, you go through a small hole in the wall -- has a tiny TV on the desk that is never turned off and a perennial plant on the shelf, light is (always) on but he's not there.... A dirty man with an Irish accent follows a woman and she says, "do you know what -- life is better if you smash it." He steps forward, "do you want some?" - Mr. Goodbar?... Awards (for neatest office?) Do you really want to win that?... Reading a book in a dream -- I like to go there (a sillouette of two people, ink blot) -- voice says, "I believe in UFOs." Cinnamon on a guy in a cowboy hat; after argue with boyfriend -- (Persian/Afghan dish has cinnamon sprinkled on wheat/meat dish for breakfast).... Man drags a dead snake/reptile out of a hole, "this should help things." ... A husband will come with you, but a daughter stays forever. A room with a test. ... Come on, your exile. Don't catch the location. Two meanings -- on computer screen -- and catch a falling woman in his arms. That's what she's saying. If I didn't go to work I'd be amply endowed too.... Kids talking to me -- they lose all their hair in a damp, hot place. You wash the bamboo stem in hard cider to sterilize it.

8/13/01 World (completion, return to the Fool); 9 of wands (strength) 11PM Earth First in Dallas. How often a transparent layer is over it. Series of slides of a bare back on a massage table -- green sheet. Answers you want to find tomorrow. Encino. In a barrel (wearing a barrel). You bring it down to El. Picture of someone skating backwards on roller blades, bent over, sweeping the ground/his tracks behind him. This month loosened you up to Phil. Deaf, definition (true). Trees out a plane door -- DB Cooper bailing out maybe. Taxi, taxman. "Have you ever seen the unsorted headlines here?" Breaking (up) just makes the heart grow stronger. 1AM I see a message about a sufi warrior and my step-brother. You shouldn't have to break one a day -- Art Bell bumper music -- Nothing but a heartache every day -- playing over an over every time I fall back asleep. 5 AM I check two things on a list -- one is of no account. A man wants to be driven to the mall to eat supper instead of cooking -- a celebration. Then in the turn lane (shadowy man driving, I'm in the middle) he says to drive downtown, he has to tell his friends. Voice sounds like Lito. Downtown we pass some women Air Force officers at a fancy hotel. I check on various relatives -- Chuckie, Roger. One thing the voice says is of no account, but there are several messages about it -- either ecology or war in the Mideast/Armageddon; I protest.

8/14/01 9 of pentacles (finding a way to make money through positive
thinking) 1AM A dream character I thought was an ally or cohort I see
walking away carrying something that looks like Mom's old vacuum cleaner
(cylinder shape, gray one from the 50s, with no suction). Says that's the
answer to fighting some big battle, which I think is beside the point. The
vacuum looks like a shadow -- is supposed to represent housework -- cooking,
cleaning. But it has an unusual long curved shape that looks like the
genitals of the spotted bull in the most common Minoan frescos of the
bull-jumpers. The curve of the long penis and the two balls at one end.
Maybe a hardened version too, for a walking stick. There's a wall that
might be the Great Wall of China, but I can step over it. I am visiting for
myself to see about the 1-child rule -- Bill Gates is with me, a little kid.
This seems to be Bill Gates, a little taller than a kid; the "bull" is China
-- we are visiting and step over the stone wall. 2AM Is an elephant, not a
bull - - China. "Give up grooming for... (sex) -- leave till the end."
"There were some bad islands (Australia)." A map on the wall with a big
country shaped like a T; it is pale yellow on the map. I try to look at
this new fascinating map but lose my concentration or someone gets in front
of me. Voice says about the T shaped country, "trajectory, start making
shifts." Culprit. Bill Gates carrying something. 5AM A woman talking
about a bombing in a parking lot; a lot of people standing around talking.
It is a seminar -- Jesse shows a chart and I memorize the steps, then he
looks around the room and says it looks like a party. When he clicks on the
word "date" it gets all crumpled up, but it still works to click on. He
wanders off to a small hole in a wall that leads to another room with a
telescope; there's a new girl over there also. I am getting dressed in a
gold satin blouse and red or yellow jeans (I have a choice). Out in the
parking lot (at electronics) men are talking about football and say that you
can use that "horse whisperer" technique for just about anything -- cutting
in line. Somehow I doubt it. A man reminisces about a street with two
schools on it -- calls a talk show about it (kid from the daycare grown up?
another dream -- when the kids were small, that I saw them -- especially the
girls, in 1950's style coats and they were old ladies walking across a
ditch.) Then I'm on a hillside in Iowa City where the Grad College is --
but a different feel, like I'm seeing it from another person's perspective
-- I feel like Darrel Gray or maybe a rich kid that didn't have to work and
went to school there. [I dreamed before of this route, and I was with
Darrel Gray after he died. He was driving past a wheat field and up a hill
so steep it was terrifyingly vertical and the car tipped over backwards.
Ceres VS Pluto -- capturing Persephone in the underworld for eating dream or
dead person joke.] Then I'm at Petsmart sitting on a stool and see a cat
walk by -- I mean to say, there's Tutu the manager's cat because it has
chewed up ears, but I hear "there's Calico" come out of my mouth -- then the
cat really does look like Calico (tail bitten off by the horse) but then the
tail reappears. There is a miniature black bulldog too and several other
cats.

8/14/01 about the Minoan pottery figure I was looking at in an archaeology
book before going to sleep -- the one where the three bull jumpers have to
jump over the bull in the maze in Crete where they kept the Minotaur. (That
was the Age of Taurus, that's why they worshipped bulls then.) So that
means we in the Age of Aquarius worship men or water bearers. And it is
interesting that hydrogen is made from breaking down water -- might replace
oil and will put a LOT of pressure on the Muslims to lose their fabulous
wealth...
But then I dreamed about seeing a man carrying the genitals of that Minoan
bull like my Mom's old 50's canister vacuum cleaner (which had no suction).
Then I found this news item at Netscape news last night: Edmonton, Canada
However, 19 other fiberglass bison had their testicles severed between
Friday and Monday, and the case remains unsolved. They have these 19 bison
in Canada for some type of Olympics event and they are painted the colors of
different countries and they are going to sell them after the event, but now
their value is diminished because they are not anatomically correct anymore.
Two 19 year old men were caught carrying the genitals along with a fire
extinguisher and a rag.

Morning 8-14-01 I dreamed I was standing in a parking lot at work (I
work for the Dept of Defense at Northrop-Grumman where they build the B2
Stealth Bomber) -- at the Electronics building (Johnson Building), which to
me might symbolize Vietnam because their supervisor is Vietnamese in that
building. Everyone was standing around in the parking lot (even though
that building has been shut down in real life and everything moved to
Rolling Meadows/Chicago area) -- and I could hear a woman talking about a
bombing. Then a very self-effacing sounding African American man with a
Southern accent (Washington DC accent) called a talk show and was trying to
warn about something. Then everyone went back in past the metal detectors
(which they don't have here). I could see the man on the phone in the dream
and he had a thin face, looked like Joe who used to work here. He told me
about a black fear in LA that the Govt will put germs in the aqueduct to the
black areas and accomplish genocide. Perhaps there is a fear in DC right
now that Arab/Muslim forces such as Kadafi, Osama bin Laden, Sadaam Hussein,
and others are planning a takeover of the USA and white genocide -- or
genocide of all Americans. Art Bell mentioned a buildup of Iranian troops,
Egypt announcement, unusual activity in Lebanon and Syria.

8/15/01 2 of pentacles (wandering, industrious but unreliable) 1030 PM as often as you're late. 130 AM I wake up in the dream -- four boxes. There's a dried up area on a chicken -- connecting area or tail. See you tomorrow, picture slides down wall. 3AM factions of people. [Origen has a patent on the process still at the application stage. Embrex produces machines that can inject vaccines into up to 50,000 eggs an hour, the magazine said. ... freeze stem cells from different strains of chicken, ...
``Billions of clones could be produced each year to supply chicken farms with birds that all grow at the same rate, have the same amount of meat and taste the same,'' the magazine said. ]

8/16/01 Tower/R (trouble you cause yourself) Keep (take) them in near the end--one of you can go. I haven't even got my pants out of the box. I'm reading in the dream about a site that the description starts out -- that it explores ancient worlds. The guard selected the string and selected the museum; I see an ancient insect and turn it over. Can't remember the rest. You have cats. Do you want to take it with you? We have tried an odd combination of "go" "older days". How are you treating Debbie? You were thinking about doing it and never had time--taskings. Boy in army fatigues jumps into the room, grabs me by the shoulders, asks, "how did I do?" He fooled some questioner that he would never do something. Cookies sent. Seeing someone else drives away the ..... Previously owned and used, yeah. Kidney stones--when kids smell the use of and spread in Indianapolis. 60 year old woman leaves hospital right away, says the beds are for 80 year olds; are for sharks. There are two cookies that feel comfortable yet. Dad stuck her head under the hose and held her there for 3 minutes.... I proceed down a corridor and have my clothes torn off; see a man on a bicycle telling a boy something; I try to keep up with them on my bicycle (I was coasting, and I peddle) until they come to a very steep hill which turns into a cement wall. I was riding down a narrow road, leaning my bike to keep from scraping the trees along the road. Road is to Booneville at first, then turns into the bike path to Santa Monica. [Woman in Santa Monica killed in a hotel fire and her two kids in serious condition.] I wrote something down in the dream--try to grab it--hand goes through some spider webs--looks like it's written in blood. I wake up in the dream and am 20 miles away--down the bike path in Santa Monica. I was reading something in the dream and a voice was telling me something in my left ear at the same time. The voice seems to stick in my memory longer. I have been dreaming of reading off and on all night and is very hard to remember when I wake up, but maybe I'm just too tired to remember this time. Tanned nude man with huge penis walking through a door--penis about a foot long. [BERLIN (Reuters) - A heat wave has prompted some Germans to strip off their clothes in the workplace... Germans have a special fondness for nude bathing, and lie by the thousands during heat waves on ...shores. "He was firmly told that next time he has to keep his pants on," ...Royal Canadian Mounted Police
...detained the man on Tuesday. The man, who spoke only Greek, told authorities he was walking to Vancouver and had removed his clothes because he was hot. The man was given a brief mental exam after his first arrest on Monday in the village of Yahk, then released.]

8/17/01 Judgement (taking of a definite step) 1 AM There was nothing she could do--went into a ... A wonderful saga. What a way to go to the movies - polished black surface. 5AM I have to go to school, have an earache and am going to stop by a pharmacy to ask the pharmacist what to put on it. I start to get dressed and the clothes are green skirt and jacket hanging on a rack like in a boutique, I apparently haven't even bought them yet. Voice says they're Navy uniforms that you would wear only in combat -- I'm not planning on doing that today. My boyfriend comes by to walk me to school (with a shadowy friend) but I'm no where near ready and they leave. Class starts at 9:15 and it is 9:05 already. I have a diaper bag packed and that's about all. I haven't even looked at my class schedule, but it shows only one class in the morning -- which I've already missed, it's 10:15 now, but I don't stop trying to get organized. I yell for my mom to help me; I've looked through my bookcase several times and she finds the book, by Gail Parent -- is an English literature book, the assignment is only one short story which I can easily scan if I get to class. Then I realize I need all the books for the whole day. Someone drops off a 14 year old girl and tells her there is an orphanage that will take her in next door -- she comes over and introduces herself to me, new neighbor. I go outside, am leaving for class carrying the book and diaper bag and my purse. I look back and the house is very large and made of white limestone rocks. My room had two doors. I see my mom in the front yard and think she's drunk and I stop and yell for her to stay calm. But she's with my little three year old brother -- he's naked and she is telling him that she's going to kiss his little moons (butt) if he doesn't stop taking his clothes off. There are some girls walking behind me that I hear say something about a redheaded tamale. My brother is throwing three foot rectangles in the yard under a weeping willow tree. ... You're going to Portland. Book about stainless steel behavior. Just a going away party. The road I am walking down is very steep and slippery looking -- I think the gravel road has been paved with something unusual looking. Sandy Cortez is parked at the curb and has my white T-shirt -- her clothes are all neatly folded and she has a lot of them. Can't decide where to hang it -- Mon or Tues. 530AM Up wind at sea level. Hardest thing in the world is to get someone to call -- there are records, precursor records. Those words mean two things -- 100,000 and ... Just keep lookin. 9 AM I have a baby and the first year when they just lie there is over and the baby is asking questions; it asks about it's blood, full or half. I tell the previous dream to a blond woman -- the big brick house (my family is not rich and I suggest that I was living in Leuzinger High School on the other side of the street) but she interrupts and says it means I want to be alone. I say, but there were so many doors (two in my room alone) and I didn't even think they had locks. She says they should get the locks fixed. Then a secretary and I are cutting up some tuna on the 6-inch square skin. I volunteer to throw it out to the cats, so I fold it up to keep from dripping blood and start out. The scene transforms from Grandma's yard, to Mom's yard, to Larch but I pass a glass lobby highrise with an elevator where I supposedly live to throw it across the street to the Vietnamese market/kennel. It is raining and when I go past the apartment building the water gets very deep, past my knees, so I just throw the tuna skin as far as I can and hope the cat can retrieve it from the flooded street before it goes down the storm drain. A car is pulling up and a middle aged woman gets out accompanied by a shadowy man; she's ash blond, coat or tailored blouse, no umbrella. There's a light rain here bouncing off the sidewalk. [Everytime I try to lose weight I dream about my Great-grandmother's room in the nursing home from her broken hip/osteoporosis. I was born at 10:15]

8/18/01 Strength 5-530AM/first light -- Who wanders in the street giving answers. A slaughter, head cut off. I'm at a party spot. I go to a window several times where someone tells what's going to happen either to me or the world. At the end a man predicts his own future. Many couples are arriving; voice asks anyway, "how many would pay to attend this?" It's in a hole in the ground, a shallow valley filled with snow and filth like ammonia snow on another planet but when I look around it all melts. Is a school gym. The voice just asks questions in this dream. Plants seeds and waters them with a hose. Man asks if his two kids will live, boy and girl. I'm there with a convention and everyone else can probably answer the questions. A woman asks me a question as I get off the toilet full of diarrhea from eating too many cashews; I clean hers and my toilet with bleach. Somewhere in Virginia; no choice down there, man. Two young guys, one says, I thought she lost; he takes off his hat and a rectangular bar. Yes arrived at BRAC company. Corn prediction, but farmer wants to know about children -- he looks too old, sunburned, hat. I couldn't stomach the deal, a lot of money. At the end a voice runs through the list of questions again; they're listed on a screen so I can read along and one is if a woman will get her head cut off; this is the only one that deals with violence, I hope. They reported many students with second degree burns (woman radio voice). Grizzled farmer is going to kill himself if anything happened to his son; after all the others are done he asks question, what happens where the material for these get-togethers runs out? The meeting is all men except for me -- rough men. Frodo al fresca -- this is what I want. Someone throws something out a highrise window -- cloth on the ground at the trajectory. Why do you show shame, question throughout. There are a lot of "S's" in the questions. Extend out, get cut off (guillotine a green bean that is stiff, not cooked and limp). A huge explosion in Las Vegas -- picture of how it would look from Laughlin -- noise could carry that far and hurt ears also. Food in metal bags. Voice asks if couples would pay to come here -- to the ammonia ice landscape. The next drawing will be at least 10-20 years. Man hitting another man in olive fatigues but shooting starts. Why do you say that to everyone else, man throwing off uniform shirt. Dual voice, wasn't cheating, wouldn't have been. Building, very tall green building in Malaya, with a wire of beads strung around it. Man beating people in street with a stick. I thought I was going to remember the list of things right before I woke up. 9AM Man tells me that the signal will be a red pen and blue-black (nothing will happen). Loud voice says, "Disaster is without flame." A fancy hotel; I look up at what looks like an elevator and to the right of it a blue cloth with black lines in a distinctive Spanish pattern "unrolls" down the wall and looks like a scaffold or elevator -- and there is a word "Seconde" on it. A little girl beside me tells me what it means, but I am talking -- tell her it means second class citizen, separate elevator. People are passionately talking - a woman is talking -- very crowded, a bar or nightclub. A man gets off the elevator dressed in black. I feel a stab in my left chest or maybe a heart attack and drunkenly announce that I'm having a baby -- a boy. Someone is watching through a crack -- I can see only one eye. I think about stopping drinking; wash out my canning jar. Very crowded room, dark, wood walls. I think about if the blue/black cloth that was unrolled is Spanish, then the other one to the left of it might have been red -- rising sun flag -- but I didn't see any red circle in the dream. Maybe a bar in Manila. [In remote viewing if you can't view something directly such as numbers or words, you use a symbol to represent them, such as the two flags or colors.] [By Dolly Aglay MANILA (Reuters) - A pre-dawn fire in a Manila hotel on Saturday killed at least 75 people, many of them found asphyxiated in their bathrooms from a blaze which apparently started in a karaoke bar.]

8/19/01 7 of cups/R (debauchery) 130AM A very high hill in a city -- the downtown is over, at least two that I can see, hills. Maybe Rome or Greece. 330AM In the dream I go to Albert Taylor's website to see what he said, can't remember what I read in the dream, must go there awake. Last night on Art Bell radio he said that out-of-body to future or past can show you a personal future meltdown, not the world's. 705AM I kiss my mother -- she's wearing a tailored suit -- and she flinches away. There's a shadowy man behind her. Then I'm in the car stopped at a light, where I start reading and even get out of the car carrying some papers -- but I notice cars waiting behind me and get back in the car and drive to work. I write at my desk until afternoon and then walk over to the next office and see that this isn't my job where I work, might be the rubber company where I worked as a bookkeeper until 1982 -- but that has been torn down and an office park built on the spot so maybe that explains the all new workers. I just go along with the idea that I work here too and that the other people are just new hires. The woman in the next office looks like Jackie and she has to do a difficult analysis of the company -- I say they must throw you in and make you swim as fast as you can, instead of starting out slow in a new job -- like teaching cats to swim. She doesn't need any help, info about the company. She volunteers that she knows what everyone said except one person. Then her boss comes in -- he's very tall -- and stands there beside her and another shadowy woman's desks. I say I'm taking a break after typing straight through, but he stares so I leave and hear him say behind me that "wasted half his break." I go outside to take my break and cool down and walk across a lot of green fields, then get in a car and drive back. When I go back in through a different door, it is through the tool room and a room with corncobs (like Grandma's furnace room) -- and now I'm at my present job and John Barman comes out and tells me to cut up some oranges for him to sample for the week's buy and points to a wire carton of them. When I look at them, they've changed into several goldfish bowls. I feed them a pinch of food just once a week right before sampling them and remark that it's a wonder they haven't starved (but the water stays clean, I think to myself). Voice says they're fine. I look closer and there are huge goldfish near the surface and a lot of smaller ones at the bottom. I remark that it's getting more grusome to cut off their heads each week because they're growing larger and larger, but I begin the task and reach in and grab one out of each of the first two bowls and lay them on the cutting board. They are very easy to catch, and grow fur - look like harp seal pups. Then another new tall, slender young woman asks me if she can buy my car for $25,000. I write down her words by carving them into her desk (so I will remember them until I wake up) -- I carve laboriously "BMW, $25,000" but then think about what I"m doing to the wood and look for a piece of paper -- she points to one on the wall where she already wrote it down -- it is something about selling cars that people donate and has something to do with the School District. She remarks that her boss is a workaholic -- which means that she is getting worked to death. I remark that he sounds like my old boss and name off a few facts about him, but she says he wants to avoid losing a lot of money in a divorce. I start to tell her about the new woman next to her (Jackie) -- how she doesn't want to go put papers on her boss's desk and tries to get the other woman to do it -- but she interrupts me by turning on a bug in their office, so she already knows. I hear Vernita's hoarse voice, and the boss saying, "You Bitch... or something to that effect, you bought this bitch." Then the man comes in where I am and is wearing a white overcoat. I am going to introduce him to the two women but I only know the name of the one I've been talking to -- Chantal -- but I glance surreptitiously at the other (up to now shadowy) coworker and see her name written on her paper -- Joy or Jennifer. .... I wake up and think about the previous dream -- too vague. Voice says, "ok, details." "outsiders didn't take off either one." Picture of a kid finding nails in the street and lying on the ground, finds thorns in the lawn (aids to remember) -- throw (women) up in the air like babies, or carrying in brides. "Ending: you pa